How to ask for an update

[ExoticTeacup]

First of all, I am extremely fortunate to have been accepted into all of my programs and to have been offered excellent funding packages at all but two of them. The problem is that my first choice is one of the two that have not yet made me a funding offer. Now, before getting angry at me for being greedy, I should give you some background. A major factor in that school being my first choice is that my boyfriend of almost five years is currently doing his PhD there, and if I do not go there, there is no way to be less than three hours from him. He started there one year ago, and part of why he chose that school was because he knew it was my first choice for academic reasons and that I would go there if I got an offer. Thus, it is a great fit for both academic and personal reasons.

During my last visit there, a professor whom I've known for over a year told me unofficially that they planned to offer me a fellowship, and that official funding decisions would be made in two weeks. It has now been four weeks since that date, and I haven't heard ANYTHING from them! I'm now working on deciding among the offers I have received to pick my second choice so that I can free up funding for others at the other institutions, but I still don't want to accept the second choice offer until I hear from the first! I have other schools putting pressure on me to make a decision, but I still don't even know if I'm going to be offered funding at my first choice! I don't want to be that person who holds onto a funding offer until the last minute and then declines, but I can't turn down a YES for a MAYBE.

Is there any way to politely ask my first choice school where I stand for funding? If I am being waitlisted, I want to know where I stand and what my chances are. Unfortunately, because there is more than just my education at stake here, I can't just go accept an offer at a school that is equally attractive academically unless I know for sure that there is no way that my first choice is going to come around. GAH! This is killing me!

[joro]

Why don't you just email that Professor back and ask him if official funding for you has been decided? Seems pretty simple to me unless there's more to this.

[ExoticTeacup]

I guess I just don't know what the code of etiquette is at this point. I've known that professor for over a year, but we're not exactly buddies or anything. We've just had 3 or 4 chats over the course of a year. Would it be overstepping any boundaries to ask him about it?

[joro]

I was just thinking that he was the one that informed you that official funding would be announced so I thought that it might be okay to ask him. It isn't like you're bringing it up out of the blue, right? The Professor started the conversation of funding, so why not continue it?

[ExoticTeacup]

It was a "This is completely unofficial, but..." sort of thing that he mentioned in person during a sit down meeting. It just feels like it would be out of the blue now since it has been almost four weeks. But I suppose since he was comfortable enough to talk to me off the record like that, I should probably stop stressing that he would take a follow-up e-mail the wrong way. It's just too easy to stress about every little thing right now.

[rooster34]

I think you are worrying far too much. While I do think that there are plenty of people who stress out and inundate departments with unnecessary emails regarding their situation, I don't think you should worry. Just be nice. I am still waiting on my top choice and I've now emailed them twice. The first one went a little something like:

Hi <contact person>,

I know that you are quite busy this time of year, but I was wondering if...

Thanks,

rooster34

I got a reply stating that they'd check and get back to me. Since that didn't happen, I emailed again.

Hi <same contact person>,

I hate to bother you again, but the April 15th deadline is fast approaching and...

Thanks,

rooster34

That was late Thursday and I've not heard anything yet.

In summary, be short, nice, and don't worry.

So, in your case, perhaps:

Hi <prof.>,

I know that you are busy, but I haven't heard anything about funding since our last conversation. Etc...

Hope it helps and I hope the prof. fires you back an email with mad $$$$$$$$!