Late interviews and laziness

[arkel]

I've been invited to an interview in Mid-March. I've already said I would go and purchased my plane ticket, but I'm seriously debating about whether or not to attend...

I consider myself very fortunate to have had the opportunity to interview at several schools...but now after consecutive weeks of interviews I'm feeling totally exhausted and as though everything at home is suffering (no time for groceries, so not eating right, everything is messy, I'm sleep-deprived, and I'm feeling guilty about missing so much work...).

I've also recently been accepted to a program I'm really excited about. The upcoming interview is at a great school, and the lab does work very relevant to my interests; however when I talked to the POI on the phone, it didn't sound like there would be a lot of freedom in deciding on projects (perhaps this is contributing to my hesitation to visit). Also, maybe I'm recruiting some subconscious strategy to make my eventual choice easier by eliminating alternatives before I'm too invested in them??

I'm sure many of you are in this situation, or have been in the past. Are you planning to just stick it out, regardless of burnout? Did you ever regret not going to an interview? I guess they're always good opportunities for meeting professors and students, and I don't want to offend anyone by not going...but I really have no enthusiasm for this interview.

Hearing about any experiences you've had would be so helpful!

Cheers

Edited February 23, 2011 by arkel

[meepboop]

Hi arkel,

I am in the same exact situation. I attended 4 interviews during the past 3 weeks, and I am exhausted! I have one more coming up in March, and I don't really feel like attending anymore. I have also been accepted into a different program that I like alot, but I still think that it is important to attend this last interview (in case I like the last school better!). I've decided to stick through it (& hopefully regain some enthusiasm during this brief downtime!). I think that you should attend the last interview as well, and try to refocus on why you applied there in the first place (you may visit and end up liking it the best!).

Best of luck,

meep

Edited February 23, 2011 by meepboop

[LJK]

I only have done one interview and have just one more, but am in the midst of running participants every possible hour to get my thesis experiments done so my life is resembling yours from the sounds of it. I totally understand being tired, etc. but this is your future. I'm going to call upon Robert Frost for some wisdom here. You have a couple of different paths open to you and you owe it to yourself to look down each of them before making your decision. Besides, it is always a good thing to meet professors who are doing work related to what you want to do. Maybe you don't want to go to that school now but in 5 years your POI could be looking for a post-doc, or further down the line, this professor might get asked to do an external tenure review for you (presuming you are looking to be a professor).

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Edited February 23, 2011 by LJK

[greengrass2]

I think you should go. The academic world is quite small, so you'll likely run into the faculty (from the school you're hesistant to visit) again. It's tough, but the interviews are almost over; make the sacrifice to save your name And like the above post mentioned it, maybe this will even top your current first choice!

[indydream]

About what you said about subconsciously eliminating choices - I have definitely been doing that too. For a while every time I got new information about the school I was leaning towards, I convinced myself it was a good thing (even if it wasn't) and every time I got new information about the school I was thinking I wouldn't attend, I convinced myself it was a negative (even if it wasn't!) But then I visited the school I thought I would NOT attend and I actually ended up loving it. Somehow, even though technically it made my decision harder (if I even get into either of these places!), it's also made me feel better knowing I have TWO great potential options. So I would say go - maybe it will force your pesky subconscious to notice things you haven't noticed yet!

Also I echo what people said before- it's good to meet the people who will potentially be your colleagues. I totally get the burnout though, and at the end of the day it's your choice. If you really feel like it will be a healthier decision to cancel the interview, go for it and don't worry about it.

[arkel]

Thank you all for your excellent advice (and poem - loved it!)

You've given me some much-needed perspective. There really is no good reason for me to not visit this school, and I shouldn't just give up now that things are almost done!

I definitely think that I've been discounting schools before I even visit because I am truly dreading a difficult decision. When the time comes, I will try to keep an open mind!

Also, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one feeling totally drained by this process, so thanks for empathizing

Edited February 24, 2011 by arkel

[arkel]

As an update....

Thanks in no small part to your excellent advice, I attended the late interview this weekend.

I was still feeling kind of reluctant to go, but I tried to keep an open mind...and it ended up being really great! So great, in fact, that it will make my final decision much more difficult (if I am accepted here). Regardless of the possibility of extra decision stress, I'm glad I gave myself the opportunity to explore all of my options, and when I do decide, I will know that I had all of the information I could gather.

Thank you again for putting everything in perspective! I hope all of your late interviews go well!

[neuropsych76]

As an update....

Thanks in no small part to your excellent advice, I attended the late interview this weekend.

I was still feeling kind of reluctant to go, but I tried to keep an open mind...and it ended up being really great! So great, in fact, that it will make my final decision much more difficult (if I am accepted here). Regardless of the possibility of extra decision stress, I'm glad I gave myself the opportunity to explore all of my options, and when I do decide, I will know that I had all of the information I could gather.

Thank you again for putting everything in perspective! I hope all of your late interviews go well!

Congratulations on your interviews and I'm glad they went well!!

I was in a similar boat with two interviews and I decided to turn one down and go to the other for many of the reasons you mentioned. The one I turned down was my very last choice but a part of me does wish I checked it out at least (though i would feel bad taking another students spot since I wasn't really interested)

[arkel]

Congratulations on your interviews and I'm glad they went well!!

I was in a similar boat with two interviews and I decided to turn one down and go to the other for many of the reasons you mentioned. The one I turned down was my very last choice but a part of me does wish I checked it out at least (though i would feel bad taking another students spot since I wasn't really interested)

Thanks! And congrats on your interview invites!

I definitely think it's understandable to skip out on an interview for a bottom school. I guess in my situation I was not excited about it, but there was no logical reason for me not to be excited about it (great school, great fit, etc.). Probably my subconscious playing tricks on me