Hurtful Rejections

[boab]

I wonder how many of who have received some hurtful rejections. I don't know about you, but I did not like it when I received a couple of impersonal rejection letters from graduate dean-type people despite the fact that I have been in close communication with an actual faculty member. It was like these faculty members, who once acted really interested, suddenly decided that I do not exist anymore.

On the other hand, I also had one guy who was actually pretty nice about the fact that he decided to talk on another student instead of me. He wrote me an e-mail saying that the decision was really close and that I could work for him in a couple of years if I really wanted. Even though I was disappointed, at least I felt that this guy cared about me enough to compose a little e-mail. These personal e-mails really make a lot of difference, even if they are rejecting you.

Does anyone else have stories to share?

[DUguy333]

I woudn't take things personally if I were you. There a few programs that I've had close contact with the faculty over these past few months, however, I realize that I'm one of the hundreds applying for a few spots and they're conversing with many similar and, in all likelyhood, more qualified candidates. Therefore, I realize if I receive a generic rejection from the program its simply because dozens others will receive the same letter, not suited to each individual.

[JordanJames]

I had one rejection that literally said, "we must limit the number of admissions to our program." I'm glad they informed me of that because I was under the impression that they just let everybody in. This same rejection also boasted about how highly selective their program is (it really isn't that selective). I found that classless, tasteless and rude. I don't mind the impersonal ones, and I had 1 that was 1 line saying that they can't offer me admission that I was fine with. In my opinion, a school should either just simply state that a person has been rejected in their letter, or if they choose to write more, word their letter in a way that is respectful to the applicant.

I've noticed that the better the program, the more considerate and carefully worded their rejections are. I've also noticed the same thing with acceptances. Better schools have written about how much they want me to come to their program and discussed my research interests. Worse schools discussed how great their programs are more than their interest in having me join their program.

[miketakena]

I wonder how many of who have received some hurtful rejections. I don't know ...Does anyone else have stories to share?

Hi ammar, did the professors with whom you've closely communicated with invite you for their recruitment weekends (so that you get to meet him/her personally and visit his/her lab)?

[JordanJames]

Hi ammar, did the professors with whom you've closely communicated with invite you for their recruitment weekends (so that you get to meet him/her personally and visit his/her lab)?

I didn't communicate with professors directly, but I've been invited by grad directors to visit.

[boab]

In my particular case, I actually met one of my potential advisors in person. Prior to our meeting, he seemed very interested in me and wrote me an e-mail telling me that I was an impressive student and that I would fit in well with his lab. After the interview, I never heard from him again. Finally, I received an impersonal letter from a dean saying that I had been rejected.

This pissed me off, since I was led to believe by this potential advisor that he was seriously contemplating the idea of taking me on as a student. If he had been more honest from the start, then I would not have had such high expectations. Among other things, I would have applied to more schools. I also think that he could have written me something in person. I mean, it's not like this dude is Einstein or anything (I was admitted into some other programs that are ranked better).

[historygirl]

Sometimes one professor can be overruled. It's not their fault; it happens.

The committee's process is interesting. Some of these programs have a ridiculous number of applicants and have to choose a handful. One professor may really want a particular candidate, but everyone has their pet applicant. Sometimes a professor might not even get one student in that year's group. So, again, don't take it personally.

An MA program to which I applied (once upon a time) apparently had a throw-down cage match over my application. My potential advisor said no, and two or three other professors, one of whom was the grad director, said yes. I made it to the final round, but they couldn't convince him that my language prep was adequate. I got a nice email from the potential advisor explaining this (perhaps not quite in these terms, but close). I still wonder if the advisor emailed me because he chose to do so, or if the committee said, "Fine, but you're going to tell her and explain that it wasn't our choice!" I thought it was a little funny.

[smellie]

The rejection letter from Duke was not only impersonal but done through automated computer system. I got an e-mail saying that decicions were made, go check online, and when I clicked on the "message", it' was a pdf file of a very impersonal, generic letter scanned and uploaded. They didn't even bother sending the letter, but make you go read that hurtful rejection online.

[boab]

I agree that the Duke rejection letters were not very polite. I actually applied there as a backup school, since this department is not ranked all that well in my field. I also received an impersonal letter saying that a decision had been made on the webpage. An additional problem was that I could not remember what in the world my password was! If you remember, they actually assigned it to you, so it was something that I had to look up by going through my e-mail. Sure enough, I received the same type of letter that you are talking about.

[boab]

Sometimes one professor can be overruled. It's not their fault; it happens.

The committee's process is interesting. Some of these programs have a ridiculous number of applicants and have to choose a handful. One professor may really want a particular candidate, but everyone has their pet applicant. Sometimes a professor might not even get one student in that year's group. So, again, don't take it personally.

An MA program to which I applied (once upon a time) apparently had a throw-down cage match over my application. My potential advisor said no, and two or three other professors, one of whom was the grad director, said yes. I made it to the final round, but they couldn't convince him that my language prep was adequate. I got a nice email from the potential advisor explaining this (perhaps not quite in these terms, but close). I still wonder if the advisor emailed me because he chose to do so, or if the committee said, "Fine, but you're going to tell her and explain that it wasn't our choice!" I thought it was a little funny.

Did you make the mistake of stressing in your Personal Statement how much you wanted to work for this particular advisor? This is what I did. If I had made my Personal Statement more broad, I am pretty sure that I would have been accpeted to the school. After all, I was admitted into other places that are ranked better. By the way, I have generally found that it is not in your best interest to be "loyal" to any particular faculty member in your statement. Does anyone else have any experience with this?

[Canadianpolsci]

I've noticed that the better the program, the more considerate and carefully worded their rejections are. I've also noticed the same thing with acceptances.

