Conflicted before even applying due to relationship

[abdnew]

I want to apply to various grad programs (PhD) across few countries. During a heated argument, my SO says I'm selfish applying to places farther from where they stay. That I am choosing grad programs over them. I haven't started applying yet and I feel very discouraged from this. Although I'm applying across few countries, if I get one near to where my SO lives, I would prefer that over the others. I don't feel I have suitable opportunities in SO's grad school itself, so I am not sure if I should apply there. I'm very conflicted right now since few application deadlines are coming up soon and I'm just trying not to let it affect me but it's hard. 

 

Context: SO is also a grad student and we're in long distance in different countries now and thanks to covid it's harder than before. Used they/them because I don't want to disclose gender or any identifying information.

Edited October 29, 2020 by abdnew

[PsyDuck90]

.....so it's alright for them to pursue graduate studies in a far away place but not for you? I'm only basing this off of what you wrote. You have to think of what is most important to you and what you wish for in your future. Unfortunately, that isn't really something people on here can tell you. If you don't think your SO's school provides a good fit for you, I wouldn't apply. PhD programs are usually very reliant on fit, so if there isn't a fit, you are most likely just wasting money on application fees.