ugh, yeah, fellowship apps are entirely draining... it's a lot of work, and essentially a gamble for a real source of income. i'm lucky that my department provides steady funding, but with huge undergrad debts, in an expensive city where housing eats up most of my $ and with an unemployed spouse, it's still pretty tough to manage - and demoralizing at times. i'm really exhausted by all of it - especially when april rolls around, because it's always an emotional rollercoaster. this week, everytime i check my email i feel slightly ill. but hang in there!!! it's tough for most if not all of us - but it's also a source of support to have a place like this where we can vent and get support from fellow-grads. good luck and good vibes to everyone.