Definitely feeling all of this so much right now. This whole process has been so nerve wracking and drawn out and the stress is really interfering with my ability to focus on anything. I am still waiting to hear back from one program, but at this point it looks like it is probably going to be a rejection. I know multiple post docs/ professors that did not get in their first time applying and I have great respect for them and their stories do give me hope, but this still feels very demoralizing. Especially when all of my friends who are applying this cycle are deciding between the 3+ programs they’ve been accepted to. I’ve already been working as a full-time research assistant in my field for the past two years, but am going to try to ask my PI if I can work more with data and scientific writing. I will try to raise my GRE scores a bit, but they’re already fairly high and I’m not sure how successful I can be in raising them. I would love to do a masters, but am not sure how I could afford it. And of course I would have to get into that program too. As it stands I think I will try applying one more time to less competitive programs, get some anxiety treatment, and that’s probably all my sanity can handle. Sorry, that probably isn’t very helpful, but you are definitely not alone. Best of luck!!!