springsteenfan

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I'm trying to stay as positive as I can during this trying time and you all have helped immensely

I want to begin this post by acknowledging the insane amount of luck and privilege that preceded my problem in the first place. In many ways, I feel guilty even voicing how upset I am about this. My feelings probably aren't even legitimate, but I don't really have anyone with whom I can discuss these issues. Long story short, I applied to PhD programs across multiple disciplines and the choice came down to two top-ranked schools (one was slightly better than the other and is in my home state). I was originally ecstatic, but as the deadline to notify them loomed, I began to panic. Pressed to make a decision, I chose the slightly lesser-ranked one a few states away from where I grew up. It is in a better, cheaper location and the school was a better cultural fit for me. I was nervous about going to school so close to where I grew up and there was definitely an impostor-syndrome-esque response on my part that made me think I "didn't belong" (for context, I come from a low-income background). I almost immediately regretted my decision, for reasons professional and personal. I originally chalked up my reticence to nerves–I was probably going to feel this way no matter what choice I made, right? However, concerns about being close to family (my father is in remission from colorectal cancer and has a host of other medical issues, I learned this week that my grandmother is going to need intense day-to-day care, etc.) were raised and I realized that I had made a horrible mistake. I reached out to the school I turned down about 2 days after the notification deadline to see if there was anything that could be done and, understandably, they said it was impossible. I am now feeling lost, alone, stupid, reckless, and silly. How could I have thrown away what will probably be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity (attending a highly prestigious school and being able to care for my family members)? How could I have been so rash and callous? If I had changed my mind even 36 hours prior, this would have all been preventable. Once again, I want to reiterate that this is entirely my fault and I have to live with the (absolutely fine!) consequences of my actions. I can always leave this program and re-apply to the better ranked school from back home, though the chances of readmission are probably close to 0%. I'd like to imagine that I was thinking rationally when I picked the first school and maybe this won't turn out so bad. But I feel horrible right now. Sorry for venting, I'm just not sure where to turn.

University Y could not reinstate my acceptance. Cautionary tale for those who try to fudge the April 15th deadline.

I was deciding between University X and University Y and chose X last Thursday (and subsequently told Y I was not coming). However, I have recently been made privy to some personal information that would make attending University Y much more desirable (involving sick family members, University Y is in my home state). That being said, I don't want to alienate the very kind people at University X who helped me through this process/make professional enemies. What do you think I should do?

Late to the game, but I accepted my offer a few days ago at Brown! I had a fairly idiosyncratic application process in the sense that I applied across disciplines but literary studies has always been my intellectual "home" and I'm very excited to start next fall congratulations everyone!

Hi everyone, I'm new to GradCafe! While, of course, the SOP and writing sample are paramount, I was wondering if anyone could tell me how programs handle the Subject Test. I'm applying straight out of undergrad and otherwise have a fairly strong record (166 Verbal and 6.0 Analytic on the GRE General, 3.84 GPA, research experience), but scored in the 54th percentile on the Subject Test in Literature. I got a little freaked out because UT Austin's website states, "Questions about an applicant’s preparation and readiness tend to be raised when the GRE Subject Test in Literature score is below the 60th percentile." I think only three or four of my programs require the Subject Test, but I was more concerned about places like UT Austin where it's "strongly recommended." Should I even bother sending my score to programs that "recommend" but don't require it? Thank you so much for your help! I'd really rather not spend an exorbitant amount of money to potentially lower my chances at certain schools, but I wasn't super sure how to proceed from here.