HyacinthMacaw

You're very welcome! I am very sorry that your success during your master's program came at such a high emotional cost. Perhaps you can take comfort in knowing that concerns about our competence are nearly universal and probably intensified in this line of work. Time's on our side, though, so I think we can afford to have faith in our future as long as we don't squander our opportunities--and, I suppose, as long as we understand that action, not thought, bridges the distance between dreams and reality. Wishing you (and anyone else afflicted by the noxious combination of self-doubt and perfectionism) all the best.

Hola! Nice to see a feathered friend out on these parts. Hard to type with this beak, right? This touch screen on my iPad doesn't make it any easier. I mean, I'm pecking and dragging, but it won't zoom in! Oh well, I guess I'm just going to perch on this branch here and check my stocks in Amazon, maybe break out my Kindle. I've been reading The Jungle Book. Hakuna matata! Oh, wait, wrong movie. Oops, got to preen now, will "fly" by this forum later!

"Hello, Professor, do you think we could schedule a lab meeting after dinner--in your bedroom?" "Sure, just let me change into my pajamas." [undresses at dinner table, puts on Snuggie] I'm all for attenuating hierarchies, but this would just be going too far for me! But hey, if it works for some people, all the power to them. I can't imagine that level of accommodation is at all common, though. Good luck on finding housing!

It's probably best to more heavily consider how attending these programs will facilitate your pursuit of your academic/professional goals, i.e. what you expect to get out of them. That said, quality of life is an important criterion for promoting your happiness. I commute to NYU regularly. The area is vibrant but quite expensive. I also volunteered at Columbia; there seemed to be less outlets to divert yourself there, and it is nearly as expensive. Expect overpriced housing and food in New York, i.e. paying a lot for a little. You'll have to get used to negotiating small spaces (shopping carts are smaller, grocery aisles are narrower, etc.) and cramming yourself into a subway car. Expect noise, endless crowds, and strange odors daily. It's really up to you--are you willing to put up with all those urban stressors? Wishing you all the best.

With Louisville, Purdue, and Notre Dame all toast before the round of 16, the only teams standing in Kansas' way to the Final Four is 12th-seeded Richmond and 11th-seeded VCU or 10th-seeded Florida State. After defeating #16 and #9 teams, talk about a cakewalk! But all bets are off at this point because honestly this Southwest bracket has defied logic.

Thanks for the info, folks! This will make the transition to life in Lawrence a lot easier. I'm hoping to move there as soon as my department allows it! A quick survey--where can I get the best... Pizza and calzones? (Hey, I live close to New York.) Fresh produce? (I've heard the farmer's markets aren't there in the winter.) Cheesecake and cannolis? Burritos? (I spent 4 years in Los Angeles.) Ice cream? Falafel and gyro? Meat substitutes for purchase, e.g. tofu, mycoprotein, quinoa, etc.? I tried the quinoa burger at Dempsey's. It was the best burger I ever had, and it wasn't even meat. I would love to try replicating it at home. Also, does any grocery sell pizza dough? I just snagged a pizza oven (with a real pizza stone!) for $5 at the thrift store and would relish the opportunity to try it out in Lawrence. Speaking of which, is there a thrift store around? Finally, is there a 24-hour grocery in Lawrence? I am hoping I can find a comfortable place to live that's close to a middle-of-the-road (i.e., not expensive like Whole Foods and such) grocery, preferably one open 24/7. These are not critical issues, of course, but still useful info for anyone perusing this thread. Thanks so much! All the best!