Well, all I can say is: Princeton's rejections was REALLY polite. The emailed me, and apologized for emailed and not writing -- saying they thought informality was excusable because of speed. Dude, that's a GREAT rejection. I mean, I really appreciated a FORM REJECTION EMAIL. Princeton is known for excellence in many areas. Here is another subject to add to the list.

[JordanJames]

Well, all I can say is: Princeton's rejections was REALLY polite. The emailed me, and apologized for emailed and not writing -- saying they thought informality was excusable because of speed. Dude, that's a GREAT rejection. I mean, I really appreciated a FORM REJECTION EMAIL. Princeton is known for excellence in many areas. Here is another subject to add to the list.

lol. I'm looking forward to reading my Harvard rejection, I've heard good things.

[Louiselab]

---------

[samantha20]

Did the professor or administrator at Harvard really write that to you?

[snagsby52]

Not for real?! I have not received any personal rejections. I second that question--did the professor from Harvard really say that? I don't want to read the rejection when I get it if there is going to be a personal note like that. :shock:

[Louiselab]

---------

[Minnesotan]

[quote name="Louiselab

[Southeast Penn]

I know it's impractical, but I really want to see some small degree of personalization beyond just my name in a rejection letter. Even if they just check a box from a list of reasons why you weren't accepted (... drastically underqualified... poor GPA... not 'diverse' enough) it would be more helpful than it currently is. Unless you call up the department and get someone unusually helpful on the line, chances are you'll never really know the exact reason why you didn't make the cut.

Because, you know, it's incredibly impractical for me to spend $50 or more working on this application only to get a one page form letter in return, polite as it may be. We should demand more from our rejection letters.

[ellahowe]

I know a lot of admissions offices are probably slammed right now (some more than others apparently), but have you thought about calling or emailing someone on the admissions committee? In the midst of a panic attack this week, I called Indiana (Bloomington) about the delay in PhD admissions. I spoke with an admissions professor who went through the high and low points of my application with me (sub-par subject scores, but strong writing sample; great recs, but apparently my personal statement lacked specific reference to Indiana faculty--And she was right!!--My interest in Indiana had more to do with its overall reputation; I never really considered faculty support). This was much more helpful (and oddly, satisfying) than the generic letter I received from them this afternoon.

Chin up.

[boab]

Although I was not able to read the rude Harvard letter, I see what you mean when you say that personal letters could be ugly as hell as well. I understand where you are coming from 100%. It is an unfortunate fact that a lot of faculty members seem to be utterly lacking when it comes to basic social skills. I guess that he has some sort of distorted idea that he is going to be the next Einstein or something. Whatever.

By the way, do you think that Einstein needed five brilliant Ph.D. students and three postdocs? Let's face it, all you need is a piece of paper and a pencil when you are Einstein. I am not trying to put anyone down here. All I am saying is that some of these people take themselves WAY to seriously.

[halifax]

By the way, I have generally found that it is not in your best interest to be "loyal" to any particular faculty member in your statement. Does anyone else have any experience with this?

I mentioned faculty members (at least one in each SOP) in all five of my apps: I was accepted to my top two choices(one Ivy), and each professor I mentioned emailed me congratulating me on my acceptance and then proceeded to tell me they were excited to work with me. For my top school I mentioned two professors, and in my second choice, I included references to three. Of course, I had also contacted them way before I submitted my applications and exchanged some great emails over the course of the application process. I was rejected to schools 3 and 5 on my list, and am waiting on number 4.

My point is, I'm not sure if mentioning the professors' names helped or hurt me...it can only have helped with the schools I was accepted to--I was told by many of these professors that it was my writing sample (my completed thesis) that excited them the most. Of course, the subject of my thesis meshed perfectly with their own research so that, too, is always helpful.

What does everyone else thing? To name or not to name?

[Minnesotan]

Name, but do not imply you would only work with that one professor. Saying your research interests mesh with professors X, Y, and Z is normally helpful, and expected.

[historygirl]

boab - That professor was the only one in the department in my subfield, so making my SOP more broad wasn't possible. It didn't matter, as I was accepted to several other programs. I just like the idea that they were fighting over me

[boab]

Name, but do not imply you would only work with that one professor. Saying your research interests mesh with professors X, Y, and Z is normally helpful, and expected.

You make an excellent point here. There is nothing wrong with the idea of mentioning the names of faculty members who interest you. In fact, this is probably a good idea. What you do NOT want to do is to be overly "loyal" to a single person in such a way that it implies that you are not interested in anyone else. Even if this individual seems highly interested in you, you would be surprised at how quickly he will forget about you and dump you.

[eve2008]

You make an excellent point here. There is nothing wrong with the idea of mentioning the names of faculty members who interest you. In fact, this is probably a good idea. What you do NOT want to do is to be overly "loyal" to a single person in such a way that it implies that you are not interested in anyone else. Even if this individual seems highly interested in you, you would be surprised at how quickly he will forget about you and dump you.

I think naming helps them figure out who to send your files to during the admission process. At some schools where I applied, I was told that after surviving the first cut, the committee sent my application to the faculty I explicitly named in my statement for further review.

I also communicated with faculty before I applied, but this felt a little awkward. In some situations, they were incredibly enthusiastic. Others had an attitude of, "get in first, then we'll talk." Still others never replied. I think contacting faculty in advance can be a good thing if you're brief and ask good questions.

But yes, I think you should definitely mention specific faculty in your statement! Even better, be familiar with their work. However, this should not form the bulk of your statement. I saved it for one of the final paragraphs, where I elaborated why I wanted to attend program X and which faculty had research interests that I felt meshed with mine.