FaithM

I don't know anyone who's been in this position before, so I thought I'd reach out to the interwebz to see if anyone out there has an answer. Back in February, I was accepted into a top-tier school in my program (English Ph.D.). It just so happens that I had a baby just a couple of months earlier and while I was ecstatic, my husband just couldn't wrap his brain around the idea of quitting his job and moving with a brand new baby and a mortgage and two ill-trained dogs. The school doesn't offer deferments, but said I could reapply in the fall. I was forced to decline the offer (which was literally a once-in-a-lifetime shot, complete with a super massive fellowship), and now I'm wondering what the chances of being readmitted are. Has anyone else experienced this? What are the chances that lightning will strike twice? Should I just come to grips with the reality that I just threw my career out the window?

Yeah, I think the pressure is even worse for second-timers because now it's like--if you don't get accepted this time, it's just never going to happen. I just got my fourth rejection and I'm sooo completely devastated, because at this point I have no idea what my next move is. Last time I just decided to crack down on beefing up my vita by getting an MA at a renowned school and publishing publishing publishing. Now I'm stumped. I hope you get into a great school with a big fat fellowship!

We'll get through this. I applied to five schools and have been rejected by three so far. I think what really sucks is how much time, energy, and money we have to put into these applications. Applying to five schools this year cost me a good $1000, which is what I spent the first time around--with rejections from all seven of the schools to which I applied. After spending the last 3-6 months burying yourself in applications, LORs, SOPs, portfolio/writing samples, etc., getting rejected is enough to suck the air out of your lungs. Is this your first time applying?

Goodness, let's see. Best-case scenario: I get into Davis with full funding, my boss is cool with me working part time for the next year until I tire of her shenanigans and quit, my fiance and I buy a house and start a beekeeping farm in our backyard, my friends and family all accept my lame excuses for not going to stupid events because NOW I'm getting a Ph.D., and all the kids who made fun of me in junior high realize how truly awesome I really am. Worst-case scenario: I convince myself that a great remedy for bitterness, disappointment, and self-loathing is to get pregnant.

That's what I did, too, so I wasn't terribly shocked when Berkeley and Stanford rejected me two weeks after they made all their acceptance phone calls--bitter, but not shocked. And then there's Davis. Acceptance phone calls for the English PhD program at Davis span the whole month of February--and sometimes into March. A friend of mine who's a second-year PhD student at Davis didn't get his phone call until the first week of March--five weeks after everyone else got their calls. So I'm torn between giving up on Davis and clutching to my little shriveled strand of hope that maybe I'm one of the stragglers at the bottom of the pile...

What a nice thing to say! You're awesome!

Wow, I'm so glad to know I'm not the only one feeling like the whole English academic community is collectively shitting on me right now. This is my second round of applications, and this year I was 100% certain that I would get into a program. I'm not kidding--after the first round of rejections in 2008, I spent the last two years busting my ass to get a master's with a high grad GPA, write two books, publish short stories, enter/win competitions, get teaching experience, and on and on and on. And BAM--three rejections out of five apps so far. And now I'm at the end of my rope--if I can't get in with all of that, then it's just ME they don't want (it's impossible not to take it personally). The worst part is that I know another guy from my undergrad school who's applying to the same program I am, and I swear to God, if he gets in and I don't, I'm gonna cut someone. So I'm kind of wondering--who IS getting into these programs and what's so great about those guys?? Why not ME?!

I work from home, so I have my email and phone ready to go around the clock. I keep finding myself periodically checking my phone to see if it rang silently, or maybe it rang while I was in the bathroom, or pouring a glass of water so I didn't hear the ring. The other day I was on the treadmill and I got a call while I was listening to my iPod, and I had a little panic attack--I didn't want to answer a possible call from a professor all out-of-breath and creepy sounding, so I let it go to voicemail. Flash foward five minutes: turns out it was a conference call that I had scheduled and completely forgotten about. Oops.

Oh my God, I'm so glad I'm not the only one gorging right now. I checked the results page before going an an all-you-can-eat buffet yesterday. Bad idea.

Keymash, I think that was--by leaps and bounds--the most helpful advice I've gotten from anyone--EVER--but especially re: the Ph.D. application process. Thank you!!

I applied to five schools and have been rejected by three so far. The prognosis is not looking good, and this is my second time around. After the first round of rejections two years ago, I figured it was my undergrad GPA (3.5), so I struck out on my own for a bit. I put my five-year relationship on hold, left my house, family, friends, and dogs, and moved to New York to get a Master's at NYU. During that time, I wrote two books, published some short stories, and got a job as a journalist. I ASSUMED that two books and an MA from NYU plus a 3.9 grad GPA would make me a slightly more desirable candidate, but alas... So now I'm in the "what am I gonna do if this doesn't pan out" stage. Keep working? "Settle down"? Go for another Master's? Try lower tier schools next time around? I'm kind of thinking that if I can't get into second-tier schools with two books and an advanced degree under my belt, it's just not going to happen...ever. And I don't think I can afford to keep collecting Master's degrees. Ugh...I feel like such a tool. I'm curious to know what other people are thinking. What are your backup plans? Wallow in self-pity for a while and then get a job? Move? Go for a master's? Have a baby? Get a goldfish?

I like the "Charles in Charge" idea, but personally I would go the "Saved by the Bell" route... I think a solid hug is the best course of action, but after being rejected from my top choice, I can tell you what DOESN'T help: "It wasn't meant to be." "God has a plan." (snarl) "You think YOU have it bad? I didn't get into blah blah blah" (I don't care! We're not talking about you right now, we're talking about ME!) "Time to start looking for a job." "It wouldn't have worked out anyway. Why don't you just have a baby?" (Sidenote: My mother has said all of those things to me.)

I hate multiple acceptance people!!