Hope. Feathers. Insanity.

I was just accepted at CMU, and I was looking at the Squirrel Hill area and schools. I have 2 grade school age children. Does anyone have children at Minadeo? What has your experience been?

Ok, acceptance will only warrant a large glass (box?) of wine and a new novel and a big kiss for the husband, but an acceptance with funding deserves something AWESOME... This is why we have already bought a DSLR camera. (Because I'm not good at waiting for my rewards.)

I don't know. There is a sad sort of relief when you get that first rejection. It's like, well, at least I didn't just imagine sending in all those applications. Somebody got them. ...even if they don't want me.

If they put me in charge, all the programs would have a hard notify-by date. (accepts and rejects and lists all at once) Why won't anyone put in me charge? I just don't understand it. I would also give everyone a kitten just for applying. Sympathy kittens for everyone.

The professor told me (and why-oh-why would she lie - that would just be cruel) that the rhetoric department only accepts the people they can fund... and that they were still waiting on some of their funding. I'm just clinging to this hope. CLINGING. A girl can dream.

After talking to a professor in the rhetoric department, it seems some decisions are waiting on news about funding. ... so I'll cuddle up with my last little ounce of hope for this school for at least a day or two.

I'm thinking marathon novel writing and application filling for next year. Maybe a few hundred bottles of wine.

I recently married a physicist. He keeps reminding me that my future sans-fully-funded grad school will not involve living in a box and eating cheetos out of the trash. I keep reminding him that it will if I want it to. Since he's finishing his PhD this spring... even a fully-funded school may involve box-living.

Keep hope. My sister's roommate in college got accepted to a fully-funded PhD program in psychology in MAY. (They had to wait on funding.) Until all the schools have rejected, all is not lost. (That being said... I NEEEED to know. NOW. Iwillnevergetinandwillliveinasmellyboxwithnofriendsforever.)

Listen to the Tremeloes a few more times. Check email obsessively again. ...still not rejected. Certain future of life under a bridge in a box with fleas has been momentarily delayed.

February didn't seem so long at the beginning of it... Now, it is interminable. When will they stop the torture?