abookbumble

I'll be starting in the English program this fall! It's a bit of a commute, but I may be living in Queens. Anyone else going to be living in the NYC area?

I'd lean on Berkeley a bit. Be respectful, of course, but they have to know they're being a little difficult-- even letting you know if you're in the "definitely maybe" pile as opposed to the "meh, probably not" could help you make a more informed decision. I was in a similar position because half of the schools I applied to are in the UK, and they have completely different timeframes than we do, but when I was in communication with them about my situation, they (1) were already aware of the April 15th deadline for US schools, and (2) were totally willing to work on trying to get me an answer a little bit sooner. Worst case scenario, the people at Berkeley refuse to give you any information, and you're not in a worse position than you are at the moment.

From what I've heard from friends who are currently enrolled in programs, and from where I'm standing personally, it's perfectly normal to have (serious) doubts, both before and during a program (and, according to some profs I love and respect, after, as well). It sounds like you're really going through a rough time, and that will definitely skew the way you're looking at everything in your life, including a graduate program. If you can-- and again, with the stuff you're going through, it probably won't be easy-- try and consider how you would feel if you didn't pursue the opportunity you have in front of you, say a year from now. Do you think this is just an overall feeling of dread due to a combination of personal issues and all the things we've been hearing about the job market, etc.? Or do you really believe this is something you don't love, aren't passionate about, and want to leave behind you? I don't think any of us is in this for the money, and we're generally driven by some kind of passion, but that doesn't mean we never doubt ourselves. As for the not-so-distant future and the job market, here's a quick story: I have a friend who wanted to be a high school art teacher. Someone told her she'd never find work, so she studied to be a math teacher instead. She's done some work, but now has to look for a new job, and has said that people have been telling her she'll never find work as a math teacher, and she's thinking of being an accountant. Does that sound like insanity to you? It does to me! (I told her so, too!) It's hard to get a job everywhere right now; if you step away from something that drives you just because you feel something else that you feel no passion for is "safe," that's when it's time to really start worrying. The future is definitely uncertain, but make sure you're not being scared off by talk, because that's all it is-- talk.

I agree with the general consensus. One thing: make sure you're very articulate in presenting your case, and that you're careful not to raise any tempers that don't need raising. It's a very difficult situation, and I definitely don't think you should be made to feel helpless. Still, you want to tread very cautiously-- office politics are as dangerous in academia as they are everywhere else. Best of luck-- I really hope things work out for you.

I also just got wait-listed by phone this afternoon. I'd thought it was all over a week ago, but I guess they're still contacting people.

Hmm...instinct says I wouldn't. I think stating outright, "Hey, guys, I'm striking out!" might do you more harm than good; however, if you tactfully say, "When do you usually notify those of us who are wait-listed? I'm considering all of my options," you might get a response that could be at least a little helpful. Keep in mind that wait-lists are there to fill in any spaces that open up from students who choose not to accept an offer, so the schools are waiting on those students, just as you are waiting on the schools. In the meantime, I'd poke around gradcafe and see if anyone that's been accepted at the schools you're wait-listed from seems to be declining offers-- personally, that would drive me even more insane, but I know sometimes it's just about keeping yourself busy and feeling like you're being proactive while you wait.

