review sample GRE issue writing

[tbtyree]

Prompt: As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

 

Could someone please critique my first attempt at an issue essay?

 

 

Prompt: As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.

 

Even though technology is a wonderful addition to our lives, as people rely more and more on technology it is evident that people will be less able to think for themselves.  Technology does not always work and people tend to panic and forget how to do mundane tasks without it.

 

Technology is a wonderful tool to improve productivity.  We use it for everything to making phone calls, to controlling the temperatures in our houses, to knowing how many steps we take a day to improve our health.   Although if the technology we rely so much on goes down, or we simply lose electricity, people cannot even seem to compete the most basic of tasks. As an example, teachers rely on technology to teach and when there is not electricity they find it very difficult to do so.  The use of computers is used in center time as well as instruction time. It’s quite amazing how teachers have to really think about how to teach when the technology is not working. In many schools students all have their own Chrome Books to do all sorts of tasks on. Therefore, nothing can be done if the Chrome Book doesn’t work, or the electricity goes down.  

 

Technology is a wonderful tool for writing, but with spell check and grammar check people really don’t have to think about these things for themselves.  Even with writing papers for college there are apps that help with citations of sources. In reality people don’t have to think for themselves, they just have to plug in their citations into an app and the work is done for them.  If someone had to actually hand write an essay and know how to cite sources it could be detrimental for them. With spell check one just has to look for the underlined words to see something is not spelled correctly. This is also the case for grammar check.  No longer do we have to use the dictionary to look up words or know the basics of good grammar. Most children these days don’t even understand what a dictionary is for or how to use one.

 

Another example of people not being able to work without the use of technology is in the department or grocery stores.  When a computer goes out, lines back up and the cashier has no idea how to add up merchandise and/or calculate the appropriate taxes on items.  Generally stores just close down for a few hours because the technology has gone down. This causes a loss of revenues as well as intense frustrations for the people working at the stores and the people trying to purchase what they need.  

 

Technology is great when it works, but when it doesn’t it can cause problems.  Yes, technology is an important part of our lives and living without it at this point seems to be something we simply cannot do;  but technology is causing the ability of humans to think for themselves to deteriorate.

 

 

 

 

[tbtyree]

Will anyone look at this??