arkel

chocolate fondue

I don't know if everyone will agree with this one, but I would advise: Don't apply to any "safety schools". Of course, you should apply to a wide range of schools, with some being more highly ranked than others. Yet, I think the term "safety school" has some negative connotations - you should only apply to schools that you would actually want to attend - those schools that are doing research you want to do, and that will allow you to achieve your life goals, whatever they might be. At the time I applied, I was really excited about all of my schools, and would have been happy at any of them. There were some that I was more excited about, but at the end of the day, I wouldn't have felt like I had lost out if I ended up attending any of them.

I think it also depends on where you are in your life, and whether you think that an extra year will significantly improve your application. If you're currently in undergrad, or don't have a lot of experience in your field, it might be a good idea to take some time off. In the fall of 2009, I was fully prepared to apply to grad school, but somewhere in October (when I was already going insane!) I decided to wait a year. It was a tough choice, and I had to suppress my strong "Type A" tendencies, but it was definitely a great decision: - My LORs improved, because in the year I got to know them much better and they had much more to say about me - I was more sure about my specific research interests, and I think this came through in my applications - I got a job in my field, which has led to wealth of other experiences - I had more time to put into my grad applications and interviews, because I wasn't working on assignments, my thesis, etc. If you think you might gain some similar benefits from taking the year off, it might be a good idea. Mind you, I didn't put myself through the entire process last year, and I can imagine that the decision would be extremely tough after having invested the time, money, and mental anguish in this process. I hope you hear the best news from the waitlists though!

Eeeek! I'm waiting to hear about a PGS M... looks like the letter should be coming tomorrow if I haven't received it today... How will I sleep tonight?!?

LJK, Thank you, these questions are all so helpful! I might not even have the answers to them right now, but your post has given me a lot to think about! It sounds like you're in a similar situation - Best of luck with your decision!

I've had the chance to explore my options, and now it's time to make a decision. I am considering 2 offers very seriously, but I am so, so lost, and I'm trying to hear as many perspectives as I can. If you're in a similar situation, feel free to post your dilemma here! School A - The School - medium-sized, Psych department is in the top 20-30 - The Supervisor - Seemed like a great person to work with - very low-key, accessible, helpful, easy to understand, friendly. Also, everyone I spoke with about him has said the most amazing things. He is very young and new to the department (less than a year), but he has made a great impression on everyone there, and is very well-intergrated socially and research-wise. I got the sense that he has a very bright future in the field. - The Department - Friendly, and lots of potential collaborators - I met with many on my visit, and they all seemed very open to working with me. Also, there did seem to be a lot of actual collaboration going on (everyone SAYS they're collaborative). - The Students: Down-to-Earth, excited about their work, and genuinely nice people. I have been really excited about this school since October when I discovered my POI's website. His research is a bit of a departure from my previous research experience (social cognitive neuroscience stuff, rather than straight-up cognitive), but I was immediately struck by how many amazing studies I could pursue using his innovative methodology. I know now (even if I was only partially aware at the time) that this has been my front-runner for a long time (I put the most time and energy into this application, I was always imagining myself going here, looking for housing here on craigslist, checking what the weather is like here, etc). I found out about my acceptance here first, and was content for about 3 weeks until I visited School B... School B - The School - Huge school, known internationally for many fields, Top 5 in Psychology. - The Supervisor - Also very friendly and accessible, although a bit more high-strung (at least from what I gathered in a 2-day interview weekend). Although he had already established himself at another school, he is new to School B. He does seem to be involved in a lot of different collaborations. When I asked the students, the typical response was "He seems nice, but I don't really know him that well, because he just started here". - The Department - massive, very collaborative, and filled with amazing, famous researchers that I thought I would only read about in text books - The Students - Also down-to-Earth, enthusiastic, and genuinely nice. I hadn't really given this school much thought until very recently when I visited. I thought I would just apply for the heck of it, and after visiting, I see they have so much to offer (financial resources, an amazing interdisciplinary research environment). The POI's past research is more similar to the stuff I've done before. When my POI here asked me about what kind of research I wanted to do, I talked about projects that very closely resembled the ones I wanted to do at School A, and he seemed really interested. I guess the big differences here are - research - although School B is open to doing the research from School A, would I be better off at School A where there is an entire lab devoted to these methods and theories? And also prestige... I found the thread on rankings very useful in this respect. I didn't think I cared too much about rankings, and I still don't - but I have seen that there is often a reason behind them, and I can't just cast aside this amazing opportunity without some serious thought. I'm trying not to think too much about location. I come from a cold climate, so I'm not too hard to please I keep being told that I really can't go wrong, and I realize that, but it doesn't make this choice any easier! Any feedback would be so helpful! Many thanks (and sorry for this beast of a post)!

