Adelaide9216

My first article got rejected. My article proposal for another article also got rejected. I know it happens to all academics, but having these rejections while I am going through one of the most challenging times of my life is somewhat daunting.

1) Because I told him I was not feeling well. 2) There's no major consequences to be honest after speaking with him and to an upper-year PhD student. I am going to make the official request in September. 3) I have re-worked my reading calendar and gave myself more breaks and free time.

Hello everyone, I feel affected by the COVID-19 pandemic and the anti-racism protests that both disproportionally impacts black people. The pandemic also led me to spend three months, out of town, without seeing any friend or relative in person (I live alone). It wasn't bad a first, but it's starting to affect me. Everything that is happening also makes me recall a lot of racism I have faced as a black woman/teenager/girl throughout my entire life and that I have never really called out and felt able to call out until now. I've also experienced different forms of violence throughout my life due to the color of my skin, and it kinda resurfaces now. I am strong, and I've always been able to cope and rely on myself because I realize I can't really rely on anyone because I am known for being strong and a leader. I feel like everyone is letting me down in moments where I most need support. Plus, I was (finally) in a relationship in May after being single my entire life, it felt like everything was going alright but it ended after a month without me really knowing/understanding why. Once again. To be honest, I feel angry, bitter, disrespected, undervalued and tired. I can't focus. I feel like I'm a 50% of my usual productivity (and I'm known for being very organized and productive) but I have days where I just wake up and am not able to do anything. I can't do the dishes, do the laundry, do the groceries, or clean my appartement. I just feel overwhelmed although I am able to go out and take walks. I don't eat much and I don't eat as well as I should've because I'm too tired to cook. I have a research assistantship, and I literally am not able to commit to the hours I must work (I asked not to have a RA in the fall). I think I am going through a mild depression. I think mild because I've experienced a lot more severe depressive symptoms in my teenage years, so it's absolutely not comparable. But I don't feel at my best. I feel discouraged a little bit. I was in a very dark place in 2019 but it definetly got better in early 2020 to be honest, so I'm not at my lowest. But still. My thesis director told me multiple times that my health is my top priority, and that if I need accommodations for my comprehensive exam (an extra semester), it may be possible to ask for one. But I'm kinda ashamed to ask for that, I don't know why. Has anyone here go through a process like this during COVID-19/anti-racism protest as a student of color and how was it? Was your university supportive? I feel like I am breathing through a straw (not literally, but you know what I mean). I'm tired. I can't breathe. PS : I have zero problems with my thesis director, I love my doctoral thesis topic and definetly feel I can rock my comprehensive exam, I've got straight A+ during my coursework (first year of PhD studies). I just need to breathe a little bit. I also want to mention that I had zero vacations between my master's degree and my phd program, so maybe I'm also feeling the effects of that as well.

Someone complimented me on my jumpsuit today.

I am single again.

Back to being single again. Was too good to be true. Too bad!

You've got 4 posts and all of them are regarding threads I have started. May I know why?

I got aboslutely amazing and extraordinary professional opportunities in the last couple of weeks alone. Opportunies that I would've never dreamed of in my entire life. Plus ,I am no longer single. Thank you life.

Hello everyone, I will be attending uPenn in 2021-2022 academic year for a Visiting Research Scholar Opportunity. I am considering living on campus because I feel I'd be more safe (I'm a black woman). Any advice in terms of housing and how to connect with other people ? (I am coming on my own). And if I understand well, you do not recommend walking alone at night and stuff like that, right?

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I re-began reading for comps today. And I found my motivation back. I also switched the calendar of my readings. I am starting with question 2, that has a lot more articles than books on the opposite of question 1. So it helps me with my motivation. What I am reading is actually very interesting on top of that so it helps.

I re-began reading for comps today. And I found my motivation back. I also switched the calendar of my readings. I am starting with question 2, that has a lot more articles than books on the opposite of question 1. So it helps me with my motivation. What I am reading is actually very interesting on top of that so it helps.

Today, I disabled my FB account for the summer. I will be back in a few months. I need to succeed at my comprehensive exam. The pandemic (and the isolation that comes with it), the recent news event, and my love situation makes it soooo hard to focus on anything.

I am seeing someone. Someone I knew for four years. He made a love declaration to me. He had been waiting for me for four years. I said yes. Falling in love during the pandemic was totally unexpected and not within my plans. It's not official yet and I am scared. He's scared too. But according to our closest friends, we're experiencing a beautiful story that has a lot of depth, respect and love. Something very strong and rare. I am going back to my hometown next week to see him again. This time as a potential lover, and not as a friend. And I am scared. Almost as if it was my first date or the first time I see him (although I've known him for four years and have seen him multiple times in the past years). I am both happy and scared.

I am tired. I know it won't change anything to the situation. I know it's hard for everyone. But I need to vent/rant. I live on my own, two hours away from my hometown. I had moved for my first year of university and had always planned to move back to my hometown afterwards. But because of COVID-19, I have not seen my family and friends in person since March. I am quite an independant woman, and it was okay at the beginning (the first two months). But now, I am fed up to be honest. It impacts my motivation re: my comprehensive exam as well. I have low energy and feel like I'm stuck between my four walls. I can't even do the things I enjoy doing on my own (going to music concerts, watch independant movies at the local movie theater, going to music concerts, etc.). I can't study at the local library or café. I'm at home all day long. All my activities entails going to the grocery store, talking walks with music, and watching some webinars. And cleaning up my appartement. That's it. I speak with my friends and family through Zoom, phonecalls, Messenger, texts daily. But it is not the same thing has having a real human being in front of you or to get a hug. Plus, to my surprise, I fell in love with a man that loves me back during the pandemic (we knew each other for multiple years). He made a love declaration to me and I've responded back positively to it. But he's in my hometown. We speak over the phone daily, but we cannot see or touch each other. Falling in love has impacted my level of concentration. It,s a bit better now, but I still feel like my head is up in the clouds. And I am notorious for how focused I am. But I just can't focus. I think travelling is now allowed between Canadian provinces. I am going to take a shot at taking the train next week to go back to my hometown. Because I am going crazy and feel bored.