I agree with a lot of the above points, and I would add this: Perhaps the healthiest thing one can do, and one way to practice self-compassion, is acknowledge that you are only just beginning your career. No one expects you to have published a whole slew of papers to advance the next trendy theory in psychology. You shouldn't expect the same of yourself, either. Recognize your capacity to grow, and work towards your goals without berating yourself. What would you say of the high school freshman who punishes himself for not completing enough Advanced Placement courses? Of the college student who chastises herself for not being promoted to lab manager after only her first year of study? Trust that you have the potential to succeed, however defined, and set SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic (and Relevant) and Time-Sensitive. (I'm sorry to have put on my clinical psych hat for a moment.) The best way to build confidence in your potential, of course, is by achieving such goals, but it starts with having faith in the future rather than imposing corrosive expectations on yourself. So we learn, we grow. That's how life goes. Developmental psychologists would be out of a job if human beings achieved everything they each wanted by age 10. Have confidence in your potential to grow and mature. The harder thing to fathom, however, might be the inevitability of failure. We'll fall short at some point. But publishing that paper (or whatever you might expect of yourself at this point) would not have guaranteed your happiness just as a rejected or incomplete manuscript does not ensure your misery. Success can lead to happiness, but I believe that you need happiness first in order to succeed. Being kind to yourself is a good place to start. Check out this article if you're interested: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2005/dec/19/uknews

Yeah, I must have been drinking the 'Cuse Kool-Aid (or orange juice, if you know what I mean) to think that they could make it to the finals. Oh well!

To the person who inquired about UT Arlington's social psychology program on the results page, please feel free to PM me since I have also applied there. It has been a few weeks since I've heard from them. All the best.

I hear you! I knew it would be a sad day for my bracket, and I think the suffering will continue tomorrow. . I had Belmont making a run to the round of 16. And so much for Utah State upsetting K-State. I guess I just have to hope that Oakland pulls it off against Texas tomorrow, though enough upsets have already occurred that that seems like too much to hope for. And oh, note to Kansas and Syracuse: please don't screw up. I have you both in the finals.

I second that! Congrats and all the best at Michigan!

Way to go, Morehead State! Didn't see that coming.

I would hope that about the Jayhawks! I could see K-State going to the Sweet 16 if they can get by Utah State and Belmont/Wisconsin. Beating Pitt would be a tall order, though. I have San Diego beating UConn in the Sweet 16 but maybe that should be the other way around--if the Huskies' Big East run was any indication of success in the tourney.

That's really interesting, and I think that shows a lot of gumption to ask seven different people for letters of reference! Re: the GRE, I've read that 1200 is a good benchmark. Raising your score from 1100 to 1200 will probably pay more dividends than raising your score from 1400 to 1500. The definition of a score that is "good enough" to warrant you further consideration varies from program to program, but I can't imagine that a score of 1200 will disqualify you from any program provided your other credentials, including fit, are extraordinary. How do you all feel about GRE prep courses? That is probably a common concern. I did invest in a Kaplan classroom course because I felt it would provide me the impetus to study; I would not have studied as hard on my own. That said, I found the classroom lectures less helpful than the print and online course materials. Having access to tons of tutorials, exercises, and practice exams meant that I prepared myself pretty much as best I could. There are options to purchase only the print and online materials without classroom lectures, and I would recommend these if would like to invest in a prep course but don't have the money for a complete module of 9 classroom lectures. I was unemployed at the time I started studying for the GRE (and am still unemployed), so I was concerned about ponying up the full $1200. I reasoned, however, that the GRE was probably going to be the most important exam I'll ever have to take. It therefore makes sense to spare no expense when preparing for this exam, or at least it makes sense to spend what money you have wisely. I'm sure there are lots of people who have done very well without prep courses, and all the power to them. I needed the prep course, and I was happy that I invested in one.

I'll do as best I can to avoid wading into a minefield here--but were I to raise a daughter, I would not wish for her to feel that she must sexualize herself at all times for the titillation of male peers. There is something to be said about ensuring that women are not penalized disproportionately relative to men for "dressing down" on certain occasions since "dressing down" (i.e. dressing for comfort) seems to violate certain expectations about how women are supposed to present themselves. If there is pressure on women to doll themselves up, I would try to relieve that pressure (assuring women that it's OK do dress for comfort) rather than exert similar pressure on men to dress to impress. Bottom line--we can't enforce these sorts of double standards where it's less reprehensible for a man to dress down than for a woman to dress down. If women and men dress as they like within reason (and without having to respond to gender-based expectations), chances are we will all be happy and get along. In a broad sense, it's probably best to reserve our judgments of others as much as possible. So even if I choose to apply cologne most days, I won't impose that expectation on any other man, and I certainly won't expect a woman to apply perfume just because she's a woman and must look professional, lest I suffer the terrible fate of meeting a woman without makeup. That's one plausible step towards equality, I guess.

