Emilee

The only person who can tell you if getting dog is a good idea is you, since it really depends on what type of person you are.

Like you, I always had the dream of owning a dog. While finishing my Master's, I acquired both a dog (a month after starting my program) and a cat (a year into my program via a dumpster). I do not regret my decision...not the least bit. That being said, I am also the kind of person who shops at Goodwill, keeps the same cell phone for at least 5 years, and refuses to pay for cable. Most of my extra income after rent, gas, and food go towards my pets. I am single, so all the responsibilities fall on me. I also live in a place where…half the year… the temperature is in the 100s and…the other half of the year… it rains non-stop. Rain or shine (or, in a few cases, haze from a nearby forest fire), I walk my dog religiously twice a day. I also used to have to pay extra pet rent for my dog and had to put a bigger deposit on my former apartment. I even had to sometimes adjust my schedule, so that I can make sure I am home in time to take my dog to go potty. However, I would not have it another way, because I value them over other more material things, like clothes and fancy cell phones, and I feel my extra effort is paid back with their "love". Having them has also led to some positive consequences such as losing weight from all of the walking I have to do each day.

Some people can handle this lifestyle. Some cannot, and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem lies when well-meaning people try to take care of animals but cannot handle all of the responsibilities required.

So, you have to decide for yourself whether you are willing to deal with all of the responsibilities that come with owning a dog. If you can handle them, go for it. If not, you might want to consider something that requires less responsibility and less money like a hamster or a rat (Don't laugh. I have owned rats before. They are both clean and intelligent. You can even teach them tricks like dogs , but you have to deal with the social stigma attached to them. )

Oh...and, if you do decide to get a dog, DO NOT buy one. Adopt one for three reasons: You are a saving a life, you will be able to find a dog that is already potty-trained (believe me...you do not want to deal with potty-training while in a program), and sometimes (since a lot of dogs in rescues are surrenders) you can learn the dog's history and personality so that you can find one that meets your grad lifestyle.

The only person who can tell you if getting dog is a good idea is you, since it really depends on what type of person you are.

Like you, I always had the dream of owning a dog. While finishing my Master's, I acquired both a dog (a month after starting my program) and a cat (a year into my program via a dumpster). I do not regret my decision...not the least bit. That being said, I am also the kind of person who shops at Goodwill, keeps the same cell phone for at least 5 years, and refuses to pay for cable. Most of my extra income after rent, gas, and food go towards my pets. I am single, so all the responsibilities fall on me. I also live in a place where…half the year… the temperature is in the 100s and…the other half of the year… it rains non-stop. Rain or shine (or, in a few cases, haze from a nearby forest fire), I walk my dog religiously twice a day. I also used to have to pay extra pet rent for my dog and had to put a bigger deposit on my former apartment. I even had to sometimes adjust my schedule, so that I can make sure I am home in time to take my dog to go potty. However, I would not have it another way, because I value them over other more material things, like clothes and fancy cell phones, and I feel my extra effort is paid back with their "love". Having them has also led to some positive consequences such as losing weight from all of the walking I have to do each day.

Some people can handle this lifestyle. Some cannot, and there is nothing wrong with that. The problem lies when well-meaning people try to take care of animals but cannot handle all of the responsibilities required.

So, you have to decide for yourself whether you are willing to deal with all of the responsibilities that come with owning a dog. If you can handle them, go for it. If not, you might want to consider something that requires less responsibility and less money like a hamster or a rat (Don't laugh. I have owned rats before. They are both clean and intelligent. You can even teach them tricks like dogs , but you have to deal with the social stigma attached to them. )

Oh...and, if you do decide to get a dog, DO NOT buy one. Adopt one for three reasons: You are a saving a life, you will be able to find a dog that is already potty-trained (believe me...you do not want to deal with potty-training while in a program), and sometimes (since a lot of dogs in rescues are surrenders) you can learn the dog's history and personality so that you can find one that meets your grad lifestyle.

I agree with you about soul mates. The reason I don't believe them is because, simply put, you're not going to have it all with anyone. You must compromise. The point is that even if you find someone at the right time with the right career and with all the characteristics you want, you are still going to have to give up a lot of things, many of which one can never foresee. For that reason, happy marriages are those in which communication and compromise comes natural. Those happy marriages you see -- I'd bet the house that they don't have it all. But they do have love and understanding, and that is as close to having it all as one can get.

I think, no matter how old you are, if you're not willing to factor your partner in to your decision, that tells you everything you need to know. You haven't met someone that you love enough to make the compromises. There is nothing at all wrong with this. Putting yourself first in that case is exactly the right decision.

But that is so different than claiming you can't respect someone who sacrifices for you, by following or making career adjustments, which is immature. If you really love someone and want to spend your life with then, then it really is crazy to lose respect for them because they want to sacrifice.

Sadly, this perspective does seem kinda cold, but this is my current perspective too. I know I'm still growing and figuring things out and I'm not ready to factor obligations to another person in that yet. Luckily, when I brought this up with my boyfriend when we had been dating a few months he agreed and said he felt the same. I was looking around for PhD problems and we both agreed that he shouldn't be part of my decision. If we were still together when the time came for me to move, he could follow me (he's a teacher) or not based upon what he felt was best for him. Similarly, if I stayed (which I did) it was not because he was there.

Everybody's different and at different points in their life though. Even though I've been with my boyfriend for quite some time now and care VERY deeply for him (I have a phobia of the L-word), there are still parts of my life I'm not ready to compromise on. I feel I'm too young to want to be tied down and regardless of who I meet, I'm not ready to give this up. By some miracle, my boyfriend has no problems with this and encourages me to live my life first. We just talk as things come up and take life one step at a time. He's right for my life right now and I for his, but we are honest and talk and re-evaluate when we hit bumps. So far, so good, but neither one of us is looking for a life-long commitment right now and that's what matters to us.

There's nothing wrong with this. Maybe it's not romantic or fit other people's notions and experiences, but it works for us, we're happy, and honest and that's all I care about. I have plenty of friend that got married right out of high school though and had no problems compromising from the start. That's what they wanted, chose, and have been happy with.

As for the OP, if you convince yourself that situations won't allow it to work, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It happens just because you believe it will. Be honest with yourself and your partner. Nobody can tell you this is how you have to do it, or this is how it should be, but you do owe it to yourself & your partner to be honest with each other.

I am in a similar situation (except my POI told me to not be surprised if I did not receive the letter within the timeframe stated). If I were you, I would wait a least a week more. You do not want to seem impatient. (Remember, you are going to be working with these people in the future.)

Strangely, waiting for the official acceptance has been the most painful part of the process for me, since I know I am almost there.

My general lack of optimism is my worst weakness. I have already thought of a plan B if I don't get in and plan C if plan B does not work. I am even thinking of a plan D in case plans A, B, and C don't work.

Who knows...I might have even absentmindedly written,"Please just give me my rejection letter now instead of waiting until April" in my SOP.

I am teaching myself how to knit (via youtube). Learning to knit is so frustrating that I forget to worry about my applications.

Today, I also received a fortune cookie message that said "Good things come to those who wait. Be patient." When I read this, I nearly fell off my chair laughing (probably in skepticism).

Maybe this is a good sign????