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How did you figure out what you wanted to do as a career?


Bobbi

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Thanks a lot, Mal83. I actually read your entire post, and it was very entertaining. I'm sorry that you had to go through all that in order to figure out what you wanted to do, but it's reassuring to know that I have good company in the "Drifters Club". I heard the Peace Corps is not at all an easy job, so good for you.

glad I could provide a bit of reassurance, I do tend to yammer in threads like these, it just flows out then I post it and I'm like yikes who's going to read this? But anyway, of course if I could change anything at all about my years as a drifting undergrad it would simply be not jumping into some course of study only because it was completely opposite of what I found to be too difficult. Like I felt like I took the cheap easy way out. I would have just allowed myself to drift, but that's what was scary at the time...drifting. As for the rest of it, sure it was a little more costly, in time and money, but I don't have any regrets and I'm not sorry about it, all of it led to me to a point where I'm at peace with the direction I'm going in.

So what's your next step? Are going to school?

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I also figured out my next step in Peace Corps, although it wasn't so much a narrowing-down as it was a semi-accidental optimization curve.

I was sitting on the floor of my hut one day and made a list of all the things I like to do. And then I made a list of all the things I wanted to have/be able to do in my life. And then I tried to think of things that would give me the most of both categories...I came up with several options (firefighter, extending as a Peace Corps Volunteer, high school teacher, engineer, something professor) and then after a while, I sort of just realized later that day that I really wanted to go to grad school. And that I wanted to do it in some branch of Biology or other.

It took me by surprise, because I've always been the one in my group of friends who doesn't know what I'm doing next. I dunno if that helps.

Good luck! :D

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glad I could provide a bit of reassurance, I do tend to yammer in threads like these, it just flows out then I post it and I'm like yikes who's going to read this? But anyway, of course if I could change anything at all about my years as a drifting undergrad it would simply be not jumping into some course of study only because it was completely opposite of what I found to be too difficult. Like I felt like I took the cheap easy way out. I would have just allowed myself to drift, but that's what was scary at the time...drifting. As for the rest of it, sure it was a little more costly, in time and money, but I don't have any regrets and I'm not sorry about it, all of it led to me to a point where I'm at peace with the direction I'm going in.

So what's your next step? Are going to school?

Mal83, it's funny you mention drifting because that's what I did throughout college. I was miserable! First, I made an attempt for a mathematics major, but that bit the dust quickly. I jammed too many hard courses into one semester. Between my sophomore and junior years, I decided to be brave and go for Bioengineering. However, I struggled a lot with a couple of courses, and even after signing up for what I believed to be my dream major, I wasn't getting better grades than I was before. So coward that I was, I dropped bioengineering and realized "shit I need to graduate in 3 semesters". Not the greatest plan, but I sifted through the course catalog and picked out a major that I could complete in that amount of time, just to get out of that university. I ended up with statistics, which I hated. I mean I hated pretty much every statistics class I took (after the intro course), except for probability. I even tried taking a couple actuarial exam prep courses, which I also loathed.

So now that I'm a year out of that hot mess I made of my situation, I want to be a nurse. I'm going to be on a waiting list for an ADN program. Hopefully, it won't take more than a year for them to take me off that list because I am eager to get the ball rolling on this. When is my life finally going to start darn it? lol.

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I also figured out my next step in Peace Corps, although it wasn't so much a narrowing-down as it was a semi-accidental optimization curve.

I was sitting on the floor of my hut one day and made a list of all the things I like to do. And then I made a list of all the things I wanted to have/be able to do in my life. And then I tried to think of things that would give me the most of both categories...I came up with several options (firefighter, extending as a Peace Corps Volunteer, high school teacher, engineer, something professor) and then after a while, I sort of just realized later that day that I really wanted to go to grad school. And that I wanted to do it in some branch of Biology or other.

It took me by surprise, because I've always been the one in my group of friends who doesn't know what I'm doing next. I dunno if that helps.

Good luck! :D

That's a beautiful story about how you picked what you wanted to do. You mention Biology - boy, looking back, do I wish I had majored in that! I kept picking these really hard majors that I couldn't do. Not to knock Biology. In fact, I'm much more interested in living systems and how organs work than mathematical formulas.

Who let you do the Peace Corps? My Mom won't let me do sh*t, not even City Year, because she thinks it's too dangerous. Hello! I'm not getting any life experience here at home. (I did retail for 6 months but took leave of absence when they started cutting hours in Jan.)

Sorry for that rant. Anyway, you sound like a very interesting person. I would like to do any of those jobs you listed as possibilities for yourself.

