taking a year off during grad school

[kleankanteen]

I just finished my first year of a three year MFA program. It has a great name and great funding, but I had an incredibly terrible year-- so bad that I am still suffering panic attacks from it and am dreading returning in the fall. In retrospect, I should have taken a year off in between undergrad and grad school because a lot of the stress I dealt with was from not ever having lived on my own before, and perhaps not being mature enough to handle an MFA program (no support from department, competitive cutthroat environment). My pride prohibits me from completely dropping out (especially since I don't have a backup plan), so I am considering taking a year off. Honestly I would like to use this year off to apply for other graduate programs that are more suited to my needs, and if they don't work out, then I will return to my current program (although my friends and family doubt that I will actually return if I take a year off). Does anyone have any experience with taking a year off during grad school? I haven't contacted my department head yet, so I don't know if funding would be guaranteed for the next year if I take time off. If you have any experience with this situation or any ideas, I would be most grateful to hear them.

Thank you.

[StrangeLight]

i do think it will be difficult to jump back into the program after a year off. one of the students i started with last year is going to take a year's leave of absence for this coming year and there's the definite vibe around the department (amongst students and some professors) that she's not coming back. she really struggled, both with the type of work we do (history program) and with her deadlines.

the only people i know who took a year off and then returned to the program are people who had babies. i'm sure there have been cases of people struggling and taking a break and then coming back and kicking ass, but i don't know of any personal anecdotes to that effect.

i will say, though... i don't think holding an MFA is a prerequisite for any career. so if it stressed you out this badly and doesn't feel like the right fit, then don't do it. don't torture yourself through a degree you don't really need. good luck.

[JenMR]

I don't have experience taking time off as a grad student, but I did take a year and a half off when I was doing my BA. I had planned of never going back to school again because, by the time I left, I was absolutely miserable.

Just a few thoughts and questions:

Does your university have a counseling centre where you might feel comfortable speaking with someone about what options are available to you? Or even a graduate advising centre? What is your relationship like with your supervisor(s)? Could you speak to them about how you're feeling right now? Would you consider taking a semester off instead of a year? That might allow you to take a break away from everything without making it too difficult to jump back in if you decide to. Does your department offer a co-op program to students? Maybe working would get you far enough away from your department, but still allow you to do work that you would hopefully enjoy.

Are you close to other students in your department? One of the things I realized is that once I started talking to other grad students in my department, there was a lot of commiseration on the frustration/exhaustion/anxiety we felt going through this program. It was nice to be able to talk to people about going through all of this together and to know that I wasn't the only one. It's also just nice to get together with people and hang out. It's hard being on your own and surrounding yourself with other people in a similar situation can sometimes help to alleviate some anxiety.

For what it's worth, I don't think there is any shame in deciding to leave a program that is causing you panic attacks. It is a hard decision to make and that, in and of itself, takes a lot of guts. I hope whatever one you do make works for you in the end.

Good luck!

I just finished my first year of a three year MFA program. It has a great name and great funding, but I had an incredibly terrible year-- so bad that I am still suffering panic attacks from it and am dreading returning in the fall. In retrospect, I should have taken a year off in between undergrad and grad school because a lot of the stress I dealt with was from not ever having lived on my own before, and perhaps not being mature enough to handle an MFA program (no support from department, competitive cutthroat environment). My pride prohibits me from completely dropping out (especially since I don't have a backup plan), so I am considering taking a year off. Honestly I would like to use this year off to apply for other graduate programs that are more suited to my needs, and if they don't work out, then I will return to my current program (although my friends and family doubt that I will actually return if I take a year off). Does anyone have any experience with taking a year off during grad school? I haven't contacted my department head yet, so I don't know if funding would be guaranteed for the next year if I take time off. If you have any experience with this situation or any ideas, I would be most grateful to hear them.

Thank you.

Edited June 6, 2010 by JenMR

[liszt85]

Nobody's experience here needs to be the best route for you. A friend of mine who had health issues decided to stop his studies and his mentor convinced him to defer and take a year off. What's best for you is, in this situation, something that only you know best. You cannot perform well with panic attacks to handle on the side. There's a person in my lab in your exact same position.. she takes medication for it as well and she is not doing well. Its a constant struggle. So if you think you need a break, that's exactly what you need. You might do yourself more harm by pushing yourself too hard than by taking a break and continuing after a year (as tough as it might be).

[matcha]

Think of this solely in financial terms- is the experience you had worth another $50,000 (or however much you pay) for the final year? You mentioned trying to find another grad school that fits your needs better. I like this idea! I think $50,000 is a lot to spend on something that will burn you out and not give you the knowledge or experience you need to be successful.

I took a couple years off between my undergrad and grad school experience. I highly recommend taking the time you need to become the person you need to be in order to succeed. I almost guarantee you'll return to grad school eventually- better pay, better job experiences, better long-run outlooks. However, don't underestimate the importance of being ready for the school and making sure the school is right for you!

Don't let your family and friends dissuade you from taking the time you need. Working for a few years is NOT the worst thing in the world- in fact, a lot of grad schools really like "real-world" experience in a student.

I would suggest taking the time you need for your sanity, getting some real-world experiences, and looking around for a better investment for your mind and money.

[2400]

If you thinking about a year off, talk to your supervisor and the folks in charge of financial aid and see if you can defer your scholarship for a year. This may help you with your decision.

A friend of mine, who had a full scholarship, decided to take a year off for personal reasons. After his first year, he moved overseas to be with a girl he was in a long distance relationship with. During the summer, things ended up not working out. He realized he did want to complete his program and he phoned up his supervisor who was able to work things out so he had full funding again in the fall. I never thought it was a good idea for him to take time off from his program over a relationship, but I think there was more too it. He needed to get his life back in perspective and I know he was having doubts about the program. He came back in the fall and was 100% more focused.

I think if you feel you need time off, by all means, do it if it makes sense after weighing all the pros and cons. The program obviously wants you there if you have a good scholarship. A lot of things come up in life, and not everyone goes straight through school.

I'm in a PhD program right now and have talked to other students who have taken time off to teach, take a break, whatever. Only you know whats right for you.

[IRdreams]

I agree with a lot of the perspectives that have been offered here. Time off can be valuable if your are sorting through personal things. A lot of my friends in undergrad took a semester or year off to put their life in focus and came back to perform in and enjoy school more. However, I also recognize that, at least in PhD programs, there is a big fear of student's drifting away due to the long haul nature of the program. ABD's also tend to derive from the challenges of developing a book length project and the fetishization process that goes into it which again can result in students fading away from their programs while never officially dropping out. This may be less of a concern in a masters program because they tend to be shorter and the capstone work rigorous but less extensive.

That being said, I'm reading a lot of dissatisfaction about your current school not just your current personal situation in your post. You mention a cutthroat environment and a lack of departmental support. This type of environment is good for some students but not necessarily for others. Programs thus tend to differentiate themselves. Some with the type of culture you mention and others with...a gentler approach. For example, two of the programs I was admitted to had radically different approaches to student interactions: one competitive and one cooperative. The schools purposely fostered these atmospheres; the former gave competitive financial aid and the latter ensured that students packages were equal. I chose the school that an adviser of mine called a "hug fest." I don't believe competition is the only way to foster intellectual and, I imagine, artistic development. Furthermore, both programs are considered top programs in my field so there is nothing about a school's culture that dictates its wider reputation. It could be you are reacting to the culture of your institution. From this perspective, if you can transfer it might be worth your while. Learning often best occurs when we are comfortable to explore, to make mistakes, and to be ourselves. Some people need a competitive environment to foster this process and others a supportive. You may be in the latter case.