speaking with potential advisors

[anbri]

Hello all, 

I hope you are all staying well in this unusual time! 

I want to say thank you to all those who generously gave out advice on this forum -- I was a (somewhat) frequent visitor to this website when I applied to grad schools in the fall, and your words gave me much insight into how grad schools and their applications work. Much gratitude for your selfless sharing and help! 

I will be speaking with two potential advisors this coming week. I have two questions, and I wonder whether you would have some thoughts. 

1) How should I approach the issue of my other choice(s), if it comes up at all? At this point, I am not 100% committed to any program. I don't feel extremely comfortable letting my potential advisors know where else I have gotten into (because I do not want to let people know the program whose offer I did not accept, once I make a commitment). If this issue comes up, I don't want to be insincere and say that I am already determined to attend their program; but I also worry that if I don't even tell them my situation, I would appear neither open nor genuine. How can I approach this in an honest and polite manner? 

2) In general, what questions would be helpful to ask my potential advisors? Much information can be gleaned from the programs' websites, and I will also be talking with graduate students. What can I ask that would be a good use of my potential advisors' time? 

Thank you very much! I look forward to hearing what you think:) 

 

 

[FruitLover]

2 hours ago, anbri said:

I don't feel extremely comfortable letting my potential advisors know where else I have gotten into (because I do not want to let people know the program whose offer I did not accept, once I make a commitment). If this issue comes up, I don't want to be insincere and say that I am already determined to attend their program; but I also worry that if I don't even tell them my situation, I would appear neither open nor genuine. How can I approach this in an honest and polite manner? 

I felt a little uneasy about this as well, but I don’t think it’s a big deal after all. One of my POIs asked me right away what other offers I have and another one asked indirectly. Plus, some other faculty I’d be working with also asked or found out. So if they ask, I think it’s okay to share the information (they can probably even share their thoughts on the other programs or tailor their answers about their program to address why you may want to consider them over the other places), but if they don’t - you don’t have to bring it up.

[IGoToWar]

Like @FruitLover, I've had potential faculty advisors in one case ask directly about programs, and have in another case initiated the conversation myself. In one case, faculty at one school happened to praise the resources at another school I was considering, without me even bringing it up. Can't speak for others, but I've had a good experience with these frank discussions (so far). The sense I got was that they genuinely wanted me to make the best decision for myself, even if they hoped that I would accept their offer. Of course, it'd be best to gauge on a case-by-case basis: does this faculty member seem open to talking about other institutions? By having these discussions, you may learn some really valuable things about the other programs, as scholars in a certain sub-field tend to know each other. They will also know other things about an institution, such as the quality and types of archival/library resources available there. You can't find a lot of this kind of stuff online, and even current graduate students may not know as much as faculty at different institutions.

[psstein]

7 hours ago, anbri said:

Hello all, 

I hope you are all staying well in this unusual time! 

I want to say thank you to all those who generously gave out advice on this forum -- I was a (somewhat) frequent visitor to this website when I applied to grad schools in the fall, and your words gave me much insight into how grad schools and their applications work. Much gratitude for your selfless sharing and help! 

I will be speaking with two potential advisors this coming week. I have two questions, and I wonder whether you would have some thoughts. 

1) How should I approach the issue of my other choice(s), if it comes up at all? At this point, I am not 100% committed to any program. I don't feel extremely comfortable letting my potential advisors know where else I have gotten into (because I do not want to let people know the program whose offer I did not accept, once I make a commitment). If this issue comes up, I don't want to be insincere and say that I am already determined to attend their program; but I also worry that if I don't even tell them my situation, I would appear neither open nor genuine. How can I approach this in an honest and polite manner? 

2) In general, what questions would be helpful to ask my potential advisors? Much information can be gleaned from the programs' websites, and I will also be talking with graduate students. What can I ask that would be a good use of my potential advisors' time? 

Thank you very much! I look forward to hearing what you think:) 

 

 

I understand your discomfort, but I would suggest that this isn't as big a deal as you seem to think it is. Applicants don't accept offers all the time, so most faculty don't take it too personally. I would bring up your other options if asked, because, as other posters have said, faculty have far more insight into the contours of the field than someone just entering graduate school. Depending on your sub-field, your advisor may know faculty at other programs. It's also understood that applicants are going to act in their own best interests, which don't always overlap with faculty's interests.

Unless you do something really egregious, most faculty don't remember accepted students from year to year.

About #2: I would ask about on campus resources and would try to get some idea of their advising style; you should ask current grad students about the latter, too. One of the biggest predictors of a successful relationship is having a similar expectation of the advisor and advisee's roles.

[anbri]

Thank you all very much for your helpful advice!