review GRE practice writing

[tbtyree]

Could someone please review my practice writing?

Fist is Issue  

Issue # 2 - Some people believe that college students should consider only their own talents and interests when choosing a field of study.  Others believe that college students should base their choice of a field of study on the availability of jobs in that field.

 

Write a response in which you discuss which view more closely aligns with you own position and explain your reasoning for the position you take.  In developing and supporting your position, you should address both of the views presented.

 

Growing up is difficult and no one should be pushed into a career simply based on the availability of jobs within a particular field.  A person could do that, go to school for four years, and then all of a sudden no jobs are available. College students should consider their talents and interests when choosing a field of study.  

 

First, If a college students looks at the availability of jobs and chooses a job based on the availability in a particular field it could easily backfire for them.  Say a student’s passion was baking and decided to go into a filed of physical therapy because they can make more money and more jobs are available. That student spends 4 years studying physical therapy.  Then has to onto a master’s program in the field and finally get a PH.D and then ends up hating what they do. It becomes stressful and may put them into a deep depression. They may eventually quit and then what will they do.  Their skills are limited and there will be limited jobs available to them that they might enjoy. That is a lot of time and money wasted on something they didn’t even want to do to begin with and have no desire to have a career in that field.

 

If that student had originally gone into a business career with the idea of wanting to open a bakery someday that student has the advantage of getting a business base and the know how to run a business while doing something they love to do.  That type of knowledge could be very valuable in many different career choices and assist them in doing what they love. They could work in a bakery to learn the ins and outs and then decide if they really want to work for themselves or not. Even if they don’t, they are still loving what they are doing and that makes for a better quality of life regardless of the income along with the background knowledge to know how to make that business better, if it’s owned by them or not.  

 

Going to college to do what you are passionate about can make a big difference in the performance of your day to day job.  If you are doing something just because there were more jobs available but you don’t enjoy it, you are living a non full filling life.  Simply going through the mundane tasks each day in order to get home and do something you truly enjoy. Whereas, doing

Argument task

The following appeared in a letter from a firm providing investment advice for a client.

"Most homes in the northeastern United States, where winters are typically cold, have traditionally used oil as their major fuel for heating. Last heating season that region experienced 90 days with below-normal temperatures, and climate forecasters predict that this weather pattern will continue for several more years. Furthermore, many new homes are being built in the region in response to recent population growth. Because of these trends, we predict an increased demand for heating oil and recommend investment in Consolidated Industries, one of whose major business operations is the retail sale of home heating oil."

Write a response in which you examine the stated and/or unstated assumptions of the argument. Be sure to explain how the argument depends on these assumptions and what the implications are for the argument if the assumptions prove unwarranted.

My response:

While it may be true that most homes in the northeastern United States traditionally use oil as their major source of heating, not all homes will use oil as their source for heating. This author’s argument does not make a reasonable case that investments should be made in Consolidated Industries just because it is a major retailer of home heating oil.  It is easily understood why most homes utilize heating oil as it may be cheaper than alternative heating, but is is certainly not the only option to heating ones home.

 

First, while we know that the last heating season experienced 90 days with below-normal temperatures, it is not certain that this trend will continue.  Just because climate forecasters predict that this weather pattern will continue does not necessarily mean that it will. For example, what if only one climate forcaster was asked about the pattern in temperatures.  There may be hundreds of others that don’t agree with his/her predictions. Unless many climate forecasters were asked for predictions and those predictions were all taken into account we cannot assume that what the predicted pattern will indeed continue.

 

Additionally, just because many new homes are being built in the area has nothing to do with oil being a major fuel for heating.  Builders may opt to use alternative heating methods, such as electricity, natural gas, or adding solar panels to the new builds. This author assumes that oil will be used in all of the new houses being built in response to the recent population growth, where in fact, that may simply not be the case.  Though some might still utilize oil as their preferred heating source, most likely not all of the builders will use that method for heating a house. Just because a home is build does not necessarily mean that builders will utilize oil as their major fuel for heating. In the past oil may have been the most economical to put into the houses.  These may be old houses. For new houses being built it may be cheaper to build them using a different hearing source. The author cannot assume that all houses will have oil as their major fuel for heating.

 

Building on the fact that one cannot predict the weather, weather patterns may change and be warmer in the next few years.  If that is the case, then investing in Consolidated Industries might very well be the downfall of this particular client. It also cannot be presumed that the population growth will continue for several more years. The economy may have a natural disaster to contend with, which could halt the building of future homes in the area.  Therefore potentially causing the client who invested to lose everything.

 

Although the client might consider investing in Consolidated Industries for various outside reasons.  This author's reasoning should not be the only factor in the consideration of investing in a company whose major business operations is in the retail sale of home heating oil.  

 

 

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