Gentlelife

I entered the school where I'm currently staying now as an undergraduate of physics program, but it was not until the end of my first semester that I found myself really attractive to geoscience. I talked to my physics advisor and ultimately determined to double major in both physics program and atmospheric science. I personally would not recommend that you should transfer to the schools where the program of your interest is provided, but were I you, I would definitely put a lot of my efforts and time in maths, physics and chemistry, preparing to study Earth Science in graduate school. I have no clue which program you are doing now but if possible you could consider either transfering from your current major to physical science major or at least have a minor in physics or mathematics. Mind you applicants for graduate program of geology come from a wide variety of programs with very different undergraudate backgrounds, and to make yourself stand out from a pool of applicants, you must arm yourselves with sufficient knowledge and skills in science and do research with a faculty from department of physical science or chemistry on the issue related to Earth Science.

The majority of my instructors of physics wear slippers in the labs and recitations... In fact, I've never seen them wear shoes. Here in my school, slippers is a code for physics students...

To toypajme, thank you for your reply. Based on what you shared, I suppose that I did overreact. It's pretty comforting to know that your father should shut your family members out the door if they show up uninvited on holidays. Compared with that, my housemate's family have really been hospitable and kind to an alien. To Eigen, you're right. If I had looked on the bright side, I could have read the message quite differently. And I think I'd better not make any judgement by my assumption any more. As you know, I'm pretty sensitive to what people do, what they say and focus too much on minutiae so I can easily go to the extreme to the negative side. Thanks for pointing out my annoying personal traits. To gellert, by no means have I been trying to "desire commiseration" by insisting that I should be "right". Believe it or not, I'm not that kind of arrogant guy who looks down on the culture distinct from mine, Science student as I am, I'm still pretty interested in the humanities and diverse culture. I do feel and I assume every one will feel uncomfortable when being exposed to the culture different from the one where he is raised and born. So it IS challenging to acclimatize myself to American culture within a few months after my arrival in the US. Perhaps to a native speaker, some things I posted here may be offensive and rude, but I didn't mean to be disrespectful or "abrasive". You're right at that point. My English is far from enough and satisfactory and this can be the biggest obstacle that makes myself isolated from others.

Well, it is true that I am the only child of my family, but I am by no means "a spoilt kid". No one has never got hurt since he left his mother's protective shelter but it is human nature to be self-defensive. I never take it for granted that I should be invited, and I do be grateful to those kind offer, but surely I'll not accept any "humiliating" offer. A red carpet welcome? Your buddy or female friend would not make that remark if he or she faces that situation. This has nothing to do with one-child policy. Many Chinese students do compare the bad of America with the good of China, which I admit is bad, but in this case, I'm talking about culture, or people skill if you would like to call it that way. Mind you asians might be the most sensitive people in the world while Americans are really just careless.

Apparently, there's something I need to clarify here. My original post does not go down into specifics...My bad... I've never denied the fact that my housemate was quite open-minded because I do sense that she endeavored to do all she could to make me feel welcomed, to make me feel at home away from home. Meanwhile, as I mentioned previously, I cheerfully accepted her invitation with pleasure and have always been willing to embrace exotic culture. I was happy to go to dinner with her and I personally believed this could be a golden opportunity to get involved. However, if I knew she hadn't actually asked her parents if I could come, instead of turning her down, I would probably want her to get permission from her parents. I believe thanksgiving dinner is a big deal in America and her parents had every reason to be informed of me showing up ahead of time. I don't think giving her parents a call just before we finally arrived was acceptable. As I could only hear her part of conversation between she and her parents, I did feel bad that I was unwelcomed by her parents. Her mother might ask her where I was on the phone, and my housemate's reply to that was that I was with her and her boyfriend in the car. After that, they began to discuss some mundane issue, i.e what language do I speak? At the end of the conversation, she SIGHED and told her mom that I would stay with them after dinner for only a few games and then I would go to bed. After talking to her mom, my housemate bagan to explain what we were gonna do after dinner, told me the rules of some games I was expected to be a part of. I then spent the rest of our journey in the car preparing... But after the dinner, I just had a small talk with her father, and then was asked if I was tired and if I wanted to go to bed. Though they were not that straightforward, I did feel like they were eager to send me to bed. That night I shared the same room with my housemate (BTW I am a guy) and her boyfriend. They went to the room with me and I settled myself in bed for sleep. They had been inside the room with me barely ten minutes when my housemate received a call from her mother to ask her to take her boyfriend out at 11 p.m, and upon that time I was confirmed that her parents didn't actually want me to be included while my housemate did want me to join them with the game. I felt terribly bad that night and regretted having coming with her for the dinner. I admit that I was unhappy with my housemate taking me to dinner without letting her parents know in advance. The biggest challenge I've been encountering is that I can never handle a bunch of people in the US as we are living in "a small social group". I'm not handling an isolated person living on an isolated island. It is my pleasure to know of someone broad-minded and frank disposition but if my housemate could me a little more considerate, I might not be hurt. They are some other awkward occasions I've experienced, and honestly I felt uncomfortable with some of her words and behaviours as well...(she should look at the face of her boyfriend's when she picked up a chat with me on some sensitive topic and when she did something with me around! Americans give me the impression of being too careless) That's why I find americans are somewhat difficult to deal with in genral...

