Can You Turn Down Your Only Option?

[avatarofabs]

Okay, here’s the deal. I applied to 6 schools, got waitlisted at two but hadn’t heard anything from them for 3 weeks. I’m currently living in Seoul, South Korea. Mentally I told myself I was going to be here for another year and I even began researching schools to apply to for next year; I argued for a raise at work on the grounds that I would be here another year; I officially started dating with a girl I had been seeing but hadn’t been serious about because I thought I would be leaving in the summer.

This morning I wake up and have an email from the Graduate Director of UT-Knoxville’s English Dept—I’ve been accepted with a fellowship and funding. This is obviously good news… but also not so good. I was devastated when I didn’t get accepted into any schools, but I straightened up and told myself another year overseas is not a bad thing. Mentally (emotionally) I’ve moved on. I have been very excited to research other schools, get in touch with faculty, etc.

This may seem like a no-brainer to some people, but I’m emotionally torn and conflicted in a BIG way. Another factor is the time-line. My year contract at my current employer is up 6 days before the official start of the semester at UT-Knoxville, leaving me NO time to initiate and complete a successful, international move. My hope? Admission deferment, if that's even possible. But then, how do I find out if I can without scaring off the department?

Excuse me for inserting a locution of our time but… FML.

[appliqed]

Graduate Admissions let internationals know of the decision earlier than its domestic counterparts due to the VISA processing time. You should contact the schools you are waitlisted and explain your situation and ask for your chances of getting in/funded/whatsoever needed. Uncertainty is worse than a rejection...I feel for you. Good luck!

[strokeofmidnight]

Okay, here’s the deal. I applied to 6 schools, got waitlisted at two but hadn’t heard anything from them for 3 weeks. I’m currently living in Seoul, South Korea. Mentally I told myself I was going to be here for another year and I even began researching schools to apply to for next year; I argued for a raise at work on the grounds that I would be here another year; I officially started dating with a girl I had been seeing but hadn’t been serious about because I thought I would be leaving in the summer.

This morning I wake up and have an email from the Graduate Director of UT-Knoxville’s English Dept—I’ve been accepted with a fellowship and funding. This is obviously good news… but also not so good. I was devastated when I didn’t get accepted into any schools, but I straightened up and told myself another year overseas is not a bad thing. Mentally (emotionally) I’ve moved on. I have been very excited to research other schools, get in touch with faculty, etc.

This may seem like a no-brainer to some people, but I’m emotionally torn and conflicted in a BIG way. Another factor is the time-line. My year contract at my current employer is up 6 days before the official start of the semester at UT-Knoxville, leaving me NO time to initiate and complete a successful, international move. My hope? Admission deferment, if that's even possible. But then, how do I find out if I can without scaring off the department?

Excuse me for inserting a locution of our time but… FML.

You can at least ask about deferring. They can't take away your acceptance letter simply because you're looking into that possibility. It helps, though, to have a solid reason why: most of the deferrals that I've encountered were for fairly serious medical issues or really compelling scholarship reasons.

Think about why you applied to Knoxville in the first place. Was it a good fit for your work? Is it still? What would you gain from the year off, in terms of preparing yourself to be a better scholar/applicant? Are you hoping for a better offer the next time that you apply? Are you willing to take the risk that that doesn't materialize? Will this year abroad still be worth it? What can you do during the year abroad to improve your scholarship/profile. You mentioned talking with faculty, and while that can be helpful, it has had little effect in influencing ad-comms in my experience. (I didn't contact faculty and did quite well. Some of my friends who did actually fared worse at places where they had contacts--personally, I think the difference it makes is small, if any).

[avatarofabs]

I got an email that sweetened the deal. They are also offering me a special 5-year fellowship. It would waive my first year of teaching, add to my monthly stipend, and reduce my teaching/assistant load in subsequent years.

This seems like an easy choice but I'm just not sure I have the funds available to move back to the USA in August. If I break my current employer contract I'm losing out on around $3500. However, even if I can get them to defer admission, the chances of me getting the same fellowship are... slim, to say the least.

[strokeofmidnight]

I got an email that sweetened the deal. They are also offering me a special 5-year fellowship. It would waive my first year of teaching, add to my monthly stipend, and reduce my teaching/assistant load in subsequent years.

This seems like an easy choice but I'm just not sure I have the funds available to move back to the USA in August. If I break my current employer contract I'm losing out on around $3500. However, even if I can get them to defer admission, the chances of me getting the same fellowship are... slim, to say the least.

