GRE ARGUMENT ESSAY REVISIONS

[SamanthaRosochacki]

"Over the past two years, the number of shoppers in Central Plaza has been steadily decreasing while the popularity of skateboarding has increased dramatically. Many Central Plaza store owners believe that the decrease in their business is due to the number of skateboard users in the plaza. There has also been a dramatic increase in the amount of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. Thus, we recommend that the city prohibit skateboarding in Central Plaza. If skateboarding is prohibited here, we predict that business in Central Plaza will return to its previously high levels."

Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.

            The following argument is flawed for numerous reasons. Just because there has been an increase number of skateboarders does not mean that is why the sales of Central Plaza have decreased. There are many things that need to be taken in account in order to make this a valid argument. 

            Things change greatly in the result of two years. The assumption that the number of shoppers has decreased in two years because of the skateboarders is too vague. What was the economy like two years ago? The economy might have been better two years ago than it is now, resulting in fewer shoppers. If the shoppers of Central Plaza are not making the same money they were two years ago will decrease their shopping. If, the argument states that the economy has not changed or has gotten better would give this argument more validity. 

            The author made another vague statement discussing the increase of litter and vandalism throughout the plaza. With no evidence to back up this statement does not result in it being the fault of the skateboarders. If the customers are the ones that are littering or vandalizing the plaza, then that is not because of the skateboarders. Also, has the town that the Central Plaza is in, has had increased crime rates? If so, that would be a possible explanation to why there has been an increase in litter and vandalism. By making the assumption that the litter in the plaza is because of the skateboarders and that is resulting in decreased sales, weakens the argument. Also, how much has the number of skateboarders increased? With no statistical data, it does not show how ‘drastic’ the increase of the skateboarders was. If it turned out to not be that big of an increase it would further weaken the argument. 

            Finally, another possibility to take into account is if the demographic has changed in the last two years. Has there been an increase in young residents in the area? If so, that could result in the plaza not having as much business. If the stores within the Central Plaza are not intriguing to the residents, they will not want to shop there. Also, another risk to take into account, is if there have been any new plazas built in the area. With that being said, may result in the shoppers at the Central Plaza to travel to the new shopping plaza.

            The authors assumption that the increased number of skateboarders is what has caused the decreased number of shoppers at the Central Plaza is too vague and does not provide any support.