Chicajojobe

If you can't stand to be around other people drinking then it might be more difficult, but not impossible. It's unlikely that every student in your program is a raging alcoholic who has no interests outside of drinking, so find out what those are. Find what you have in common with other people. Consider joining any clubs for grad students you find interesting, or even starting one if you discover an activity you and a lot of other grad students enjoy. If you just don't drink yourself, but don't mind other people doing so then it really shouldn't be too much of a problem. My advice there is go to happy hour with everyone else. You're allowed to go, there's nothing that says you have to order the drink specials to attend. There are non-alcoholic drinks to choose from besides Shirley Temples. At some bars you can bet regular sodas like Coca-Cola, and all of them have the non-alcoholic components of mixers to chose from like club soda, tonic water, and fruit juices. You can order these on their own, or experiment with ordering them mixed together. Tonic water and lime, club soda and cranberry juice, or club soda and orange juice are just some suggestions to start off with. As for your fellow students, a few might tease you and the best thing to do is just take it with good humor and be part of the joke. If they really won't spend time with you because you don't drink, are they really worth it? It seems to me that they clearly aren't your friends if their acceptance of you so tied to a single condition like that.

Yeah I'd say that's definitely crossing a line. The part about her health, I understand having a concern about the impact it might have on her progress toward her degree. The student loans. If it were just her, I could pass it off as just personal opinion slipping out when it shouldn't have, but wanting to know if her roommates had loans and asking their names is honestly creepy. It's her decision what she wants to do about it, and I wouldn't suggest trying to sway her in any direction. However, it is reasonable to ask that she not discuss your personal finances with him. It sounds like she already was fielding the questions, but you could suggest that if he asks any more she should just tell him that you haven't shared details about your finances with her (even if it's a lie, he isn't going to be able to prove otherwise).

It's pretty much a given that you will talk to your advisor about what classes you need to take, your research, your progress on toward the various milestones like qualifying exams, your dissertation, etc. That also includes opportunities along the way like conferences. I'm in hard sciences, so I don't know if it's normal to do a post-doctoral fellowship in your field or to go right into assistant professorship, but either way your advisor will probably be your number one reference when applying for these things. I wouldn't worry too much about being annoying when coming to them with professional concerns because it's actually expected when you're a PhD student, in any field, that you will have a close relationship with your advisor. Being a graduate student and being in academia is sort of like marrying into a family. When you start out you have your advisor who is like your 'professional' parent, their influence will most likely stay with you your entire career, at the very least they'll impact the course of it. For this reason, it isn't even uncommon, to discuss day to day life, hobbies, outside interests with your advisor if the two of you have any of these in common. However, this all the depends on what kind of relationship you and your advisor have. Some are more strictly professional, and others also develop into friendships. That kind of thing you just have to feel out. Since advisors have such an influence on your career, it's important to find the right one. So if your advisor gives you the impression he or she finds professional questions like about conferences, etc. annoying and really doesn't want to help you, then it's time to consider finding a new one.