Hey college sports fans! I didn't see a thread on the upcoming tournament, so I figured I would start one. Granted, there is a lot of grief swelling from all parts of the world right now, and I am hoping this is just a momentary diversion as we acknowledge our positions of relative privilege (and then go about the business of contributing to a better society, however imagined). So honestly I mean no disrespect to anyone afflicted by recent tragedies in starting this thread. I've got Syracuse, San Diego, Kansas, and Pitt in my Final Four, with Kansas beating Syracuse in the final. Of course, I have to swear my allegiance to Kansas because they're the ones who have offered me a great fellowship to study there. I'm also a very poorly qualified prognosticator (I couldn't make a layup for my life), so please forgive the Ohio State and Duke snubs. Upsets? How about Belmont over Wisconsin, Oakland over Texas, and USC over VCU and Georgetown? Utah State over Kansas State, anyone? How will the absences of key players impact the tourney runs of BYU and and St. John's? Or will Gonzaga beat St. John's in the first round, preventing a BYU-St. John's matchup in the third round (what used to be called the second round)? Likewise, can Wofford beat BYU? KU has a tough road to the FF, so I won't be surprised if any of you all have Louisville, Notre Dame, or Purdue instead. What can I say, I've got a thing for blue birds (hence my avatar and username). I hope this is a useful forum to exchange picks and express jubilation or frustration come tourney time! All the best to everyone!

Have you visited Lawrence? I did and absolutely loved it. It has everything you could possibly want, yet nothing in excess. That is a relief since I commute to NYC regularly and loathe the crowds, stench, and noise of New York (not to mention the astronomical prices for food). So I look forward to the change in scenery as well. Check out the Lawrence thread in the City Guide forum for info about housing, shops, restaurants, etc. in Lawrence. It's just a lovely place to be a doctoral student, I think. I've been told that two types of freedom exist, and you get both in Lawrence: "Freedom from" (urban stressors), and just enough "freedom to" (divert yourself). Indeed, I've grown so enamored with KU and Lawrence that I anticipate accepting their offer. I picked them in my NCAA bracket, too!

Hello bamba, I'm so sorry to hear that you have been waitlisted at all the programs to which you've applied--that must be terribly nerve-wracking and probably prolongs your anxiety. Let's hope that a program recognizes your excellent credentials and extends you an offer of admission. I've written on the psych forum before about employment at community colleges with an MA degree. Here's what I said verbatim: "Master's degrees are sufficient to apply for posts at community colleges, though doctoral degrees render one more attractive in a competitive job market. This article might give you a better idea of what it's like to be a tenured professor at a community college: http://chronicle.com...a-Bad-Gig/45224 Salary information is here: http://www.cupahr.or...ExecSummary.pdf I've heard that salaries at community colleges in wealthy suburbs (e.g., Nassau County near NYC) can meet or exceed those at some four-year public colleges. Hope that helps!"

Thanks so much for the update on Penn State. Yes, April 15th is only a month away. All the best on your interview!

Re: Penn State, have they invited students to interview already? It was said earlier on this thread that interviews would be March 21st. I just find this year's decision timeline odd since last year decisions were sent out by March 1st, and students who were offered admission found out by late February. Only one entry exists on the results page for this application cycle, and that comes from someone who emailed his or her POI. I'm particularly excited at the prospect of working with my POI since she has stepped down from her post at JPSP and will have more time to mentor students. So I'm very eager to hear back from them!

