Will Review YOUR SOP

[tskinner]

Hello everybody!

I got a lot of help from this board when I was applying to programs last year, and now I'm working full time at a job before I start my program. I have LOTS of time on my hands at work, so I figured I would offer to look over some SOP.

Just PM me and I'll read it over, do a couple edits, and give you a few pointers. I won't do anything like a massive rewrite, but you don't have to worry about me stealing any of your ideas at least!

-tskinner

Edited August 10, 2010 by tskinner

[mrmirv]

WOW! I may take you up on that! I was curious though if you could either post your SOP or give us some basic tips on what you feel works and does not work. You got into a great school, so I would be curious what you did on the SOP. Thanks!

[tskinner]

Here is my statement of purpose, but keep in mind that it is somewhat out of the ordinary. In my undergrad, I actually only took two classes in Political Science (both in my first two years), so I had the spend the majority of it outlining my passion and proficiency in other areas that would lend itself to political science. Therefore, my SOP is a little more unfocused than I would recommend--ESPECIALLY THE PARAGRAPH ON PROPOSED FUTURE RESEARCH. That paragraph is probably the most important one you right. They do not expect you to know what you want to research for the next five years, and in fact know that you WILL change your mind, but they want to see that you can logically think out a research plan and have a grasp of the current research of the field.

Know that if you take my SOP and simply swap the information with yours, you will not get into the programs you apply to. Combined with your personal statement and writing sample, they will see through this attempt when the writing styles/levels do not match. It's the same when you steal someone's writing sample. Use this to take outlining ideas and to spark some inspiration.

Also, don't get attached to anything you write. After inspiration struck one night, I wrote my entire SOP and LOVED every bit of it. I sent it off to my academic advisor and got this response:

Let me be one of the first people to say to you: "This is good. Now throw it away and start over." (Trust me, you'll hear that a lot when you get to the dissertation stage.)

Also, being an English nerd, I wrote with a lot of passion and drama, and he said this:

You need to tone down the writing a bit. Social science writing tends to be a bit more dry, and you will come off as more desirable if you can write in ways that they are familiar with.

The other main tips I would give is to be succinct. Don't say something with a paragraph that you can say with two sentences; don't say something with 8 words when 2 will suffice. Don't make you statement longer than what they give you (they'll be looking for any reason to throw out your app and move on to the next), and if they don't give you a limit, keep it to just two pages (the adcomm will appreciate the brevity).

Most importantly, show your personality. Be genuine and HUMBLE. If you've ever been to poliscijobrumors.com then you know what people already in the field think of prospective grad students. If you say that you are the best candidate out there, they won't believe you; if you say that you're ready to publish from day one, they'll think you arrogant. Let them know that you know that you have a long way to go, and that's why you want to go to grad school!

Always write a paragraph on program fit, but don't stress out about it too much. They know your research interest WILL change, and they're really just more interested in knowing that you didn't just apply to ten schools that you picked out of a hat without researching them. I literally took my final paragraph and inserted different names and institutions. That'll work fine.

Lastly, make EVERYONE read it over. Write it soon so that you can give it to your academic advisor, and when he gets it back to you 3 months later, you should still have plenty of time to do a complete rewrite! Have your friends edit it, and encourage them to be completely candid! If you're truly passionate about the subject, you should be able to bang one out in an hour or two--then you'll throw it away and start over. Just sit down and write something stream of consciousness and start from there! Good luck!

By the time I arrived in Japan for my semester abroad, I had already made the decision

to pursue a career in politics. With vague plans of joining the Foreign Service’s management

track, I had decided to go to business school after graduating. However, on April 5th, 2009,

North Korea fired the Unha-2 rocket over Japan. While watching the evening news with my

host family, I realized that embassy work would not be enough for me. Wanting to know why

North Korea, a country already shunned by the international community, would take such a risk,

I thought back to my literature review for International Research Methods on the effects of

missile defense systems on the probability of conflict. Before the attack, Japan did flex its

defense muscles, but I knew that there were many variables, debates, and problems, such as

whether “rogue states” truly act recklessly or if economic sanctions are actually effective, that I

had yet to study. I decided to pursue graduate studies so that I could better comprehend the

nature of interstate interaction and, through a career in academic research, contribute to

understanding the nature of conflict and cooperation between states.

