milara

Let me see... when I joined I was automatically subscribed to the following channels which have not been particularly active recently but do exist: postdoc_parents, wellness, work-life. There's a channel called "resuscitation" which is a place to request and give emotional support and related advice, such as where to get support or how to ask family, friends, and/or colleagues for support. Not the same, but there's also a channel about COVID (featuring discussions about faculty allies and how to talk about loss of productivity due to COVID), and a channel focused on anti-racism and anti-oppression. You're also given permissions right away to add channels, so if you want to create something new, you can! I've already asked a question on the workspace about a dealing with a delinquent letter writer, and I actually got a number of useful responses pretty quickly. So I think it would definitely be a useful resource during the job search.

Hello all! I got added to the Future PI Slack, so I'm here to report on the situation there. As I suspected, it is still predominantly people in biomedical and biomedical adjacent fields. The moderator tells me that over the years there have been people from other disciplines off and on, but never a critical mass. I started a channel to discuss how we can make it a more welcoming place for people in other fields. People have been friendly and welcoming. There is definitely useful stuff on there -- channels focused on negotiating offers, exploring non-academic careers, being a parent while being a postdoc, wellness, writing (including something about checking in for accountability), etc. My feeling is that it makes more sense to try to work with this community to broaden things, as they seem so far to be open to that, than to start our own Slack. And, as an interdisciplinary researcher, this goes double for me, as I would love a single Slack that can serve all of my needs. Having said that, a network of Future PI Slacks may also be a good solution. I've seen something similar done on Discord, where they create a server template that can help kick start partner servers, and each server has a partners channel that lists the partner servers with invite links. To join the existing Future PI Slack, send a direct message on Twitter to FuturePI_Slack containing a link to your LinkedIn profile. If you don't use Twitter, message me on here and I can send you the moderator's email address. @jungyun @DevsChick@Mrazy You all expressed interest in this, so I'm tagging you. @meowzers, I already messaged you with the email address to contact.

I feel I should make a joke about bisexuality, as we used to be called fence sitters, but the wittiness is not with me right now. Yes, I definitely am feeling more positive today. Still depressed but less than yesterday. As for your dilemma... This tends to depend on the field you are in, but in some fields, people move back and forth between academia and industry all the time. We act like this is some huge major final decision we are making, but remember that it is never too late to change your mind. You are not committed to the choices you make forever.

If/when I get added to the Future PIs slack, I'll see if there's another way to get added and let you know!

I will totally join that, @Mrazy, but also, apparently there are two Slacks to consider joining. One is called Future PIs and one is called New PIs (iirc). You join the Future PIs Slack by tweeting them (FuturePI_Slack) a link to your LinkedIn profile. I sent a request and will report back about what it is looking like when/if I get an invite. It was apparently started by biomed folks several years ago, but they want to expand the channel to all disciplines. No idea how successful they have been in doing so.

I'm a bit of an emotional mess right now, but thanks. This was such a sweet reply, it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you to you, and to everyone else who has been supportive. It helps restore my faith in humanity.

Hi @jujubea! I'm wondering if you have any insight to add. Here's what I can say, in case @sentinell is still interested in an answer. I have an interdisciplinary doctorate in computer science/communication studies. My undergraduate degree was in Physics and my masters in Journalism. Although my program only required that I pass 3/4 of each qualifying exam, I sat the whole computer science qualifying exam and passed on my first try. All of my publications were in computer science venues, all but one class I TA'd were computer science classes, and my lab/advisor was populated completely with computer scientists. My advisor did not have an joint appointment -- his only appointment was in the Computer Science department. I have landed interviews for postdocs in both disciplines. The postdoc I ended up accepting was in the area of online political communication, on a project that was heavily using computational methods. I chose it because I felt I wanted to improve social science skills that had been neglected as a doctoral student. I have also managed to get a few interviews for assistant professorships in both disciplines. What I've found is that the communication studies people really value my computer science background. They see it as an asset. The computer scientists, on the other hand, only seem to invite me for interviews for appointments that are specifically interdisciplinary (such as in the area of Ethical AI). When they interview me, they ask a lot of questions that make it sound to me like they are trying to determine: am I really a CS person or a social science person? Despite the fact that my entire doctoral career was heavily skewed towards the computational, my years working as a journalist, the interdisciplinary nature of the program I chose, and the fact that I took a postdoc in a Comm Studies department seems to convince them that I am not One Of Them. I would say that your own experience as an interdisciplinary researcher will depend on the disciplines you combined, and whether you published in all of your disciplines, or just one. But I think everyone's experience will be different.

Hey, for those of us who didn’t get funded, is there any interest in a new thread/post (or maybe even a Discord server or Slack channel) focused on academic job searching? I was just thinking to share places that are good for searching for postdocs and early career faculty positions, but if there are other things people want to share, we could discuss what other information to share there as well.

I am so sorry for her. I hope it doesn’t make things awkward between you, and she finds some other equally awesome opportunity!

I think I read somewhere that they do not. But I could be wrong.

They were all research positions, and I didn’t make it past the first interviews, but yeah. I guess intellectually I can recognize that as a good sign, but... part of emotional abuse is repeated gaslighting that makes it hard to believe the evidence of your own eyes. I find that I now need to rely on others (such as my brilliant and amazing nesting partner who I love deeply) because I have no trust in my own judgment. Just a general recommendation, folks... never underestimate how damaging emotional abuse can be. I thought the tools that have seen me through depression and anxiety would allow me to handle this, and I was wrong. I stayed way longer than I should have because I loved the research, I was invested in the project, and I felt the research was societally important. I also thought I could protect more vulnerable people (such as the undergraduates). I was wrong on all counts. Anyway, I don’t want to turn this thread into the support milara thread. I really do appreciate everyone’s thoughts. I also am interested in talking to anyone else who has suffered emotional abuse in academia, because if I ever do achieve some measure of success in academia, I hope to form some sort of advocacy/awareness organization to address the systemic ways in which academia allows this sort of thing to happen. We have a missing stair problem. So if you know anyone, and they are interested, feel free to message me.

Yeah... if I did get this fellowship, I would have traded it in a second to erase the damage done to my mental health. But, if wishes were fishes, we would all have sushi and it would be delicious. Thank you for the empathy.

I apparently am not allowed to add any more likes to posts today. I appreciate the support. If I had not gotten funded but had a respectable score or rank, I think I would be okay. But I scored low and ranked low. And, as it happens, my publication record is actually a bit weak, in my opinion. My doctoral advisor thought so too. So I can’t really find comfort in that. I thought it was okay because I got this postdoc I have now, and I landed some interviews for assistant professorships. I guess I need to find a faculty member who is willing and able to do a more thorough review of my CV and assess whether I am deluding myself thinking that I can do this.

Wow. You sound so accomplished! I am so sorry that you didn’t get funded. You certainly sound capable to me! Makes me wonder how they really evaluate capability.

For complicated reasons, her primary appointment is at a different university than the one through which I was hired. My institution is acutely aware of it, but all they can do is try to protect her future hires and consider not renewing her courtesy appointment. I have received some interviews for both postdocs and faculty positions, but the cPTSD from my experience here in combination with these scores and the fact that my number of publications is on the low side due to struggles with disability throughout my doctoral career... well, it is definitely making me question my path. Thanks for the supportive response.