Anxiety101

Officially accepted to UCSD! This year has been very tough. Applied to almost 18 schools and ALL but 3 were rejections. However, where there is a will... there is a way.
I am an international student so this process was that much more of a whirlwind. I am glad that I can finally breathe and this forum has been very helpful. Good luck to us all and if anyone will be committing to UCSD as well, message me!

I completely understand where you are coming from. You start to feel worthless and think back to what you did wrong. This exact situation happened with Duke just two weeks ago and I was devastated.
However, this year was probably the hardest for us and they often have to prioritize funding towards American students and it is nothing we can control, especially during times like this. Please keep your head up, apply for research positions and continue pushing forward. Everyone I know who took a two year gap (including myself) do not regret it one bit. Everything happens for a reason and I truly believe there is something good coming soon for you.

Not sure if this is consolation but you had a solid shot and got an interview at a top program as an international student in the toughest application cycle since the Great Recession. I've seen that UCSD in particular (because they are a state school) will only take 0-2 international students per cohort. You're probably one of less than 1% of international students that were taken to interview! Every candidate is great so I don't think these professors were lying to you but maybe you weren't as good a fit as another student and that's fine; it's not a referendum on your abilities. Take this as an opportunity to learn to work through a rejection because neuroscience is all about rejections whether that's getting into grad school, getting a paper accepted, getting the NRSA, getting a postdoc, getting a K99/R00, getting a faculty position, getting a foundation grant, getting an R01, getting tenure etc etc. 
I've helped some of my international friends and they have to be twice as good as U.S. citizens and that's not fair to them; I wish it were different (I am a U.S. citizen). However, I will say that by having to work twice as hard, international students end up being twice as good. They end up being the stars of their cohort and star neuroscientists generally speaking. Why do you think international students are only around 10% of PhD students in neuro but end up being maybe 20% of faculty? You might fret not being at a place like UCSD but it's not the school that matters, it's how productive you are and the quality of your research. No matter where you land, if you do good work, you'll be able to postdoc in whatever big name lab you want. At that stage, the advantages of being international vs. citizen disappear because funding opportunities at that level are open to all. The F99/R00 and R01 only require a visa! You'll be that much better at that stage than American citizens because you've had to learn how to work harder and face tough rejections. 

Officially accepted to UCSD! This year has been very tough. Applied to almost 18 schools and ALL but 3 were rejections. However, where there is a will... there is a way.
I am an international student so this process was that much more of a whirlwind. I am glad that I can finally breathe and this forum has been very helpful. Good luck to us all and if anyone will be committing to UCSD as well, message me!

Officially accepted to UCSD! This year has been very tough. Applied to almost 18 schools and ALL but 3 were rejections. However, where there is a will... there is a way.
I am an international student so this process was that much more of a whirlwind. I am glad that I can finally breathe and this forum has been very helpful. Good luck to us all and if anyone will be committing to UCSD as well, message me!

Officially accepted to UCSD! This year has been very tough. Applied to almost 18 schools and ALL but 3 were rejections. However, where there is a will... there is a way.
I am an international student so this process was that much more of a whirlwind. I am glad that I can finally breathe and this forum has been very helpful. Good luck to us all and if anyone will be committing to UCSD as well, message me!