LaserFreak

Your message is amazing.  Shame it's wasted.

I want to say I'm happy to have found this thread because I felt so alone during this whole process too. It is incredibly hard to explain to anyone in my personal life what this means, how it feels to process rejection after rejection, and how even though I have received feedback from some of the most well-regarded professors in my desired field of study, who are also Black women, I feel like an utter failure. I have always been successful at any major challenge I pursued. Now all I feel is doubt about my abilities and how could I possibly be "good enough" next cycle if I somehow found the nerve to try again.
And honestly, I am so tired of anyone telling Black women to be resilient. We are not made of stone. How much of our lives must we commit to always being told to push through, and dust yourself off and try again? That crap is exhausting when you're not, nor ever will be, at an even playing field. For those who don't feel they've ever had to face such experiences as people of color, kudos to you - but that isn't the reality for a majority of people of color. If it were there would be more people of color, especially Black and Latino in academe. 
@JustCallMeDoc, you are heard and I see you on this bumpy journey. I do hope it leads you to a point where you feel whole and affirmed in your choices.

I think the real issue you're having is your fear of failure and now that you're faced with the possibility of it, you're convinced that, as a whole, you're a failure.  I think that the majority of the "pressure" you feel from family or peers is largely self imposed.  Does affirmative action exist in univerisites?  Absolutely.  Do I think that people of colour are severely marginalised against from birth?  Yes.  Do I think that they often need help to break free of financial and societal limitations?  Absolutely.  Do I think that every person of colour who gets accepted to a graduate program or university, in general, got their because of their colour?  Hell no. 
I'm well aware that you are constantly reminded, socially, that you are a person of colour and you often have to struggle with being marginalised, but for the most part, I feel the greatest part of your struggle, right now, is due to your own pressures and whatever you think you have to prove to yourself, your family, or society that you're capable of. 
Though I'm not familiar with what it is like to be a woman of colour, I am, however, familiar with failure.  Many of us are, but in my case, I'm very familiar with failure when applying to grad schools.  This is my 3rd cycle and I've been denied from nearly 50 schools/programs over the last 3 cycles.  That said, I may see myself as a failure at getting into grad school, but not as a failure as scientist.  Failure is an important part of success.  If you don't know failure, how can you know the value of success.  Grad schools are very selective and most grad schools are filled with applications from near perfect applications.  The selection process is 30% your qualifications and 70% pure random luck.  You need to stop imposing deadlines on yourself or holding yourself to some unnecessary, over-bearing standard. 
Any body who has read my posts for any amount of time is familiar that I live by the motto: Strength is not determined by the number of times you get knocked down, but by the number of times you get back up.  If you truly want to prove to yourself you have the strength to succeed, you need to be able to brush yourself off and get back up and try again.  You need to accept that failure is an option and it is a method to grow and be stronger.  You need to stop fearing that the world is watching you or hoping you'll fail.  Failure is the key to learning any skill.  Take strength in your failures, change, and grow.  If you want to prove you're strong, don't let something so simple slow you down.  That's how you succeed. 
Additional (Edit):  Coming up against social pressure from your family to work instead of study is a problem you also need to not let bring you down.  If they don't support you for what you want to do with your life "f**k 'em".  They mean well, sure, but you need to surround yourself with people who respect your decisions, even if they aren't financially "logical."

Being told this isn't because you're black or a woman.  Don't be so narcissistic.  Learning to fail and being able to stand back up and brush yourself off is life advice that EVERYONE needs to live by.  You need to learn how to fail and understand that failing doesn't make you a failure.  There's a difference.  How did you learn to walk?  You failed and literally got back up and brushed yourself off.  Only, now, you don't have your parents there to pick you up.  Now, when you fail, you need to pick yourself up.  Friends and family surrounding you, encouraging you, is important to making that possible, but you are still the one who needs to do it.  Sure, every time I have been rejected over the last three years, I could have curled into a ball, called myself a failure, and never tried again.  That option is entirely available to you and there are times I've certainly considered doing the same thing.  But the mind set of "I've succeeded at everything I've done up til now" has only diluded you into thinking you're some unstoppable force--none of use are.  Now that it looks like you've hit a small obstacle, you have only just realised that you aren't so "unstoppable" afterall.  That fact is, that's okay!  It's okay to fail. 
We, as humans, will all be confronted with the limits of our own success, at some point in our life.  What makes a difference between the strong among us and those who aren't is whether we accept our failure, learn from it, and work hard to push ourselves beyond our limits.  Is the struggle harder for some than others?  Yes.  Do some have to work harder to get to places that come so easily for others?  Yep.  Do some people have a list of things trying to keep them from succeeding, that are entirely out of their control (societal, financial, etc.)?  Absolutely.  The question you, and everyone here, have to ask yourself is: Am I okay with taking the loss and moving on?  Or do I want to prove to myself I can push myself to recover from this and succeed through perserverance.  No matter what decision you choose, you're welcome to it.  But don't blame people who encourage you to be stronger just because you don't think you can or don't think they understand how hard it will be.  You may not take value in what I have to say because I don't know what it's like to grow up as a black woman in a society that severely marginalises against you.  That's fine.  But it doesn't make what I say any less valid as advice for dealing with failure.  Telling you it is okay to fail and try again, is not invalidating the struggle you go through to do that.  It's acknowledging that the journey will not be easy, but we have faith you have the strength to do it--even if you don't think you do. 
If you take nothing away from this, at least take this with you:  The only difference between failing and being a failure, is your perception.

From all of the assumptions you made in your dismissive response to my post for the OP, I provide this: I'm good luv, enjoy.

Clearly you missed the message, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.  Good luck you to.