I am 3 years into my 5 year PhD program in anthropology, and there are three people in my cohort who all started our PhD degrees at the same time. One member of my cohort is basically MIA, while the other member, for some reason that I do not 100% understand, has been treating me maliciously since day 1 of the program. This cohort member has been at this same university from undergrad and now through PhD, while I only arrived at the university three years ago, to pursue my PhD. The two of us, along with our advisor and the visiting post-doc currently in our lab, are researching the same field site every summer, and spend quite a bit of time in the lab together during the academic year, although we work separately in the lab because our dissertation topics do not overlap, AT ALL.
This cohort member ignores me completely when we are in the lab unless I ask her a question; yet, she talks to everyone else. The post-doc and this cohort member, who worked together on a project before I arrived to the university, pretend as if I don't exist when they have conversations in the lab. Only when this cohort member is not present will the post-doc speak to me, and is actually quite pleasant when he discuss things in her absence. She will only speak to me when necessary and when in the presence of other superiors or our advisor. Therefore, I've concluded that it is really only this one cohort member who is being so troublesome. (Other observers have agreed that she treats me quite maliciously.)
This situation has reached the point where every action she takes makes it seem to me like she's trying to alienate me from our team and/or our advisor. In the field in the summer, she completely ignores me during fieldwork and social events alike (even though we are both project supervisors). She's taken control over advertising for our lab and updates her research information but 'forgets' to update mine. She's arranged two lab- and project-related events this fall specifically on dates that she knew I would be away at conferences. She arranges other informal events with the post-doc and other individual students working in the lab without including me. In fact, she sometimes arranges these events in front of me. Based on the way that she treats me, I have no desire to ask to come along at this time.
I have tried to be friendly with this cohort member, from trying to discuss issues in our general field to talking about the weather or other trivial matters. However, I have only ever received terse responses from her (as if I insulted her by my simply being there); then, she immediately redirects her attention to the post-doc or to any other person in the lab/field. Does she see me as her inferior and/or competition (in that I'm a bit younger than her, have obtained a major funding award for my PhD, and have received degrees at quite reputable institutions prior to coming to this university)? Is she trying to win the favor of our advisor because, since my arrival, I've been taking some of his attention away from her? It seems to me that our advisor supports us equally and thinks of us as equals.
I feel that, as cohort members, discussions about our different topics could benefit the both of us. In fact, our exact field of research is so small that we will likely be seeing each other at conferences and workshops for the rest of our careers! We have the potential to help each other through our degrees and in the future, but for some reason, she does not seem open to this despite my friendly attempts.
I truly despise drama (as I believe our advisor does), and I really just want to get along with this cohort member and be able to have discussions/work with her. However, I am at a point where her actions are making so miserable that I'm considering trying to arrange to be away from the lab for the next two years, which would actually be detrimental to my research/dissertation. What should I do? Should I "suck it up" and "ride it out" for the next two years? Should I bring this issue up with my advisor?
Any advice is welcome. Thanks in advance!