I don't know. I think we're coming from entirely different perspectives/set of values, so it's hard to me to offer advice. I can't imagine myself pursuing any other career path (and I spent two years trying other things), so a $3500 penalty wouldn't prevent me from accepting a funded offer from a program that I like. Then again, I only applied to programs that I really wanted to attend (especially this round) and had already decided--pending an unexpectedly horrific visit--that I would definitely accept an offer from any of my 10 schools. Only one of my programs might not have offered full funding (as as it turns out, they did come through with a fellowship)...and even then, it was my top choice, so I knew in advance that I would accept regardless of how things turn out. In the others, I dealt with the "if" I'd go decision before I even submitted applications.

I suppose I'll just reiterate my original comment: figure out WHY you applied to this program in the first place, and what you hope to accomplish there. $3500 isn't a lot of money in the grand scheme of things, if grad school (and this school in particular) would facilitate your goals. But if you're interested in a career path that doesn't necessary require grad school, and/or taking this offer would entail giving up a job that you already enjoy/pays the rent, then you might want to reconsider. Still, I think the gravity of the decision (in a sense, choosing your future career) should entail a wider set of considerations then the moving issues alone.

But then again, that's just me.

[iamwhoiam]

I don't know. I think we're coming from entirely different perspectives/set of values, so it's hard to me to offer advice. I can't imagine myself pursuing any other career path (and I spent two years trying other things), so a $3500 penalty wouldn't prevent me from accepting a funded offer from a program that I like. Then again, I only applied to programs that I really wanted to attend (especially this round) and had already decided--pending an unexpectedly horrific visit--that I would definitely accept an offer from any of my 10 schools. Only one of my programs might not have offered full funding (as as it turns out, they did come through with a fellowship)...and even then, it was my top choice, so I knew in advance that I would accept regardless of how things turn out. In the others, I dealt with the "if" I'd go decision before I even submitted applications.

I suppose I'll just reiterate my original comment: figure out WHY you applied to this program in the first place, and what you hope to accomplish there. $3500 isn't a lot of money in the grand scheme of things, if grad school (and this school in particular) would facilitate your goals. But if you're interested in a career path that doesn't necessary require grad school, and/or taking this offer would entail giving up a job that you already enjoy/pays the rent, then you might want to reconsider. Still, I think the gravity of the decision (in a sense, choosing your future career) should entail a wider set of considerations then the moving issues alone.

But then again, that's just me.

Well, I'm not sure of the OP's current funds, but what if he doesn't have $3500 to lose? He did say he might not have the funds to move back to the US in August (but...um, wouldn't your current salary help cover it?)

I would ask, first, if you CAN defer, with the fellowship (although I rather doubt they will let you keep the fellowship).

I'm curious to know why it's impossible for you to move to the US in 6 days. I mean, sure, it's going to be EXTREMELY hard (I moved overseas from another country to the US for undergrad, so I know how it is), but aren't there any grad communities or maybe (if you're Korean?) Korean communities that can help out, like churches? You could look on craigslist for a furnished sublease for a month or two, and then find your own place. Can you start packing and doing stuff little by little before you actually move? This is under the assumption that you would attend UT Knoxville.

However, it really sounds to me that you have "moved on" and you are not too thrilled with attending this school. If you feel that you would rather be somewhere else, not just for convenience's sake but for other reasons (research interests, location, etc.) I would say just go with your gut. Why not give a few days to think over the pros and cons of attending the school (and not just about the fellowship. What if you didn't have it? Would you still go?) and make your decision.

Also, I imagine living in Knoxville would be dull compared to Seoul. I visited a few years back (OMG, that soju was awesome -- and CHEAP!) and I had a BLAST. One of the best cities in the world.

Edited April 8, 2010 by iamwhoiam

[georgica2]

I got an email that sweetened the deal. They are also offering me a special 5-year fellowship. It would waive my first year of teaching, add to my monthly stipend, and reduce my teaching/assistant load in subsequent years.

This seems like an easy choice but I'm just not sure I have the funds available to move back to the USA in August. If I break my current employer contract I'm losing out on around $3500. However, even if I can get them to defer admission, the chances of me getting the same fellowship are... slim, to say the least.

