New Dealing with Imposter Syndrome Thread wooo!

[thaitea]

Hey guys,

As I'm sure a lot of you are in similar positions, I thought this would be helpful! I recently was admitted into a truly great program, and the excitement has slowly turned into crippling anxiety. Lots of "They're going to figure out I'm not as smart as they think I am" "Everyone else is so much better, I will fail"...etc. I know this is so common with all people and especially in academia! Anyone relating to that right now? Because I am feeling it hard?

[Phoenix88]

@redhartI totally understand. I moved from an undergrad school that was a bit better than average, to a school, which although not internationally known, is one of the best in the country in my area! 

Last semester was a total trainwreck, and both semesters I've had to drop to 2 classes to keep up (even though this semester, I didn't have to be a TA, I need to get better grades, and on top of having to move again and a RIDICULOUS amount of work on a fellowship, I needed to be realistic.) I've been creative with trying to socialize a bit, and fortunately, my partner was able to move to another city in the same state, but it's been isolating with not as many chances to meet, and that's definitely taking a toll. 

Speaking to the few classmates I know though, I do definitely feel like I'm falling behind, but looking at it again, sometimes I realize that quite a lot of it is just busy work, or people trying to boost their own egos, or people that just have more mental stamina than me. But that doesn't mean their ability is better. (Those are the good days though tbh... most of the time is full of self doubt.) 

I am looking forward to the summer though, when I'm more integrated into research, and I don't have to worry about classes at the same time. I feel like you may be in a similar situation. 

[thaitea]

@Phoenix88 I'm glad that you'll soon be moving into a stage where you can focus more on your research over the classes. Yeah, it sounds like we definitely have some of the same feelings! No fun. It's so hard worrying that you might behind where your classmates are or where your professors expect you to be. But hey, I guess we're all winging it at some point...

[MaryHildegard]

I was recently accepted to Boston University. I've heard stories about adcoms sending out 'oops, didn't mean to admit you' emails, and I'm so worried that's somehow going to happen to me. I submitted the merit scholarship app today and I know there's no way they're going to pick me (they pick about half the people they invite to apply for merit scholarships). 

Seeing other people's posts on here makes me feel bad. I feel like everyone else has a higher GPA than me and is generally more qualified. 

And then I haven't heard back from Harvard or Yale, which I know are both huge reaches, but of course I really want to go there. 

Edited February 8, 2021 by MaryHildegard

[MaryHildegard]

Sorry to double post, but I wanted to mention I received a merit scholarship from BU yesterday (full tuition!). To everyone else feeling the impostor syndrome, remember that adcoms and financial aid committees can think more highly of you than you do.