Long Distance Relationships?

[deshypothequiez]

I was accepted to a program that I'm very excited about and is my only prospect for this year. However, my SO is unable to move with me at this time, and we're unsure about the future. Has anyone successfully maintained and LDR while in grad school and can give advice? I don't want to say my decision to accept or not is 100% dependent on whether we can make it work, but at the same time it's not something I can just not think about either, y'know?

[rising_star]

This comes up here a lot. See links:

 

 

That seems like a good start. Use the search function to find more (I recommend putting the phrase "long distance relationship" in quotation marks).

[Lea0919]

Hi yes I have been in grad school (a masters) AND worked a full time job while applying to doc programs, while being in a ldr- going on three years now.  And there are a few things I can say about it.

 It's tough, and it isn't the most fun thing. But it's doable.  If you and your partner are strong and stable with your relationship, it is absolutely a thing that can happen.  A few things to consider in terms of the advice I could lend- how long will it be?  One or two years is much easier to swallow than, say, five or six.  Would there be the option for them to move closer to you in that time?  How far away will you all be?  I am only 3.5 away from my partner, so I can drive over in an afternoon which is a real blessing.

And, if anything, I have found that this really- REALLY- strengthened us.  And it really made us think about our relationship and made us decide to do it intentionally, as opposed to us doing it out of convenience or ease.  We are stronger than we have ever been, and we have outlasted many other couples we know that live in the same city- and I firmly believe it is because we have strong foundations as a result of the distance we have had to work through.  There can be silver linings to it.  

In terms of advice- communication and planning.  Communicate- call each other. Text.  Send snail mail, emails, anything to let them know you are thinking of them, and want to connect with them.  Also, PLANNING.  Always have a weekend to look forward to.  Whenever I see my partner, knowing when I leave we only have 3 weeks, 2 weeks, etc, until I see them again makes the goodbye a little bit easier.  

If you feel anything like I felt when I got my news that I was leaving, it's a mixture of excitement and dread over the unknown.  But I can tell you, it really is doable.  

Hope that helps

 

[deshypothequiez]

@rising_star my bad!

[rising_star]

@deshypothequiez, no need to apologize! I just wanted to let you know that it's been discussed in case you might gain some insight from reading past conversations.