HELP! Personal history/diversity statement

[okletstry]

Hello hello! Hoping for a last minute review of a personal history statement that is due TODAY for a UC. To be blunt, I am a white female who grew up affluent. In my statement, I tried to 1) acknowledge my privilege, 2) acknowledge where my commitments to diversity and marginalized groups have fallen short in the past, and 3) how I now view my responsibilities as a person with privilege. 

I'm not sure my statement follows through with those three goals, however. I would sincerely appreciate anyone who can offer a quick read through and feedback as to where my points are getting lost or I might sound tone-deaf or something. Reply and I'll send you a link to a google doc!

Happy to help review an SOP or personal history statement in return, if you'd like

[nebulousmilk]

I'm in a similar boat. I'm guessing you mean Berkeley if you submitted yesterday. I will exchange with you if you're applying to any other UC schools though!

[mimimimo]

I'd love to! Send it over and we can do a swap.  

[Pranshu Garg]

Hey! I know this would be even more LAST minute but I need the reviews too. Can you help me out? I am up for any help I might be able to provide too.