You need "talent" to get in academia in ALL fields. But in general, physics, math, philosophy and literature are the typical fields ordinary people flinch from going further.

Cars, basketball, maybe soccer and baseball plus video games. It seems that you share the same hobbies with my housemate's boyfriend. I know these stuffs are most american guys like to do and I bet you nine out of ten rich guys from China also enjoy these stuffs. Well I have the interests very different from the majority's. Literature, music, philosophy... something you don't care. For now all I want to do is to focus on school. I want to get out of here as soon as I can.

I believe not all Chinese students are so rude! Believe it or not, those guys who complain about inconvenience in your country have never stopped complainning back home... I usually ignore these guys... Speaking of International students who share the same languages tend to clump together, I suppose we are just feel lonely because we are rejected by other race and treated like an alien in the restaurants (not school dining court). Rarely does anyone enjoy solitude so the best way to make ourselves feel like belonging to a group is to stay with someone who looks similiar to ourselves, definitely with little or no motivation at all, because probably the people we hang out with in a foreign country are those we don't really care back home. Loneliness may make one get distracted and lose his goal. I want to get into a good graduate school so what I'm doing now is to focus on my study. I now double major in both physics and atmospheric science and I want to graduate on time. So I concentrate on my own work, push mself hard, so I have no time to be in a loss. I believe my efforts will be rewarded in four years.

To get along well with others entails to give-and-take. Though I've made an array of mistakes after I moved in, I DO NOT see my faults in terms of this case. I appreciate my housemate for asking me to join her with her family meal but she could have let her parents know I was coming to join them. Had she put herself in my position, what would she feel if she showed up unexpectely and abruptly during an acquaintance's family meal? How would it make her feel when she knew her housemate's parents called off few games due to her presence? Is it American's TRADITION for an american to take a stranger home for the Thanksgiving meal without permission from his parents? And then send someone to bed after the meal so that they could go on their bonding together? It makes me feel I was so cheap! I thank for her assistance after my arrival, but I'm not tolerant of and would never understand what she had done. This has nothing to do with culture shock.... She will move out with her boyfriend at the end of this month, and I planned to give her a silk scarf. I don't know who screwed ... whatever it is, but my life will move on.

Well I play the guitar and some keyboards and the pipa ( a kind of Chinese instrument). I've learnt the music since I was four. Never have I had a chance to join an intramural band or I think there are hurdles that prevent me from doing so on account of distinctions between Asian music and American one... I'm a freshman this year so I don't know Purdue very well. Hiking sounds great. I want to give it a shot for the upcoming spring semester. West Lafayette's a small town and it's boring but it's tranquille and safe. That's one reason why I like Purdue. I may try to get out of here when I apply my graduate school. Hopefully I will adapt better to Metro university with different backgrounds.