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Yeah, your undergrad story is pretty similar to mine, I was miserable during those periods of transition, like oh god here I go again changing it up, eating up more time and money. And I always have that sense of urgency about me just like asking that question...when is my life actually going to start? I've been held up in Arizona for over a year and a half now, I've been staying with my parents ever since I got back from Ukraine until I could get on with the next phase of my life, which I assumed would be a job in my field in DC. But that just didn't happen, I couldn't make that happen. Sending in resume after resume for over 8 months yielded just about nothing. I spent most of my life in NJ, real close to everything I could want, but now that I'm ready to utilize it I'm almost as far away as I could get because my parents moved out here while I was gone. This has been depressing, frustrating, and daunting. I had a pretty tough time at first adjusting to my new status as "unemployed, stuck in the desert, hopeless" that's definitely how it felt for a long time, hopeless. Then after that 8 month period I had enough, I got an automated reject email from a study abroad organization here that I spent over 3 hours interviewing with and just snapped. Snapped in a good way I guess, I was like "no more, I'm not doing this anymore." I decided that grad school was my way out, it's not the same monster as finding a job. I knew I wanted to go eventually anyway, so might as well be sooner rather than later. I got a job at preschool and have been there 8 months now...I've totally had it, checked out, can't stand it anymore. I feel like pulling my hair out when I'm there. You'd think it wouldn't be that way but it is. I'm done in 5 weeks though...Hallelujah. The "oh my god I just want my life to start" thing has been raging ever since I got back and I finally just now am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So my point is, that I'm the only one that has decided on these various stages in my life, no one said yes or no. I mean of course my parents have been there devotedly regardless of their feelings about my choices...they knew the bottom line, I'm a good kid and all I want is to be a productive successful member of society. I noticed you asked awvish who gave permission to do PC....well for me it was...me! Were my parents even remotely thrilled about it? Uhh...nope. I went up against more opposition from them when I presented them with my brilliant idea to study abroad in Russia years back...they were like "what the hell? you want to go to the Soviet Union and get nuked?" Once they saw that not only did I make it through the semester but also loved it and grew up a bit then I think they realized I could handle this international thing. But I did the Peace Corps for myself, quite frankly I didn't care what anyone thought, sure I wanted my fam to be proud, and they were and they supported me 10000% while I was there, but asking them if I could do it, them saying no, and actually obeying the no part didn't even enter my radar screen. If you have some kind of inclination to do a volunteer program of any sort, man, you really should do it. You grow up a little or even a lot by doing these things whether it is related to your field of interest or not and despite the resistance you might face from family. Plus probably needless to say, putting a some volunteer time on your resume always improves your prospects. I know it's easier said than done, but if you want to do it than you'll make the right decision based on that.

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I'm still searching for what I want to do with my life, as well, but one book has helped me tremendously along the way. It's called "What Color is Your Parachute?" About half of it is a job hunting guide, but the other half is about figuring out what values, interests and skills matter the most to you, and how you can turn those into a career. Whenever I feel lost or adrift, I re-do the exercises in this book. I still have no idea what I'll do with my future, but I have a very clear idea of what the parameters are and how to go about making my decision.

Check it out:

What Color is Your Parachute -- Amazon Page

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That's a beautiful story about how you picked what you wanted to do. You mention Biology - boy, looking back, do I wish I had majored in that! I kept picking these really hard majors that I couldn't do. Not to knock Biology. In fact, I'm much more interested in living systems and how organs work than mathematical formulas.

Who let you do the Peace Corps? My Mom won't let me do sh*t, not even City Year, because she thinks it's too dangerous. Hello! I'm not getting any life experience here at home. (I did retail for 6 months but took leave of absence when they started cutting hours in Jan.)

Actually, I didn't major in Biology, either. I had a Bio-related major and then changed to Chemistry (my mom, who studied wildlife Bio, said "So...no more life sciences now, huh?" I said, "Nope, just real science." And boy am I eating those words now. This is all by way of saying that I get what you're saying about choosing majors). I did a couple of summers of research in Ecology/Behavior, but that's nothing you can't replicate in a post-bac situation.

I'm lucky in that my parents are pretty supportive...and we also stopped any 'let' rhetoric when I was in high school. As it is, they're happy I chose to do international volunteer work (they like to feel proud, and Peace Corps is just *full* of warmfuzzies), happy I've been completely safe so far (they are parents, after all), and really glad I'm coming home in the next two weeks. I'd say if you want to do Peace Corps, then there are plenty of considerate ways of getting around a worried parent--at the risk of sounding a little insensitive--it's your life, not your mom's, and so you should do with it what you want.

That said, I'm not sure that 'life experience' is really what the Peace Corps is all about. It's an experience, and it will be relevant to me for the rest of my life, but it's only 'life experience' in the same way that every day is an experience of living no matter where you are and thus a life experience. Life won't become magical because you get your water out of a well and carry it on your head...it will just become annoying whenever you want to shower. B) But if it's magical already, well, then, you're all set either way...

Edited by awvish
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Do also remember that "what you want to do with your life" does not automatically translate to "what you do for living." If it does (and you want it to), great! I'm doing that! But you don't *have* to define yourself and your aspirations by your "day job."

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Who let you do the Peace Corps?

I know this was directed to someone else, but...I don't even understand the question. I mean I guess the government/Peace Corps itself "lets" you do it, in that they have to accept you. (I REALLY hope I don't sound like a jerk in what I'm about to say, but I might and I apologize in advance.) The first step to figuring out what you want to do with your life might be self-actualizing and determining your own (adult) course of action, rather than waiting for someone (parents, whomever) to "let" you pursue what excites you.

