Premature regrets

[mostlygoo]

I'm still waiting to hear from the one program I applied to this year, so this is premature. Hopefully. But I've started to think about my application and I have regrets, especially since I've kind of bet the house on this one program.

Is it possible to do a pre-postmortem? Yes. Yes, it is.

1. I should have applied to more than one program.

Obvious in retrospect. I won't be completely demoralized if I don't get in, but I think I may have underestimated how selective the program was. Which leads me to...

2. I should have learned more about the program, its faculty, and the current M.A. candidate group.

Not that I would reshape the application, but I'd have a better understanding of whether the program itself is really the best fit. As it stands, a rejection could mean several things: I just wasn't a good fit for the program, which means that it really is a good thing I'm not going there (even if I don't realize it yet); I just didn't measure up to the other candidates in terms of scores, undergrad program pedigree, etc.; I didn't put together a strong enough writing sample and/or statement of purpose; and/or my letters of recommendation weren't good enough or didn't come from the right people. Which is why I'm thinking that...

3. I should have spent more time on the writing sample and the statement of purpose.

Everything else in the application -- even the letters of recommendation, to some extent -- was a done deal. But the writing sample and statement of purpose were completely in my control. And going for an English M.A., they needed to shine. And I felt good about them when I submitted the app, but later on I started to think I'd been over-confident with the writing sample, which was an undergrad paper that I tweaked only a little. That was dumb. I should have approached it like an open-ended assignment, and written the strongest piece I could about something for which I cared passionately. I should have done original research, used fewer but more interesting sources rather than just incorporating an undergraddish quota of quoted material, and written something I loved. Instead it was just the strongest piece I'd written as an undergrad, and it was good enough to stand out as an undergrad... but not something that really showcased an original style or a publication-worthy original point of view.

4. I should have started the whole process much earlier.

I underestimated how much work was involved in getting the application materials together, contacting LOR providers (and following up with them incessantly), writing and revising the statement of purpose, and so on. Next time -- if there needs to be a next time -- I'm giving it the time and space it deserves.

Okay, pre-postmortem done.

[johndiligent]

All good reminders for next year's crop of candidates.

[Squawker]

With most important/challenging things I do, I generally find that I finally understand what's going on once I finish the task. With essays and my thesis, I finally got a sound and clear grasp of the material and overarching themes after I finished writing. With my applications, it was all much clearer to me after I had written and submitted everything. Only about a month or so after submitting, when initial decisions were going around (i.e. acceptances, not for me) I realized what I did wrong in my SOPs. I had a very strong SOP, but I don't think I succeeded in presenting myself unwaveringly as an ideal and experienced candidate. I was too modest and not confident enough. When I rewrite it next year I will make several major changes, perhaps scrapping the old one and starting completely anew. I will also apply to different programs, and I have already starting looking around to form a list of universities. Lastly, I should have applied for fellowships. I didn't do so because I was applying to PhD programs that always include funding in their offers, but now that I'm going the MA route it would be nice to have some funding. I'm definitely glad that I applied to a wide variety of places, as it gave me a good amount of choice once the decisions went out and I had offers that were good but not necessarily perfect.

I think it's inevitable to have regrets with this sort of thing. Admissions committees and professors seem to view applications as very straightforward and simple. Unfortunately, we naive students have much poorer knowledge about the inner workings of departments and committees and about exactly what qualities individual programs may be seeking. In hindsight, with acceptances and rejections in hand, it's much easier to see where I fit in all of this, and what these programs are looking for. Hopefully that will present itself as an advantage for those of us seeking to reapply in a year or two.