A few suggestions... It's important to get a feel for what the supervisor is like from a student's perspective: - are they hands-on or hands-off in their advising style? - are they pleasant to work with (you might have to read between the lines for this one)? - are they accessible to their grad students (how often do they meet? Are they often away?)? - how much input do students have on their projects (eg. do they have input, or are they just given a project)? It's also really good to get a feel for the attitudes in the lab. You can ask them about their research, and see - do they seem excited about what they're doing? It's so important that people are enthusiastic about their work....being in a lab where everyone is just going through the motions can be detrimental to your own motivation and happiness. You can also ask them more practical questions about being in the program (courses, workload), as well as life in the surrounding area (is there lots to do? Is the stipend reasonable for the cost of living in the area?) Good luck with the interview!

Thanks! And congrats on your interview invites! I definitely think it's understandable to skip out on an interview for a bottom school. I guess in my situation I was not excited about it, but there was no logical reason for me not to be excited about it (great school, great fit, etc.). Probably my subconscious playing tricks on me

Hmmm.... well you sound pretty excited about School A! And I think that although it is difficult to disappoint your prospective schools, your decision should be based on how much you want them, and not the other way around. Also, something to keep in mind... Different people/departments might express themselves differently. Just because School A isn't being as obvious about it, it doesn't necessarily mean that they don't want you just as badly as School B! Good luck with your decision!

I just declined my first offer, and the POI sent me an incredibly nice email in reply. He asked which school I will be attending, and I would be happy to tell him...except that I haven't yet decided! I guess I can only respond with the truth, which is that I'm still deciding between 2-3 places, but this seems....awkward. I guess awkwardness is inevitable in this process, but I don't want it to seem like this school is totally below all of the other schools or anything - that's not the case at all. I just had to decide really quickly with this school because they were going to nominate me for a fellowship, and I didn't want to take away the opportunity from someone else who is actually going to end up there. Okay. I think I will probably just respond politely with the truth, and explain why I made the decision so quickly. Have you ever been in this situation? Would you recommend a different course of action? Thanks a bunch! And sorry to make a mountain of what is probably a molehill....

As an update.... Thanks in no small part to your excellent advice, I attended the late interview this weekend. I was still feeling kind of reluctant to go, but I tried to keep an open mind...and it ended up being really great! So great, in fact, that it will make my final decision much more difficult (if I am accepted here). Regardless of the possibility of extra decision stress, I'm glad I gave myself the opportunity to explore all of my options, and when I do decide, I will know that I had all of the information I could gather. Thank you again for putting everything in perspective! I hope all of your late interviews go well!

soft pretzel

I can totally empathize! I'm going through the same thing right now. I received an offer today, and instead of happiness I felt a sense of dread because I knew I would have to reject them in the end. In terms of the people and environment, I know I could be happy at all of the places I've visited. All of the POIs have been genuinely nice, and really seemed to care that I choose the school that's best for me... So I guess I can frame my declining letters in terms of research fit. But still....really sad. On the other hand...it's a really good problem to have, and I have to keep reminding myself that it's better to have too many offers than too few.... @ newms - Thanks - it's definitely good to keep in mind that this happens all the time, and not to presume that an advisor will be "devastated" if I decline their offer.

I agree with the other postings - You should definitely attend these events, but you should never feel pressured to drink. Although a lot of people do drink at these events, it would be strange (and possibly a red flag) if you were pressured to drink, or made to feel excluded. I do drink on occasion, but at some of my interviews I chose not to, simply because I was too tired. Nobody noticed or cared that I wasn't drinking. At all of the events on school premises (eg. department happy hours) there were always lots of non-alcoholic options.

Thanks, Gunner, Henry, and nescafe! That does help a lot! My problems here are with a big national bank as well, and it makes a lot of sense to look into local credit unions.