I guess my take is that if you'd be willing to let $3500 stand in the way of going to the program, you're probably not that enthusiastic about it. That's not to say that $3500 is a pittance, but if it were me and I was offered a place at a program I was really excited about, especially if they were giving me a good funding offer, I'd drop everything. I think what you really need to figure out is whether or not this program is a good fit and if you'd be happy there. If you want to go, you'll make the logistics work. I did my undergrad degree abroad, so believe me, I understand how daunting the idea of picking up and moving your entire life to another country is. However, 6 days IS enough time if you really want it to be. When we moved back to the states after finishing undergrad, my boyfriend and I packed up our entire apartment in about 5 days -- and he started work literally 2 days after we arrived. For one, there's nothing preventing you from starting to pack up and ship your stuff before your contract is up. If you start preparing well in advance, it's completely do-able. It'll be a stressful week, to be sure, but that's what moving overseas is like regardless. Another thing I'd recommend -- rather than asking to defer your acceptance, why not explain your situation to the program simply ask if you can start a week late? They clearly want you enough to offer you a generous fellowship, so I bet they'd be willing to work with you to make your move possible.

[avatarofabs]

Well, the $3500 itself isn't the issue -- I've been a "poor" student for most of my life and I can handle that part. I guess it's just a stand-in for a MASS of other [imaginary] problems. The bottom-line is that I can finally have what I have been planning for... and that is definitely scary. I've been living overseas for a year now and having a blast: decent pay and few responsibilities. This is like a second childhood only better. However, starting a PhD program sort of puts a cap on that stuff. I'm okay with that, logically, but that jumping and shouting kid inside of me wants to fight back.

I know I know, I shouldn't whine: this is an opportunity that thousands of people on this site wouldn't pass up for anything. I probably WON'T pass it up but I hope I'm a bit of time to lament the passing of a great era in my youthful years. This is a great program for me because there are some great Anglo-Saxon scholars at UTK and there is a lot of money for medieval studies student at this time. I'm excited, no doubt, but there is no "cut and dry."

[focused]

I think that when you make a big life transition, you will often be uncertain, nervous, and uncomfortable no matter how much you truly want the thing to which you'll be transitioning (in this case, grad school). For over the past two years, I have been working in a job that provides no intellectual stimulation or meaning to my life. I have been working the entire time to begin a PhD program (that meant after very long work days, working on grad-related things until very late at night). I couldn't wait to begin my academic training, my career, my "real" life. I have now been accepted to a dream school with full funding. But no matter how excited I am to move on, there is, indeed, a little part of me that feels comfortable with where I am now. These past 2 years have been an important period of growth for me in terms of determining my personal and career preferences. So even though I don't particularly like the town I'm in or my job, there will be some sense of loss for the experiences I've had in this place during this time. That said, I don't think that idling in a comfort zone is a way to live life. It's not that you should feel miserable, but I think you should always push yourself to do something important (to you), something that stretches you. Sure, it's not easy, but nothing truly worthwhile ever comes easily.

If I have misinterpreted your feelings about the decision, please feel free to disregard. But especially based on your last post, I got the sense that fear, rather than true personal and career preferences, is somewhat contributing to your reluctance to begin the program this year. I think the important thing is to be honest about the reason you're making the choice and feel that you're making it for the right reasons. Good luck making your decision.

Edited April 9, 2010 by focused

[90sNickelodeon]

I think that when you make a big life transition, you will often be uncertain, nervous, and uncomfortable no matter how much you truly want the thing to which you'll be transitioning (in this case, grad school). For over the past two years, I have been working in a job that provides no intellectual stimulation or meaning to my life. I have been working the entire time to begin a PhD program (that meant after very long work days, working on grad-related things until very late at night). I couldn't wait to begin my academic training, my career, my "real" life. I have now been accepted to a dream school with full funding. But no matter how excited I am to move on, there is, indeed, a little part of me that feels comfortable with where I am now. These past 2 years have been an important period of growth for me in terms of determining my personal and career preferences. So even though I don't particularly like the town I'm in or my job, there will be some sense of loss for the experiences I've had in this place during this time. That said, I don't think that idling in a comfort zone is a way to live life. It's not that you should feel miserable, but I think you should always push yourself to do something important (to you), something that stretches you. Sure, it's not easy, but nothing truly worthwhile ever comes easily.

If I have misinterpreted your feelings about the decision, please feel free to disregard. But especially based on your last post, I got the sense that fear, rather than true personal and career preferences, is somewhat contributing to your reluctance to begin the program this year. I think the important thing is to be honest about the reason you're making the choice and feel that you're making it for the right reasons. Good luck making your decision.

