To divinity and beyond

So long as you're okay with not landing any job in academia I support your decision fully! It's great that you have pastoral interests (if only I believed in god/s), since such training will not be entirely for naught, should my prognostication come true! As for those schools' reputation, I have never even heard of Beeson, so that may mean something; I had to google TEDS, but I am vaguely familiar with Trinity; I have heard of GC over the years and have met numerous people who did an M* there who later did doctoral programs at R1s (I can think of one now with a Harvard ThD). As you may have heard, schools like GC are known for pushing languages hard on their students and thus R1 departments (esp. faculty in biblical studies) like them. On the other hand, as I have also learned from first hand experience, language courses at Protestant seminaries seem to underprepare students learning languages when compared to students who took the same courses at secular or Catholic seminaries. The reason, I think, is pretty simple: at the Protestant schools, there is usually a decent theological component to every course, including languages, while that component is either missing (secular schools) or minimal (Catholic) in non-Prot. language classes. In practice that means spending less time memorizing/studying verbs, syntax, etc. Not only that but secular programs almost always have better trained students in Greek and Latin, since the focus is not so hilariously narrow (i.e. studying NT Greek). So I suppose if you get a chance/have the option, always take the non-seminary language course. Learning those languages and learning them well will be the biggest challenge of getting into an R1 (note I am speaking about NT and related fields and that I am speaking as an ancient historian). Happy evening!

Given those two options, Fuller easily wins, at least in my opinion (secular person with a PhD from Duke Religion), though it doesn't really have a strong reputation. Fuller is one of those schools that people from R1 departments recognize as acceptable, but not great. On the other hand, you may not care much about getting into an R1 doctoral program, in which case Fuller is probably good if not excellent. Having a PhD from one of the 'excellent' schools, I can say that it doesn't seem to matter much if your plan is academia. You already know the job market is horrid, but it's worth repeating: the job market is horrid. Even if you graduate from an R1, let alone an R2-3, you are not likely to get a full-time, tenure-track job, PERIOD. I would normally dissuade you from this path outright, but since money is not an issue I say why the heck not. Just know that you probably won't have the option of staying in academia, at least in the traditional sense. You're also interested in the most overpopulated fields. I know at least a dozen PhD holders from R1s in those fields without jobs and I know many more who are limping by in adjunct hell. And I know some who finally, after a few years limping by, threw in the towel and changed careers entirely. I would encourage you to explore other interests or if possible study religion/theology in the context of something that will actually get you a job nowadays (blended with programming, e.g.). I remember being at your stage about 15 years ago. I remember the feeling, the excitement, the romanticism; it's intoxicating. I miss that. In some ways this field, the academic study of religion, is exactly how I imagined it; but mostly it's quite different. Coursework is selfish, the ins and outs, the day to day of academia is selfless, but oddly to succeed also usually means sabotaging your personal life. Good luck, friend!

I appreciate your support and also your answers. It does seem like languages are king when it comes down to it. I will strive to apply what you have told me. Thank you @sacklunch . Best to you. If your training has been for naught, may that be changed. If it has not, may it never.