My "MOAR MONIES PLZ" letter - feedback needed

[LadyL]

Here's the deal: I have been offered admission to one of my top choice schools. The lab that is recruiting me knows I have several other offers, and has made it clear that they are willing to supplement the departmental stipend I was offered out of the PI's grant money to make their offer "more competitive." I have not talked specifics about this but they have brought it up several times. I have been trying to figure out how to say "yes, I would like more money please" and here's the draft I've come up with:

As you know I am considering several funded offers from other programs. I am very interested in [your program], both for the resources within the program and also in the area due to proximity to New York City. However with those resources comes a substantially higher cost of living. I am concerned that the current stipend allotment at [your program] will lead to financial strain that will distract me from my studies. One program I am also interested in offers a stipend in the high 20s because they are also in a metropolitan area (Boston) with a higher cost of living. If the financial support from [your program] was at a similar level it would greatly help my decision making.

Thoughts? Is the "financial strain" piece too whiny? Is it pushy/overly direct to mention numbers?

[Slorg]

Sounds good to me. I think some wording is a little on the whiny side (but this is coming from a blunt and straightforward person). Overall it sounds very standard to me.

If they've mentioned giving you extra money, I would personally mention it, but you probably don't need to.