Evaluate me sop

[ankit18]

From my earlychildhood till today, my most remarkable characteristics have been my curiosityto learn new topics. My keen interest for learning new ideas, when combinedwith my inner desire to reach a degree of excellence in every piece of work Iperform, enabled me to acquire significant knowledge on various aspects ofnature and technology, as well as leading me through a successful educationalcareer.

 

Throughout mystudent career I have been a top ranking student. I have done justice to mypotential by contributing notably to the research works in our college as wellas maintaining my academic rank within the top 10% of the students in my class.

 

During my bachelorsalthough I took courses on Software Engineering, Computer Networks, DataStructures, Computer Architecture, Operating Systems, Computer Graphics, Designand Analysis of Algorithms, Microprocessors, Artificial Intelligence,Fundamentals of Computer Science, Mobile Programming etc. but the courses thatheld my interest the most were Artificial Intelligence, Database ManagementSystems & Network Security. My undergraduate studies have not only helpedme strengthen my basics, but also have converted my initial enthusiasm into deepfascination for the subject.

 

Besides thetheoretical knowledge that I gained from my studies, I am also working on aproject in a company that is helping me in gaining practical knowledge. Thishas been invaluable experience for me since I am learning the serviceabilityand functionality of various real world applications. Here I am getting theknowledge of the actual usage of various computer technologies in a real worldapplication.

 

Aside from theacademic life, I like to participate in the social activities that take placein my college or my neighborhoods. These social activities have improved myinterpersonal skills and enabled me to appreciate the value of how precious itis to participate in an activity whose members come from different backgrounds.Furthermore, I am always ready in offering my helpful hands to my juniors tomake them understand the concepts.

 

I have keen interestin doing investigative and innovative work, particularly when it leads topractical applications. The vision for my career has always been a job thatinvolves creativity, innovation and flexibility.

 

After obtaining myM. S. degree in Computer Science, I plan to pursue Ph. D studies. The degree ofM.S. would make me more technically knowledgeable and would help me in reaching my ultimate goal of my life and boost my career and will prepare me to undertake research. Moreover, the technical challenges encountered in the graduate program will provide motivation and opportunity for methodological innovation. My ultimate goal in my career is to make a commendable contribution to the computing world either by starting an innovative venture or doing research which would change the dimensions of future computing and the way we perceive the computers.

 

My aspiration to pursue a graduate program in Washington University in St. Louis  is underscored bythe fact that it offers the flexibility needed for an in-depth understanding of the vast and rapidly changing field of computer science. The fact that fascinate me to pursue graduate degree from WashU isthat I would get the opportunity to work under the guidance of the distinguished faculty members of the this university. I am convinced that the facilities in the department of computer science in your university will be very useful for dedicated involvement in research projects. It would be a great    experience for me if I get opportunity to work under researchers like WeixiongZhang, Bill Smart who has immensely contributed in research for the areas of Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning. I believe that a graduate program, in Computer Science in this University, will help me reach my goals.

 

As a student in the final year of undergraduate study for a Bachelor of Engineering degree in Information Technology, I look to graduate study to refine my knowledge and skills in my areas of interest. I believe it will also serve to give direction to my goal of a career as a research professional at an academic or commercial,research-oriented organization. I intend to pursue an MS degree in order to reach that goal.

 

 

[tunicoberno]

If you do plan to pursue a PhD after the MS, I recomend you to apply for PhD instead of MS.

Your SOP should contain more about the university.

[mewtwo]

This is going to sound harsh, but here's my honest opinion

1. I hope that all of the missing spaces are an artifact of copy/pasting (though the spelling in this and your other post make me somewhat doubt it)
2. Your SOP grammar errors.
3. Paragraphs 2 and 3 don't tell the readers anything they didn't already know
4. Paragraph 4 is highly generic and doesn't say anything about what you did, only that you worked on "aproject"
5. Same problem with paragraph 5. What kinds of social activities did you take part in?
6. Paragraph 6: Why are you interested in doing research? This two sentence paragraph doesn't give anything beyond the name of the field to which you're applying.
7. Finally there's some substance towards the beginning of paragraph 7 (why you're pursuing an MS), but it's still a terribly generic paragraph. This is your statement of purpose. Make it about you, not about the average prospective grad student.
8. I've never seen underscored used in that way, but good opening sentence to the second-to-last paragraph.
9. The rest of your paragraph is weak. You mention two professors with a very generic remark.
10. The last sentence makes everything look like you were playing mad libs with your SoP.
11. The last paragraph doesn't add anything

[ZeChocMoose]

This is going to sound harsh, but here's my honest opinion

1. I hope that all of the missing spaces are an artifact of copy/pasting (though the spelling in this and your other post make me somewhat doubt it)
2. Your SOP grammar errors.
3. Paragraphs 2 and 3 don't tell the readers anything they didn't already know
4. Paragraph 4 is highly generic and doesn't say anything about what you did, only that you worked on "aproject"
5. Same problem with paragraph 5. What kinds of social activities did you take part in?
6. Paragraph 6: Why are you interested in doing research? This two sentence paragraph doesn't give anything beyond the name of the field to which you're applying.
7. Finally there's some substance towards the beginning of paragraph 7 (why you're pursuing an MS), but it's still a terribly generic paragraph. This is your statement of purpose. Make it about you, not about the average prospective grad student.
8. I've never seen underscored used in that way, but good opening sentence to the second-to-last paragraph.
9. The rest of your paragraph is weak. You mention two professors with a very generic remark.
10. The last sentence makes everything look like you were playing mad libs with your SoP.
11. The last paragraph doesn't add anything

I agree with mewtwo. I also would avoid a running list of all the courses that you have taken that you think may relate. They can get this from your transcripts and it is very awk to read.

Also the part about the social activities-- I don't understand how this is relevant to your application. Does the application question specifically ask this?

[speed]

The whole SOP is too generic...I cannot see you, it can be written by anyone. What makes you unique?

I will just give one example you write:

"I am also working on aproject in a company that is helping me in gaining practical knowledge. Thishas been invaluable experience for me since I am learning the serviceabilityand functionality of various real world applications. Here I am getting theknowledge of the actual usage of various computer technologies in a real worldapplication."

what project? what exactly are you doing? why is it helping you? the adcomm wants details

look over your entire SOP that way and change it