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letting references know about acceptances?


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I'm so sorry, this feels like a really silly thing to ask about, but maybe some of you can shed some light. The people who wrote my LORs have been wonderful and supportive throughout this whole messy process, and all of them asked me to let them know when I heard back from schools. I'm hearing back now, and, excitingly and unexpectedly, I've gotten a lot of good news. I feel really lucky and this is in no way intended to complain about this comparatively really tiny issue; I'm just trying to navigate some etiquette. What I'm wondering, I guess, is what's appropriate in terms of telling my references, or if I should at all. Basically, I am morbidly shy about things like this, and it feels incredibly braggy to me to be like "DEAR ADVISOR GUESS WHAT I TOTALLY GOT IN TO SCHOOLS A AND B" - especially if "let me know how it goes!" is just a polite thing people say when they write recommendations. On the other hand, they helped me so much with all of this, they're involved, and it feels like I should be telling them (and like it's maybe a little weird that sharing good news feels like forcible dental surgery?). So! What do people generally do, and how?

Thanks so much for the help!

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Don't over think this. Obviously it's going to be 'braggy' if you write it like that. Just keep it simple, straightforward, and measured. "Dear [x], I'm writing to let you know that I have received offers of admission from x,y,z. I am very excited about these opportunities, and sincerely appreciate your support through the process". You could also ask for advice re: your final decision, and whatever other details you want to add.

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I e-mailed one of my references (a former boss) to let her know that I got into one of my two schools thus far, but not the others. I have more of a personal relationship with this reference than the others. I'll probably send a brief e-mail to the effect of wtncffts' suggestion to the other two once I get the second decision.

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  • 3 weeks later...

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