How to make amends when I screwed up by procrastination

[Rosettaspoon]

Hi guys, first of all, thanks for anyone who can bear to read through this post because I screwed up big time and have been panicking for months.

Any advise would be appreciated, thanks so very much 

--So, I asked two of my professors to write my recommendation last December.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get to anywhere and I have been too ashamed and awkward to write back to them. (Then I was caught up in hospital… but I don’t think I should/ want to “use” it as a pretext for procrastination and avoidance…)

Then it just came to the point that I don’t even know how and what to email them.

But the stress and tension with myself has been killing me.

Also I’m struggling on re-apply this fall.

More importantly, they are the two professors that I respect much and they have been very kind and supportive to me, which only makes me more guilty and ashamed.

 

Either way I feel the urge to at least apologize and say thank.

But I don’t know how or whether I should do it or just forget about it and be a coward to the end.

 

I really suck on socializing. Any advise would help.