It sounds to me like the application process has pushed you towards a lot of self-doubt-- believe me, I get it! But don't lose hope just yet. From what you've described, you sound a lot like I did when I was first trying to put together my research proposal for the universities in the UK (swapping the Gothic with Modernism, of course)-- anxious, a little intimidated, and exhausted. I think when you've got work that you believe is really something-- you can discuss it at length, your evidence is clear to you and you're able to articulate it-- even if other people are scratching their heads, you shouldn't abandon it because you're feeling a little shaken from the process and/or from reactions you've encountered (I had a friend last year whose sample was basically under siege by many of the faculty members in our undergraduate English department; he made it into some incredible programs, and is fully funded and quite happy where he is). I'm not at all a Modernist-- I have two close friends that are, but that's the extent of my dabbling-- but it seems like you do have yourself pointed in a particular direction, and all you need to do now is get a little more specific. Be as demanding of your critics as I'm sure many of them have been of you-- when someone says, "what an insight," ask them what it is that you're doing that's so striking, and see if they have suggestions as to how you can expand on that; if someone says, "this isn't working," demand an explanation as to why, and, if you're given constructive remarks, see how you can use this criticism to polish your work. Remember, at some point we're all going to need to publish, so if you're doing something that hasn't really been done before, you may be an odd duck now, but when it comes time for the academic presses to choose who's doing new and exciting stuff, you'll be feeling a lot better about your "weirdness." As for the schools abroad, there are also degrees like the MPhil and the MLitt that might be worth some investigation on your part-- students who complete those programs are generally accepted into the DPhil/PhD at the same university, so that path would reflect an American PhD program (and, while I'm not sure if this is true across the board, as far as the nine overseas universities I've applied to are concerned, funding seems more available for the taught programs than the research programs-- not great news for me, but you might benefit from it). Best of luck! And hang in there!

I had an elderflower presse martini in a little cafe on the upper west side last fall-- brought me right back to Oxford.

Definitely-- I don't know how you've managed without! As far as I'm concerned, my thesis won't go anywhere without some chianti or malbec helping it along. (I've found the same to be true of writing papers, grading papers, and, of course, the application process as a whole.)

Has anyone even had an official transcript requested from Penn yet? That's what's making me nervous...

If it makes you feel better, my thesis binder has aggressively bitten my foot multiple times. Really-- every time I wake up to pee in the middle of the night, it is inevitably what I trip over on my way to the bathroom. Well, I either trip on the binder or the latest wine bottle I've emptied, drinking over the fact that I keep procrastinating instead of writing my thesis.

I've heard that, too, but I also think you should weigh things based on what you're going for. For example, I'm looking to study the Gothic, which is much, much more popular overseas than it is here (in the UK, Germany, Australia and India). While some of the schools I've applied to in the US offer full funding packages (Stanford, Columbia), they don't have many faculty members in my field of interest. U Arizona has a major Gothicist on staff, but if I go there, I'll have to fund myself, because they don't really offer money. Over in the UK, two of the programs I've applied to have some very well-known Gothicists as faculty members. While funding isn't guaranteed, I can at least compete for it, which is more than I can do with Arizona, and I'll have an opportunity to network with some pretty big names in my field. Again, this is my situation, and it'll be different for everyone, but it's something to consider.

Osodulce, that sucks. I'm really upset for you. I got two rejections within a week of each other (one of which came on Valentine's day-- c'mon, really?), and I thought that sucked, but this is awful. These schools really need to communicate with one another so that no one gets such a downpour of misery. Hang in there!

All really good points, and definitely things I've had to consider on this, shall we say, "journey." The three-year period is more convenient for me, albeit intimidating because of the immediate dive into research, but it's something I'm excited about because I know exactly what I'd like to work on in my research. I'll tailor what I said and add that this is not something that's possible for those coming directly out of their BA, because these programs required a Master's-level degree as well, but for those of you who have a clear and specific idea of what you want to study, these programs may be an option for you. As for funding, well, I'd say we're all in a pretty crap situation, but there are scholarships/studentships available, some with deadlines that aren't so immediate (I have until July for one of the programs I've applied to), and if you're hopeful enough to apply for a program, why not apply for funding as well? (One other aspect of applying for programs in the UK is that more than half of the schools I applied to did not ask for GREs or an application fee, so it was much cheaper to apply there.)

Hey all, I've actually been applying to a lot of British programs, because my research interests are more popular over there than they are here and I may have a better chance getting in. In the event that I get in nowhere (hoping this isn't the case-- I applied to 18 programs, which was pretty exhausting), I'm going to investigate some more schools in the UK. For the most part, they have rolling admissions, and it's possible to apply up to two months before the program is supposed to begin. For those of you who've received all of your bad news (I'm still in that awful waiting-to-hear limbo), if you've got enough energy left to apply for some more programs, poke around some overseas schools. You never know-- sometimes rejections happen because your area of interest is popular somewhere else.