Making friends in grad school

[literalturtle]

Was debating posting this in the "Officially Grads" section, but figured why not here.

What has been your experience making friends in grad school? Is it natural for cohorts to be close, or does it really vary by programs?

I'm really looking forward to not being surrounded by undergrads (especially freshmen, given my position as a resident assistant...); I usually make friends with older students. I also don't like partaking in alcohol/drug consumption, and I'm hoping the norm of going to frat parties on Friday/Saturday nights will peter out once I start. What's been everyone's experience like making friends, and what's seen as a typical grad school weekend night, beyond cramming for exams or editing/grading/writing papers?

[Teaching Faculty Wannabe]

On 2/24/2019 at 12:09 AM, literalturtle said:

Was debating posting this in the "Officially Grads" section, but figured why not here.

What has been your experience making friends in grad school? Is it natural for cohorts to be close, or does it really vary by programs?

I'm really looking forward to not being surrounded by undergrads (especially freshmen, given my position as a resident assistant...); I usually make friends with older students. I also don't like partaking in alcohol/drug consumption, and I'm hoping the norm of going to frat parties on Friday/Saturday nights will peter out once I start. What's been everyone's experience like making friends, and what's seen as a typical grad school weekend night, beyond cramming for exams or editing/grading/writing papers?

I am not a grad student yet, but I have heard a lot of advice on this topic. Here is what I've learned:

It's good to make friends in and outside of your field. For friends in your field, they can be people within your research group or in the department. This is dependent on how close the graduate students are in the department based on activities that are planned and how big your research group is. But it is good to connect with people who exactly know your pain.

For friends outside of your field, I am assuming you can make those in classes and organizations you are a part of and from friends that you make in your field who have friends outside of your field. Go to activities planned at the university. Join various clubs and organizations.

I have heard that finding your friend group is very important when it comes to surviving grad school. Grad school can make you feel isolated and lonely, so your friends are there to convince you of otherwise. Good luck with everything!

[PokePsych]

On 2/24/2019 at 12:09 AM, literalturtle said:

Was debating posting this in the "Officially Grads" section, but figured why not here.

What has been your experience making friends in grad school? Is it natural for cohorts to be close, or does it really vary by programs?

I'm really looking forward to not being surrounded by undergrads (especially freshmen, given my position as a resident assistant...); I usually make friends with older students. I also don't like partaking in alcohol/drug consumption, and I'm hoping the norm of going to frat parties on Friday/Saturday nights will peter out once I start. What's been everyone's experience like making friends, and what's seen as a typical grad school weekend night, beyond cramming for exams or editing/grading/writing papers?

I think cohorts vary by program but also by people. Most of the people I hang out with are from my cohort, but I also have other friends in different programs - partly through classes or other means. As for weekends - varies per person, city, and location. I read, I make art, I clean my house, I try to meet friends and go for long walks or galleries. It's so personal.

I'd recommend also trying to make friends outside your cohort or even program to not be talking about science 24/7. My main struggle is to make sure that my work is not the only basis I judge myself on, which then helps my self-esteem tremendously.