That's where I am in my life. Well said.

[georgica2]

Well, the $3500 itself isn't the issue -- I've been a "poor" student for most of my life and I can handle that part. I guess it's just a stand-in for a MASS of other [imaginary] problems. The bottom-line is that I can finally have what I have been planning for... and that is definitely scary. I've been living overseas for a year now and having a blast: decent pay and few responsibilities. This is like a second childhood only better. However, starting a PhD program sort of puts a cap on that stuff. I'm okay with that, logically, but that jumping and shouting kid inside of me wants to fight back.

I know I know, I shouldn't whine: this is an opportunity that thousands of people on this site wouldn't pass up for anything. I probably WON'T pass it up but I hope I'm a bit of time to lament the passing of a great era in my youthful years. This is a great program for me because there are some great Anglo-Saxon scholars at UTK and there is a lot of money for medieval studies student at this time. I'm excited, no doubt, but there is no "cut and dry."

I think that nervousness is a natural reaction -- I'm feeling the same thing. This is my 2nd time applying (I was rejected at all 4 programs I applied to last year) and the fact that something I've been planning on and working towards for 2+ years is about to be a concrete reality is, frankly, terrifying. I always thought I'd be ecstatic at this stage, but instead the thought of September makes me sort of nauseous. I'm guessing everyone is feeling something sort of similar, at least on some level. It sounds like this program is a good fit for you, and you've been given a great offer -- I wouldn't let anxiety get in the way of it. As I said before, I've been there, and the move IS possible, even in such a short period. The key is to start early and do as much as humanly possible in advance.

[rising_star]

This may seem like a no-brainer to some people, but I’m emotionally torn and conflicted in a BIG way. Another factor is the time-line. My year contract at my current employer is up 6 days before the official start of the semester at UT-Knoxville, leaving me NO time to initiate and complete a successful, international move. My hope? Admission deferment, if that's even possible. But then, how do I find out if I can without scaring off the department?

I think you can do the move in 6 days, you just have to do advance planning. First, move the day after your contract ends. You'll have to have already done all the packing, arranged to ship things, etc. Cancel anything that accrues a bill on the day your contract ends, since you'll be leaving in the morning anyway. Line up a grad student couch/futon on or an inexpensive hotel to stay in once you arrive in Knoxville. Before you get there, be in contact with grad students about where to live, where to look for housing, etc. Ideally, you'll find another grad student in your department or another to have as a roommate. Why? This will cut down on your upfront expenses when you move. You may even be able to find a place with a furnished room, where you just move in your stuff.

FWIW, I moved like 1400 miles to start my master's. I graduated on Day 1, moved on Day 2, and started in the afternoon on Day 3. It was a whirlwind and I wasn't all moved in when I started but it got the job done.

However, it really sounds to me that you have "moved on" and you are not too thrilled with attending this school. If you feel that you would rather be somewhere else, not just for convenience's sake but for other reasons (research interests, location, etc.) I would say just go with your gut. Why not give a few days to think over the pros and cons of attending the school (and not just about the fellowship. What if you didn't have it? Would you still go?) and make your decision.

Agreed with all of this. Make sure you are interested in doing research at attending this school and that it will support your interests.

[Malumat]

It will be stressful to move so far and not have so much time to settle down, but you can do it. I have done equivalent moves multiple times, and it sucks but once you do it you'll see that most of the stress actually comes from the anticipation of stress. Try to pare down your stuff so you don't have much to move, maybe do furnished graduate housing for the first term just so you can have not such a busy start, and you'll be fine. You may be having fun now but grad school is fun too, if in a different way. And it's a new adventure.

Besides, who knows which way the economy is going and you'll be kicking yourself if you let go of this opportunity only to not get it again.

[avatarofabs]

I have accepted UTK's offer. The funding is solid, the fellowship is great, and I'll be working with one of the top Anglo-Saxonists in the world (seriously). Thanks for all the advice. Who knows, I maybe be posting on here about the horrible, upcoming move!

[focused]

I have accepted UTK's offer. The funding is solid, the fellowship is great, and I'll be working with one of the top Anglo-Saxonists in the world (seriously). Thanks for all the advice. Who knows, I maybe be posting on here about the horrible, upcoming move!

Congratulations, and good luck with your move.