感谢你的回复。我的TA和教授确凿如此，即便我的英语表述再模棱两可，再错误百出，他们都不厌其烦地为我耐心答疑，不会一味敷衍。而普通的同学和餐厅或服装店里的人就不同了，可能是他们的生活节奏很快，所以通常会感到不耐烦，比如说我去一家墨西哥餐馆用餐，对美式的墨西哥菜是一窍不通的，店员也不会为我多做介绍，即使说了，我也听不懂，也不晓得那菜是什么样子，所以每去一家新餐厅总会踌躇犹豫，导致旁人对我侧目而视。至于友谊，我觉得那得随缘，在上海认识的很多“朋友”终究是有缘无份，最后分道扬镳，从此杳无音讯。美国则是因为有着文化差异和语言障碍，或是各种“歧视”，使人无法融入当地的环境吧。 Just one advice for your Chinese: Kindly avoid speaking a foreign language in English way. I have the feeling that you may come up with the whole Chinese reply by replacing English words with Chinese characters. In other words, think in a Chinese logic when you're writing Chinese instead of doing the translation work! I know this may need you to take an ardudous effort because I have the same problems of reacting well in French after I learn too many English and communicate with others in Chinese. But if you work hard to get used to it, you'll find it is really cool to have differnet modes of thinking! Good luck! 加油！Bon courage!

Thanks for your advice:) Maybe you're right, I really shouldn't take everything that happens seriously and personally. Little by little, by observation and soul-searching, I'm trying to learn from me experience, I have to hold my head higher than my heart now and then... 其实说真的，自从我到美国后英语水平不知不觉下降了很多。可能是我过于胆怯而不敢和当地人交流吧。只能走一步是一步了，谢谢你的建议！

You're absolutely right. When I was in highschool in Shanghai, I had some friends. They often dropped in on me at weekend. We had fun time together; however, it was sad that I lost the pictures of all of them overnight on the day we graduated... Lifelong relationship is hard to build anywhere since life is never just being, but a becoming, a flowing on...But at least I want to have merry time of every short episode of my life. That's exactly what I'm looking for even in the US.

Hello all, I'm in great depression these days, but it's nice for me to find out this forum where I can ask for help. I'm of ancient descent, and my hometown's Shanghai. I'm now studying physics in West Lafayette. The first few weeks in an exotic country were tough and the university residence was full, which means that there was no space for me to live on campus. So I found a house relatively adjacent to my department building. One of my roommates is a kind guy that she offered to pick me up at O'hare. She helped me so much with my life in the US for the first couple of weeks like taking me on a bike ride, taking me to the bank to open up an account, etc. She once invited me to attend one of her friends party at weekend, but when the day came, she never mentioned that again. Gradually, I have the feeling that she no longer would like to hang out with me, or feared to go out with me because her friends may reject her because of me. So the days passed peacefully till last week she wanted to take me with her boyfriend to attend her family meal on Thanksgiving day. Initially I accepted her invitation because I mistakenly thought that her mom and dad may be happy that I joined them. But it turned out that both of her parents didn't know my coming to her family reunion until she called her mum on our way to the hotel. I showed up abruptly that night and I felt bad about it. Her family seldom talked to me, so I was just sitting there like an idiot while others were having fun together. On our way back to the house, she and his boyfriend wanted to drop by for shopping, and of course I had no mood. I followed them into the shop and left them alone since I think it was a good chance for them to have private time. However, this led to more troubles to them. They spent a long time looking for me in the shop! Yesterday, she decided to prepare a good family meal for everyone that shares the house with them, and I was so painful with that experience that I didn't show up. She and her boyfriend didn't say a word ... Despite that fact, I'm still grateful to them for they've been helping me so much since my arrival. Her boyfriend once taught me how to shoot with rifle on the farm, and that was of great fun. Though they said that they helped me because I was their friend, I don't think it is true. We almost did not hang out together. She is going to graduate in this December and she will move out to another state for a job with her boyfriend. I was wondering if I should give her and her boyfriend a gift. I'm now preparing the gift but don't know what I can get for them. Can anyone provide me with some constructive proposals? Now the first semester will almost finish, and I still feel mentally lonely. I get along well with International students, but don't know how to handle native American students. They seem to be pretty unapproachable. I'm not a socialible person, and not "hot" at all. But at least I want to get along well with Americans because I have entire four years to stay with them. What should I do?