RyanS

I'm going to spoil a big secret: your grades are not that important in grad school because there's significant grade inflation. Of course, you need to do well and not be on academic probation, but no one compares your graduate GPA with others. It's your professional reputation that is more important. I don't like doing a lot of self-promotion, but there's a link in my profile under "about me" that you might find useful. Good luck! -RS

I'm very saddened to hear this story. It's understandable that this time would be very difficult; if all of those things were occurring to me, I would also not be as productive as I would like and would be struggling emotionally. It's not a problem with you -- it's a problem with our society. Do you have a Black mentor or an ally that you can talk with? I've had to do a lot of personal reaching out with my Black students to help them through this, and some of them struggle with the same assumptions about being a burden or somehow feeling like they need to be "the Black student that has it all together" because they know that their reactions will be judged differently (unlike their white peers). (BTW, one of my students had similar reactions after the George Floyd murder: couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't focus, was losing weight.) It's not their responsibility to handle this on their own even though that's what they have learned throughout their entire life. I hope this encourages you to reach out for--and accept--help.

Congratulations! As everyone else said, your best move right now is to relax, since it will probably be the last time you'll be able to for the next couple of years. Grad school will be great and you'll have lots of opportunities to grow, build relationships, and have fun. Regarding dress, it often depends on not only culture but also context. Since I teach in a professional kind of program, we expect students to dress professionally anytime they are delivering services or in the community (e.g., doing trainings, consulting, etc.). In the classroom, however, they are completely casual.

Ann Arbor is a beautiful city so your competition for housing is more than just college students (I lived there for two summers). It's hard to predict rent patterns, but one tactic is to research property management companies, contact them directly, and offer them several months rent up front if they can secure a place for you. This worked for me and my wife when we moved to Long Beach, CA, where there was also a very competitive rental market in their beautiful Belmont Shores district.

I am a faculty member in a doctoral program and I think it would be okay to apply after deferring admission as long as you communicate your withdrawal from the cohort BEFORE the next round of application review begins. If you feel like you want more time to think about it, you could possibly wait until just before the program is ready to make their admission decisions for the cohort that you have deferred to. You should NOT keep them on the line while applying to other programs, waiting to see if you get into someplace better and then withdraw your admission. That would reflect poorly on you and, as Bernt stated, the professional world is smaller than you think!