bedalia

I wouldn't bother learning to drive just to go between home and campus because your uWaterloo student card serves as a year-round free bus pass (grad students pay a manditory, subsidized fee for it each term). Check out www.grt.ca for the bus routes and schedules. If you've already rented a place to live, check out how convenient it would be to take the bus, and if you haven't yet rented, keep the bus routes in mind when selecting a place. Bikes are also great! Some people ride year-round, using an old bike through the winter months. Waterloo has some bike lanes, especially around the universities.

Passive-aggressive is *never* a constructive or mature way to go. Be professional and mature, and speak directly to the other grad student about your concerns. Keep written records (emails, meeting minutes, etc.), if possible, in case it does eventually become necessary to speak to someone with more seniority/authority. But, really, the two of you are colleagues and grown-ups; surely you can work it out without mind-games and controlling and disfunctional behaviour that is considered a personality disorder.

I haven't had a car through undergrad and my Master's and will not be buying one during my PhD. I'm 39 and have two teenage daughters. We walk, take the bus, and, in the summer (we get snow in the winter), ride our bikes. Yes, there have been times I missed having a car, but I'm actually proud not to own one. Resist the culture of car-dependency and encourage more sustainable urban planning! (From today's NY Times, "Europe Stifles Drivers in Favor of Mass Transit and Walking" - http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/27/science/earth/27traffic.html?_r=1&nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha2) Not owning a car is much cheaper (a car costs money even sitting in the driveway, let alone the rising cost of fuel, repairs and insurance; plus not having a car reduces those impulse outtings or trips to the store) and much better for the environment and for me - more exercise! Even with a mediocre public transit system where I live and two kids to transport and run errands for, I just can't justify the expense of a car. It may be less convenient and take a bit more planning at times, but for me it's worth the savings. I can put the money to better use elsewhere. Having said that, I'm not at all familiar with Nashville, and only you can decide how much running around you will need to do and how much of it can be done on foot or bike or by bus. I agree with consulting current students in your program. If you are concerned about the bulk and weight of groceries, shop for bulky and heavy things only once every other week or once a month (stock up!) and splurge on a taxi to get home. Still cheaper than owning a car. Coordinate with your roommate and you can split the cost of the taxi.

While I agree with Rob that the problem with depression and anxiety is that they prevent you from doing what you need to do to get better (as the OP said, that funk takes over your life), I have to disagree with most of his post. Seeing a counsellor is NOT "cheating." It IS consulting a professional who is trained to help you. A counsellor can help you to determine what needs to be done to help you get better, whether that's talking things over (never underestimate the value of having someone listen to you, and often it is easier to be open and honest with a paid professional than with family or friends who bring emotional attachments and possibly judgements to the discussion) or seeking medical treatment (this can be an important part of treatment for some people and shouldn't be discouraged out of hand). We don't expect somone who has had a heart attack to snap out of it and will themselves better, do we? Rather, a medical professional assesses them and prescribes a course of action which can include medication, surgery, change of diet, exercise and even counselling, all tailored according to each patient's needs. Similarly, someone who is experiencing a mental health condition CAN'T just stop feeling sorry for his or herself, Mental illness (including PTSD) is a physical condition, not a mood or a habit. It needs to be treated as such by a professional who can help tailor a treatment plan according to each patient's needs. And you know what else? Forget about helping others, just for now. Right now you need to focus on YOU and getting YOU better. Priority #1.

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS!!! You are not making something out of nothing. Something about this man is making you feel uncomfortable, and that is not "nothing". As women, we are too often taught to dismiss our instincts and not to "rock the boat" or let anyone be upset with us. Well, guess what? You don't owe this man anything; there is no need to put his feelings ahead of your own! Even if he's just looking for friendship, and you tell him you aren't interested, so what if his feelings are hurt or he thinks you are rude? Not the end of the world. But it seems that you sense something else is going on; you owe it to yourself to take this seriously and take steps to protect your personal safety. I agree with the suggestions that you speak to someone about this, someone you trust to give you sound advice and not just dismiss your impression as a misreading or an overreaction. Together you can develop a strategy for dealing with this man appropriately. You can plan exactly how you will react the next time you see him, "script" and everything. You can determine whether it is necessary to report his behaviour to someone, or what would make it necessary to report. If, God forbid, things should escalate, you will want an ally who knows what's been going on and a plan for the next steps to be taken. Even if he leaves you alone, it's comforting to have support in your corner.