Asking to defer after being accepted off the waitlist to teach abroad

[mostlytoasty]

The last few months have been putting a lot of pressure on me and my SO of 6 years as my options to choose from continue to decrease with each rejection

I'm currently waitlisted at U of M. On one hand it is one of my dream schools, on the other hand, Michigan happens to be the one place my SO has a problem with moving to for personal, family related reasons. He's basically not ready to move there just yet, especially since he will just be finishing up his schooling this spring (he's a transfer student; I finished in December). In a nut shell, if I went to U of M, he'd go abroad to teach for a year and then move to Michigan afterward. I support his desire to want to take a break from school and experience a different country; we do have long-term plans together, and think this would be good for us.

Here's the problem... I'm not even sure if I'll be admitted yet, so we've been putting together a Plan B that if I don't get in, we'll move abroad together for a year to teach English in my mom's native country. She's well-connected there and could get us a decent paying job. The problem is: the more I think about Plan B, the more I actually feel compelled to go through with it. Now, I ABSOLUTELY want to get my doctorate, in fact, if it weren't for those personal issues I'd would be attending right away, granted I got in. I'm not doubting my desire to go into a six-year graduate program at all, but I do think this opportunity to teach kids abroad would be immensely satisfying/valuable life experience, one I probably won't have after I finish my PhD (I'd want to get settled somewhere in the US with a job and start a family around that point).

My question is.. what are your thoughts on IF I get in off the waitlist, asking to defer? My case doesn't look very strong at this point: I want to live abroad and teach, earn some money (well, I have no loans and the school is offering full funding and a fellowship, so this couldn't be totally necessary), and compromise with my SO. I'm not sure how I'd make a convincing case that this experience would benefit myself as a future scholar (it will, for sure, I just don't know how to put it).

I know I should have considered teaching abroad as an option before I applied this season, but the truth is it didn't cross my mind because I was so eager/set on entering a program, and still am. Before getting rejections/implicit rejections, I also thought I'd have more options location-wise. Anyway, I don't want my dream school to see me as flaky or wishy-washy because I am very committed to pursing a PhD, it's just that I think a year off would do my life some good. I'm also guessing that deferring is a hassle for the department?

Sorry I am freaking out so much over a hypothetical situation. Perhaps if I get in my desire to pursue Plan B will disappear and I'll just go this fall, eh? But any thoughts would be appreciated.

[nhyn]

If I have an option to take another year off and pursue something like your plan B, I'd it in a heartbeat. Like you, I'm sure I want to do my PhD, but I also think I'm still too young and this might be the only time I can just pick up a random job, have fun with it, and quit with little consequence. So I'd say...ask, politely, your school if deferring is an option. If you phrase it right, I don't think it will do any harm (never hurts to ask). I mean, after all, they ACCEPTED you (as in, they will have accepted you when you are in the position to ask for deferment) You can phrase it in a way that might make it relevant to your future research, even. I know someone who deferred a psych PhD to do a masters in education and also to join various dance groups and just take a break from her field for a while, and her advisor was so supportive that she even bought tickets for the lab to one of the student's performance. Advisors can be supportive too, you know? ^^ Good luck!

Edited March 3, 2011 by nhyn

[joenobody0]

I seriously question if they'd be willing to give you a deferral off of the waitlist. Not to be rude, but you are already not one of their top choices. Why would they admit you then defer you a year, instead of just admitting someone else off the waitlist that actually wants to attend right now? The goal of the waitlist is to fill the incoming cohort group. Your situation is directly opposite that aim. It never hurts to ask, but you'd be in a far better position to defer if you were their 100% top choice.

[mostlytoasty]

Thanks nhyn! I feel like the answers are right in front of me but I'm in the haze of March, so it's good to hear a comment like yours.

I picked up a random job (restaurant hostess) last month and while it's kinda fun, I hate it and can't wait to quit (soon)!

joe: that's a very good point. I would like to think, however, waitlisted applicants are not valued any less by committee members than the people already admitted, at least from what I've heard from my POIs and other students admitted off waitlists.

Edited March 3, 2011 by mostlytoasty

[joenobody0]

joe: that's a very good point. I would like to think, however, waitlisted applicants are not valued any less by committee members than the people already admitted, at least from what I've heard from my POIs and other students admitted off waitlists.

I actually do know someone who deferred a PhD admit off the waitlist at Stanford a few years ago. It is definitely a possibility, but don't be too surprised to get a "No." Good luck though!

Edited March 3, 2011 by joenobody0

[jaxzwolf]

If you're waitlisted at U of M and haven't received (and don't end up receiving) any other offers, would you be willing to throw in the towel on U of M and apply again next year? If you're really interested in teaching abroad and you think it will be a good opportunity and experience, I'd say go for it. Spend your year elsewhere and come back next year to try again. Unless you're considering U of M for specific reasons (i.e. it's your dream school, top-choice school, the only school you want to attend, the best fit for your research interests, etc.) it would seem to make sense to take a break, do something you'd enjoy, and come back at it for another round. Teaching abroad would broaden your experience and would add a little extra something to your CV. If you can work it in to contribute some relevancy to your future intended research topic(s), all the better, as that will strengthen your candidacy and potentially net you offers at schools in the future.

If U of M is your final goal, it won't hurt at all to ask for a deferral if you're accepted off the waitlist. After all, the worst they can say is no, and then the decision will be made for you.

EDIT: Just re-read the additional post and saw that you mentioned U of M is your dream school. If that's the case, then there shouldn't be any harm in asking. If they say yes, you can go, if not, well... then you're off to U of M in the fall, eh?

Edited March 3, 2011 by jaxzwolf

[The Dudester]

My only thought is that your deferral might end up costing someone a spot who really badly wants to go this year and has no backup plan like you do. I wouldn't want to do that.

[juilletmercredi]

I will say this: I regret not taking 1-2 years off and teaching abroad before this program. It was one of my dreams and I gave it up because I got into a prestigious program that doesn't allow deferrals. I really, really wish I had. So if this is something you want to do, I say that you do it, because it's a lot harder to do it once you've got the PhD (or in the middle of the program).

My only thought is that your deferral might end up costing someone a spot who really badly wants to go this year and has no backup plan like you do. I wouldn't want to do that.

I would hate for this to sound callous but...you have to do what's best for you, honestly. The program has a choice about whether they want to fill your spot with someone else for this year and then leave a spot open for you for next year, or not to. I think everyone applying to grad school has a responsibility to come up with a Plan B, because there's always the chance you won't get in. I also don't see how OP's deferral is going to cost someone else a spot? In any case, OP really wants to go badly too, and I don't know why one person's desire should be weighted over the other's.

[hupr]

Stranger things have happened, but I think it's very unlikely that they'd allow a deferral from the waitlist.

If you get in, you can probably take a leave of absence later without losing your spot. If you're not ready to go to school, then do yourself a favor and go do something else for a while.