GRE Argument Essay Feedback

[Lizzie523]

Hi all, I am studying for my GRE and would love some feedback on my essays, considering this is my weak point. I'm a bit out of practice when it comes to writing essays so any advice would be greatly appreciated. Also, an estimated "score" would be helpful, if possible 

. Thank you

 

Argument Essay Practice Prompt: 

the following memorandum is from the Edwintown City Council:

" This year, in view of our pledge to be more environmentally conscious, we will be requiring all homeowners within the city limits to recycle their glass, plastic, and paper waste.according to a recent study by Edwintown University, the volume of trash in Edwintown and it's surrounding environs has increased by 20% over the past 15 years. By enforcing recycling laws for all houses within the city limits, we will improve the aesthic and public health ocnditions of our area." 

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered to decide how likely the stated recommendation is to yield the  predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers To these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

 

Response:

     Upon conducting research,  Edwintown has decided to put recycling regulations into place to improve the aesthetics of town, and to improve the health conditions. This puts in question the what the town is currently doing, how the plan to uphold this regulation, and the possible changes that lead to this regulation being a necessity.
     With an abundance of cities across the U.S. And the world taking an environmentally conscious stance, it can prove valuable to look at other cities as a model for Edwintown’s plans. Many other cities have started putting an emphasis on separating waste into appropriate categories to reduce wasn't enough within the community. For instance, one way Santa Cruz County tried to encourage less waste was to reduce the size of the trash cans, and increase the size of the recycling and compost bins. This has worked by forcing a household to separate their waste because of limited space. Homeowners are able to have a regular sized trash bin, but at a higher fee, once again encouraging people to waste less and recycle more. This has worked, because Santa Cruz is one of the most environmentally conscious cities in Central California. 
     While putting in place a recycling regulation may be good for the city, it leads to the question of how will cities enforce the new regulations. How will city officials make sure homeowners are handling up their end of the bargain? Will the trash collectors provide surveyed information? Will the police department be involved? What will the consequences be if laws are not upheld? In theory, forcing homeowners to recycle sounds like an easy fix to improve city aesthetics, but you have to remember somehow it does need to get enforced; which means city workers (or whoever else will enforce the law) will need to be trained on how to do so, and homeowners will need to be educated about what can be recycled,composted,and simply thrown away.
     The research done by Edwintown University stated that in 15 years the amount of trash outside of the city has increased. Although this may be true it also raises speculation about the other aspects that may have changed in the same amount of time. For instance, if the population has increased proportionally to the amount of  trash around the city has increased, it is likely that the increase in levels of trash is a result of the population and not negligent homeowners. If this is the case,  the town should make educating the community about different types of waste to prevent an unneccescary amount of trash labeling let out.
     By mandating Edwintown homeowners recycle their glass, plastic, and paper waste  town officials are hoping to improve the aesthetics of town and improve heAlth conditions. Many other cities have taken  steps to eliminate excess waste within the community. By following the models of other cities Edwintown May be able to decrease the amount of waste that it’s citizens Produce. However, it is important to make sure that the increase in trash isn’t just the  result of negligent homeowners.