Let my angst help you pass the time

[coyabean]

Soooooo, with a couple months to kill and not much to really do I'm even more angsty than normal.

My latest emo freak out is courtesy of my fin aid award letter. I saw all these rows of numbers and got nauseous. Seriously, I looked at it for 63 seconds, closed the browser and haven't been back. This was four days ago.

It just seems like a HUGE financial investment in someone who sometimes forgets which way is east and which way is west. I mean, if they knew me there's no way they'd lay out close to half million dollars educating me...is there?!!!

I know, intellectually, that it is not a "real" problem. I have friends who did not get in, some who had to settle for less than they'd hoped (a different school, an MA vs. PhD, location), and many others who will be taking out huge amounts of loans.

It's a weird manifestation of the imposter syndrome, I guess.

Any future clinical psych folks want to offer some discounted e-counseling? LOL

[Riotbeard]

It still blows my mind confuses me that someone is investing $300,000 + for my education. But hey coya, we have inflated private school tuitions to get waivered! I think the dollar value of my education blew my mind more than anything else and leads to moments of imposter syndrome (how American, I know.) But alas we must deal with the sad fact that we fooled someone into paying for a humanities PhD. What suckers! Haha, mostly kidding.

Soooooo, with a couple months to kill and not much to really do I'm even more angsty than normal.

My latest emo freak out is courtesy of my fin aid award letter. I saw all these rows of numbers and got nauseous. Seriously, I looked at it for 63 seconds, closed the browser and haven't been back. This was four days ago.

It just seems like a HUGE financial investment in someone who sometimes forgets which way is east and which way is west. I mean, if they knew me there's no way they'd lay out close to half million dollars educating me...is there?!!!

I know, intellectually, that it is not a "real" problem. I have friends who did not get in, some who had to settle for less than they'd hoped (a different school, an MA vs. PhD, location), and many others who will be taking out huge amounts of loans.

It's a weird manifestation of the imposter syndrome, I guess.

Any future clinical psych folks want to offer some discounted e-counseling? LOL

[Nytusse]

Well, there is part of me that feels that way, but I actually got a REALLY good funding package for my Master's (before the economy tanked), and I didn't have to do anything at all to get that money. Now for my PhD, it is slightly better money but I have a lot of responsibility right away. I feel grateful that I got funding in any capacity, but I am terrified of all the TA obligations on top of trying to be a "real" scholar.

[rising_star]

It still blows my mind confuses me that someone is investing $300,000 + for my education. But hey coya, we have inflated private school tuitions to get waivered!

Out of state tuition, especially in a state where you can never be considered a state resident for tuition purposes, isn't that cheap either. My tuition is about ~$26K/year, waivered of course.

[Riotbeard]

I personally like to phrase dollar amounts in terms of number of kias able to be purchased, but yeah, out state tuition is certainely not cheep. In either case, I could not afford to go without funding!

[coyabean]

I personally like to phrase dollar amounts in terms of number of kias able to be purchased, but yeah, out state tuition is certainely not cheep. In either case, I could not afford to go without funding!

BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

I like you. You're a keeper. I'm totally gonna start doing that.

"TEN KIAS FOR A STUDIO?!!!"

"Girl, they are crazy! That's two Kias."

I hadn't even looked at the tuition because i knew from the beginning that full funding was the norm. So, when I got the letter I think I kind of swooned? There is so much about this process that is about readjusting your baseline for "normal" and this is just one of them. A year ago the idea of being considered an expert or scholar and thinking of these ivy covered bastions of advantage as MY bastion? Was inconceivable.

Now I'm seriously discussing hundreds of thousands of dollars?

That's, like, 20 KIAS! LOL

[Riotbeard]

Yeah, I think we could all collectively open a kia dealership.

[dant.gwyrdd]

If universities start investing in KIA retail instead of PhD students after this season, it's going to be your fault for giving them the idea

[grad_wannabe]

I think that at least some of that dollar figure is a manifestation of bloated bureaucracy at universities these days. That money didn't go simply to get you educated, but also to pay the salaries of Administrators H through Z. I don't think it's a coincidence that as the number of administrators in higher education has risen, the cost of tuition has kept rising (quite a bit, I might add).

I wonder if/when the education bubble is going to pop.

[coyabean]

I wonder if/when the education bubble is going to pop.

I think that's already written.

And I have some feelings on those projections but I know there's a time and place for everything so I'll sit on it. Let's just say I think that, like in all things, folks are going to act like change is a surprise. Much like the factory workers in my home state were told for YEARS that their industry was dying and yet few did anything to prepare, we'll watch academia (and, to be fair, law, medicine among others) act all super shocked in five, four, three...