Having had over a dozen foreign exchange students stay with my family while growing

up, I have always been fascinated with and connected to the international world . This led to

my eventual decision to spend my undergraduate career at the School of International Studies

at University of the Pacific. Through their interdisciplinary approach to international relations, I

have gained perspectives ranging from the anthropological to the historical, from the

geographic to the political. My interdisciplinary training allows me to apply a variety of

contexts to questions in political science. For example, when looking at the question of stability

between states, not only can I consider realist factors of power balance in a uni-, bi-, or

multipolar system in common examples like the Cold War and European conflicts, but I can also

draw upon the fourth century B.C. warring states of China and the stateless societies of pre-

colonial Africa. Moreover, I can consider deeper details, such as cultural conflicts between

Israel and Palestine, the nuanced differences between Sunni and Shi’a Islam, and the

geographic importance of a small island off the southeast coast of Korea. There is, however,

always more to learn, both historically and theoretically.

Also through my studies, I have gained a solid foundation in both qualitative and

quantitative methods. In Cultural Anthropology and International Research Methods , I

practiced ethnographic interviews and analysis with college students and community members .

This, coupled with further cultural research methods from Cross-Cultural Training, was

especially useful while studying and researching in Japan. The tools I acquired allowed me to

take daily experiences and turn them into data for the papers I wrote on Japanese society and

the Japanese state.

Along with this qualitative training, my emphasis has been strongly quantitative. In

International Research Methods, I also conducted quota sample surveys and used SPSS and

tools learned in Statistics to form regression models and test hypotheses . Moreover, through

my wide range of economic studies, I have learned how different economists have used models

to describe the world. Next semester I will finish multivariate calculus and conclude my

program with an Econometrics research project. Graduate school will allow me to take these

tools and combine them with the foundations I have established in Comparative and

International Politics to begin answering questions and testing hypotheses.

After watching the Japanese missile crisis unfold, researching the effects missile defense

systems, and debating the nature of conflict at the International Youth Leadership Conference

in Prague, my interests in international relations have gravitated toward universal issues of

warfare and cooperation. Some of the traditional topics that intrigue me include international

politics, security policy, and the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction . My primary

research interest, however, is conflict termination. In the past, when enemies were as clearly

defined as the Third Reich or the Iron Curtain, the endpoint of war was clear: defeat of the

enemy. Now that the enemy is frequently ideas themselves, as we see in the War on Terror, it

has become less clear when to cease fire. By using qualitative methods and looking at data on

variables like goal achievement, domestic political unrest, and casualty trends in a wide range

of conflicts, I hope to bring the field closer to understanding how contemporary conflict has

changed and help mitigate its impact.

University of California: San Diego will provide me with the necessary resources to

answer these questions. By utilizing the Institute on Global Conflict and Cooperation’s work on

international security policy, regional relations, and innovations in international cooperation, I

will be able to further both my education and my research outside of the classroom . Moreover,

the research topics of Dr. Branislav L. Slantvhev in interwar negotiations and war termination,

of Dr. Barbara F. Walter concerning conflict termination and cooperation, and of Dr. Erik A.

Gartzke in information and war particularly dovetail with my interests. Also, courses like Game

Theory and Quantitative International Relations will be instrumental in supporting my future

dissertation work. With these resources and mentors, I hope to make significant contributions

to the field of International Relations. After earning my PhD, I plan to move into a faculty

position to continue my research and bring the world closer to understanding the dynamics of

the international sphere.

[tskinner]

Also, see: for a lot more examples. Take a look at the signatures of posters to see where they got in!

[American in Beijing]

I'd like to second the offer to review SOPs, if anyone is looking for a more humanities-oriented approach. However, this is a limited-time offer! I will only look at and comment on them up until August 23rd.

I'm not sure I'm 100% comfortable posting my own SOP on this forum. However, if you are applying this year and you ask, I will more than likely let you look at mine.

[poli90]

I'd also be happy to give some comments on political theory SOPs, also from a more humanities perspective.

[GopherGrad]

This is really wonderful of you guys, but I doubt I'll have my SoP in shape for another month. Hopefully you'll all still have time then...

[understatement700]

Out of curiosity could you tell us what schools you got into and didn't get in to? Thanks.

[APGradApplicant]

Tskinner is an all around good guy for agreeing to look over people's SOPs! As a fellow 2009/10 admit cycle veteran of his, I would be happy to do the same thing and to share mine (although I think it is indeed posted somewhere). You can probably tell from my profile where I go now but I did scratch out my signature with admits/rejects when the cycle was over for a reason. That said, if you want to PM me I'll be happy to let you know all of my outcomes- the good, the bad and the ugly. Good luck to everyone applying this season!