Hey folks, So I thought I could start a psych-specific poll and thread on what motivates us to pursue our goals. I have often felt overwhelmed by the specter and indeed the certainty of failure in this line of work. That failure in science is generative, at least romantically speaking--that is the only thing that reassures me. I'll be the first to confess that succumbing to self-reproach (or whatever doubts exist about the rewards of academia) has tempted me many, many times. After all, the hierarchical organization of academia and its high-strung denizens terrify me. I am egalitarian and communal. The truth is, I'm about to embark on a career that I would not wish for my children. Yet, for all my questions about my competence, the depletion of my self-worth, and the pessimism that I can grow into the man I envision, a hero, I'm still going. As lonely and as painful as this career path may become, I have to hope that this is the way to mature into someone I can love (and that someone else can love). Restoring pride in my existence starts now. I have zero confidence in my abilities, my future, and my contributions to those whom I love and to the broader society. I am unlikely to succeed in this field. But I can at least try and give it everything I've got. In the end--no matter how spectacular my failure, how horribly I've embarrassed myself, how much I despise myself--I can lay claim to a life of honest hardship that bestowed profound wisdom. So what inspires the better angels within you to sing? What makes you think that it's all worth it?

Same here! I have not been at all fortunate enough to field many offers, but I knew from the start that I could fit in one particular program like a glove. I recognized the opportunity before applying to collaborate with and extend the work of multiple faculty there. Lo and behold, they generously offered me admission to their program. Only when I visited the campus did I come to appreciate how much I could really benefit from the social support structure, too, and could therefore easily build rapport. So I realized I fit in this department on multiple levels: the work I wanted to do interested several faculty, and I could become very comfortable with the faculty and other grad students as colleagues. So yes, I agree that we have an intuition from the outset about what programs are right for us, though of course this hinges on the adcoms' decisions. Had I been denied admission from this program, I would of course have been disappointed, but chances are I would have found another program (or another career) with which I could be just as happy. Nevertheless, a comfortable fit in a department makes life a lot easier.

I was impressed by the number of independent/mom-and-pop stores in Lawrence. I could hardly spot any chain stores or restaurants in the downtown core, keeping the somewhat quirky, progressive character of the area intact. You can still shop at Walmart or Target if you would like; both of these big-box stores have locations in Lawrence, albeit far from campus or downtown. So everyone is satisfied. Forgive me for asking, however, can someone please discuss the danger of tornadoes? I have never lived in the Midwest before, and my stereotype of Kansas is, well, Dorothy and Toto getting swooped up in a vortex. Another poster mentioned hail--are there hail storms often? And if there is a tornado warning, is there anything I can do besides pray?

Hey folks, I hope everyone is doing OK. I just thought it would be a good idea to create this resource for future cohorts. Feel free to chime in with wisdom, indignation, or both. I'll take the liberty of getting the ball rolling by offering the following advice: 1. Get used to rejection. This is the law in academia. 2. Know beforehand whether your POI is accepting students. It would be a waste of money and time to apply to work with a POI who wasn't mentoring any students. 3. Practice self-compassion. Self-criticism achieves nothing in the long run. 4. Understand that your success probably matters less on where you go than on who you are. Ultimately, your passion, creativity, perseverance, originality and cogency of your ideas, technical proficiency, body of knowledge, and rapport with colleagues will play a larger role in your success than simply the program you attend. 5. Make sure that you have a good reason for applying to a program--as well as a good reason for not applying to one. There are lots of excellent programs that I bypassed for relatively trifling reasons. 6. Be patient! 7. Yes, fit (defined as compatibility of research interests) predicts success during the admissions process far better than generic excellence. 8. The admissions process is very capricious. Fit, need for students, faculty priority, and funding availability all govern admissions decisions. Recite the serenity prayer if it works for you. That's it for now. Feel free to disagree. Wishing everyone all the best.

Yes! Just returned from a 3-day, 2-night trip to meet with profs and grad students in the social psychology program. I loved it! What would you like to know? (Granted, I was only a visitor.)