Here's a short story for yinz:
A guy tried to mug me for my bike on the front steps of my apartment last night. Guy kept saying he'd break my fingers if I didn't let go of it, but with some effort I fought him off and ran inside, slamming the door behind me. Got upstairs and into my room, where I then received an email from Vanderbilt. 0a/2r/5p. All of a sudden flooded with the feeling of, "Aw heck, come back and take the bike. What do I care?"
Unbroken fingers crossed for the rest of them, though—best of luck to everyone!