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nik21104

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  1. So, I'd just like to start by saying that if I could do it over again (I'm a second year), I would've been much stronger and definitely smarter by choosing another research group. However, this is not about me or my decisions. This has to do with another student, a first-year who wants to join my research group. Let me start by saying that my adviser is the most nicest and amazing adviser possible, his post-doc on the other hand is a bitch, a royal bitch who torments everyone. She makes her coworker go home and cry everyday and she and I have spent months of giving each other the silent treatment after she made a few comments about me. Now this first-year made a few stupid mistakes while visiting a group meeting, like laughing when the presenter made a mistake and then being on the phone for like 20 minutes. These offended everyone so much that no one wants her in the group. However she is a really nice girl and I feel bad for excluding her for things that don't really define a person. On the other hand, I know that the post-doc is going to hate her and treat her even worse than she treats me (which is saying something as she spends all day calling me lazy and stupid in Mandarin). So I told my adviser not to take her on the basis of it will just cause more problems but now I'm tired of letting the post-doc dictate everything in the lab and part of me feels bad for the girl who desperately wants to join. It's between her and another dude who I've never met and I want to fight for her but I'm not sure if its the best for her. I guess I want some advice on whether to fight for her or to listen to my heart which is saying that not fighting for her is the best option. I did however try to steer her to the group I now wish I had joined but she seems depressed and confused as to why my adviser hasn't taken her. Should I tell her? Also some advice on dealing with the post-doc would be awesome. I can't directly fight with her cause she goes to adviser and complains about me all the time so he might already have a bad impression about me that I don't want to worsen.
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