Mourning Top Choice Loss

[PsyDuck90]

Hey all, I was just wondering if anyone else is feeling the same way. I didn't get accepted to my top choice school. Luckily, I did get accepted to a program I like with research that I'm excited about, but I can't seem to shake the sadness of my top choice rejection. Anyone else? I'm wondering how others have dealt with the conflicting emotions. 

[PokePsych]

I don't think you're feeling anything weird. This whole application process is like an emotional rollercoaster. I tried beforehand not to get too invested in a specific school or choice.

I've seen many comments around here that people visited their top choice and it just didn't feel right - and the other way around. I got accepted in my top choice for my Master's (Europe works differently) but it was one bad ride for 2 years due to a lot of departmental politics that I was not aware of and some misrepresentation of resources (aka there's a grad student lab - but there are no participants, so yeah...).

Focus on the things that are great about the school you are attending rather than the things you have 'lost'. 

[psykick]

Your feelings are valid and not at all uncommon. I got outright rejected pre-interview from my one of my top choice schools and found myself having a hard time being happy about other invites while trying to deal with that loss. It helped me to remember that this process works itself out most of the time and allowing yourself time to feel bad/sad about it will be more ultimately helpful than pushing that aside. That being said, I agree with what Psygeek says and think that investing energy on the awesome qualities of the program you've been admitted to and recognizing that you have the ability to craft this experience with people who wanted to help is great too.  It's affirming to know a place you're excited about is excited about you too, even if it's not the top choice. 

Edited March 20, 2018 by psykick