Go to visiting weekend?

[neuroJ]

So, I am in the very lucky position of having multiple offers to choose from. Yesterday, I got an offer from what is probably my top choice (I was quite giddy all day). However, this puts me in a bit of a spot. I am scheduled to go visit two other programs I have offers from this month. One is a program I'm still considering, the other is a program I don't think I'm likely to enroll in. I will definitely go visit the first, but I'm wondering what to do about the second. While communication with that program has been a bit stilted from the get go, they have been very accommodating. Just this week they arranged to provide me a plane ticket to fly out on a weekend after the official one. I don't want to waste their time and effort by going (I'm sick of traveling, too!), but on the other hand, I don't want to be rude and turn them down flatly, especially after how great they have been.

What should I do? I'm thinking I'll will contact my POI there and tell him my situation- that I'm leaning towards another program and that though I appreciate the offer very much, if the program/POI would be better able to make use of their time/resources pursuing another candidate they should go for it. Still, that is going to be one awkward-ass email.

Any input would be appreciated.

[RomulusAugustulus]

I would say they will probably appreciate your honesty more then leading them on regardless of it being a bit awkward. I'm sure they would rather spend the money on someone who will actually think of attending. Congrats on your acceptances!

[sciencegal]

It won't be as awkward to them as it feels to you! Better to let them know so they can spend their resources (time and money) on a candidate more likely to attend. They will appreciate you letting them know. They know many of the students they admit will attend another school. Congrats on your admit to your top choice school!

[missamy]

I am in the same conundrum! The advice was given to me that 1) its ok to visit each school because you really are considering how each one feels even if you have a leaning towards one place, and 2) the people you meet on visits will be future colleagues, so it is a good networking opportunity anyways. I am really conflicted though because there are people on waitlists very badly wanting spots, stipends, and flights.

[The Knife]

I was accepted to 1 school I really liked (but not my top choice), 2 that were middle to bottom, and one that was the safest safety I could find. At first I was reluctant to visit all of the programs because I didn't want to be bored and I didn't want to waste the resources of a department I wasn't very interested in. In the end I decided to visit all 4 because I felt that they all deserved an equal chance to impress me. Just because a school looks good on paper doesn't mean it's an environment in which you'll be happy. It could turn out that you feel awkward or unwelcome in your top choice program while your bottom choice is full of people that you really fit in with in a city that you love. It's a free trip, you might as well take advantage of it. The choice of grad school is a decision that will effect the next several years of your life, so you shouldn't make it without being as informed as possible.