Thanking your Referees.

[Poppet]

I have three referees who have been exceptionally good to me, and who I have pestered like crazy without the slightest suggestion from any of them that I was being a brat. One of my professors was even on sabbatical and frequently out of the city - if not the country - when my references were due. She would come into the city to personally drop them off for me, which I think was completely beyond the call of duty. I think very highly of all of them and I know that the inverse is also true. I have also started receiving successful responses because of their efforts, so I would like to thank them accordingly. I have been very gracious in my emails already, but I would like to send them cards also.

What I don't really know though, is when I am supposed to send these cards - now? I might be asking for another reference in a few weeks, should I wait until then? Do I send a card after each batch? I don't want them to seem like tokens, either. Additionally, I suspect that I am going to be deferring some admissions this year and probably bugging my referees all over again next year, so I don't them to think that I don't appreciate how much of an inconvenience this all is for them.

Finally, is it appropriate to make additional gestures? I would love, for example, to buy each of them a box of chocolates or a bottle of wine or something like that to demonstrate my appreciation, but I'm really not sure if this is considered appropriate. I don't feel like a simple thank you card is enough.

[curiouslyidling]

I have several of the same questions - I was planning on sending them thank you cards now, as the last of my applications have been submitted and granted that I get in, I won't be asking for any more letters. I was also thinking about including a gift card to a local coffee shop for my two professors, and maybe something a little more personal for my old internship mentor.

[newms]

I gave a thank you card and it was appreciated. I've read that some profs might take offence if you give something expensive, so if you are going to give something, make it thoughtful and just a token and after they've sent in all your letters. You don't want the mis-perception that you're giving them something so that they write the letter for you. In your case, since you're asking them in multiple stages, perhaps you can send thank you emails/phone calls after each stage and then a card or small token when you're done.

[MoJingly]

It depends on your relationship with them. For two of my recommenders that I see every day, I baked a plate of my favorite cookies (they have frequently tried the cookies I bring in occasionally, so it wasn't out of the blue). My other recommender and I have a more formal relationship so I simply wrote a thank-you card.

[Poppet]

Thanks Newms, that's exactly what I was concerned about. I don't want to look like I'm buying them off, but I simultaneously don't want to seem unappreciative.

I also like the idea of a gift card, that hadn't occurred to me. So next question - how much money do you put on the gift card? $10? $5? $20?

[communications13]

I sent cookies to my recomenders and a thank you note. I'd say that most recomendeers would most like a thank you note that tells them what your final decision was and that thier recommendation helped get you to this next exciting step/how they positively influenced you.

My two cents on cost of gift if that is the route you decide to go (although it's not nessesary!) is try not to go over 10$. When you think of something, reverse the situation, if you wrote several recs for someone, what would you feel comfortable recieving?

[Scottielass]

It depends on your relationship with them. For two of my recommenders that I see every day, I baked a plate of my favorite cookies (they have frequently tried the cookies I bring in occasionally, so it wasn't out of the blue). My other recommender and I have a more formal relationship so I simply wrote a thank-you card.

I went the baked goods route, too . I am known as quite the foodie in my department. I gave homemade breads/thank you cards to my LoR writers and my profs who helped me with my personal statement. Plus, the baking has been cathartic while I'm waiting for a decision.