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It must be the gut feeling. Follow your heart. Don't do what others want you to do. Think about things what make you happy, that would you like to spend the rest of your life doing. Your intuition is the key!

If you don't know it yet, may be you have not really tried understanding yourself. You must not rush. Just relax and think about different activities that make you really happy, about your skills and talents - and I am sure you have those! And be true to yourself. Don't lie to youself. Understanding yourself may not be easy but it is totally possible.

Good luck! ;)

Or he could have the problem like I do... I am older and STILL don't know what I want to do, it is because some people have a different outlook. I could see myself doing all kinds of things, what troubles me would be the very thing you mention, "spend the rest of your life doing"... that sounds horrifying to me. A long term job in the same field or career is just uninteresting to me. There is absolutely nothing I would want to do that long, so if that is the case for you OP, and it is for me... I would work on getting the most flexible skillset possible, and try not to get into too much debt for it. That is why I decided against grad school, as I didn't want to be pigeon holed.

i.e., i like writing...but I like writing about different subjects. I like programming, but I wouldn't want to work on the same application for too long. I like politics, but issues change too frequently so I would want constantly changing subject matter. I even get bored living some place too long and since school have lived in 5 diff places both inside and outside of the country, I'm 30.

Being intelligent doesn't mean being an expert in a narrow field.

The downside is, you won't have the "security" or "career climbing" that some people are interested in, but the upside is that you have a lot more life flexibility. You can position yourself as a consultant, or outside SME. You will of course have to network more, so if you are an introvert you might have to force yourself to get out there sometimes. But, I think the benefits could be worth it.

I work as an IT consultant and I am able to take contract jobs and gigs, I am also politically active and do work for 4 different NFP's as an advisor, I also do freelance journalism. In UG I did CompSci/PoliSci

I mean I didn't initially have that idea, it kind of just evolved as I went out into the real world. I played the corporate game for a few years, then I decided I did not want to work for anybody.

I know others don't see it that way, but there is nothing wrong with viewing life like that...

fwiw...

Edited by grapels
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Another Peace Corps volunteer here :)

It has taken me awhile to get to where I am right now, and the level of (temporary?) certainty I feel over what I want to do. When I was younger, I wanted to be a writer, first a novelist and then a journalist. I also loved Political Science but loathed the idea of getting into politics itself. I then went to UVa, where I majored in English and Spanish after spending the first two years doing pre-International Business (where I had to take Econ and Accounting classes). I also studied in Spain, where I got ex-pat fever.

Upon graduating, I promised myself I would live abroad no matter what. I ended up spending my savings to go run off and volunteer in Nicaragua and figure out what I wanted to do with myself. While there, I met people who had made good money teaching in Asia, so I came home completely broke and took a job in Korea. I taught ESL there for a bit, then went to Thailand to get my TEFL certification and teach there as well. While in Thailand, I started my Peace Corps application process, and came home to finish applying. At this time, I was completely obsessed with the idea of joining the Foreign Service in Public Diplomacy and going to Georgetown's MSFS program en route. I really thought that this was a "for sure" plan since it combined IR, journalism, and some politics. I also re-discovered my passion for reading about dictators and human rights issues such as the Cambodian genocide and the current problems in Burma while I was living in Asia.

I came home, got into the PC, but also met my now-fiance while I was going through the application process. This threw a wrench into my mental plans because the lifestyle of the FS no longer appealed to me as it had before, especially because I wouldn't want to force my guy into making his career take a back burner to mine. Now in the PC, I feel like it really is my calling to work in NGOs and particularly in the field of human rights and democracy (something that I am DYING to do right now, but PCVs aren't allowed to get involved with or speak of politics and so my soul has been slowly festering) because it is the one thing I have remained completely and utterly passionate about these years. Somehow, I came across MPP/MPA programs (I really couldn't tell you how, maybe by looking through the programs that take part in the PC Fellows) and realized that it was perfect.

I now feel really good and really sure of where my career is headed. Miraculously the random things I have done have all come together and actually make me a fairly good candidate for these programs, without even trying. I have taken quant classes, can write, know two foreign languages, and have non-profit experience.

Did I plan or think through any of this? NO. I am a big-time proponent of going with what feels right at the moment. I think somewhere inside of us, we know what we want but let external pressures get the best of us. I have always made spur of the moment life decisions that simply "seemed right" and I'm really happy with where it's led.

My advice is: don't push it. Let these things happen organically and no matter what your current situation, try to find something you care about or that can make your life better or more exciting for you. Trust me, I have had some terrible jobs and moments where I was like "am I really stuck in this right now?" but life kind of just falls into place sometimes. Yes, you have to take opportunities when they arise, but otherwise I wouldn't stress too much. There is absolutely no rush, and there is no such thing as wasted time- you can get something out of absolutely anything. Just keep a lookout for anything that combines your life's passions and then throw yourself into that when you feel like you couldn't possibly do anything other than go down that road. It'll happen, it just might take awhile ;)

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I'm in the middle of my grad program and I still don't know what the hell I'm doing! Part of me is thinking, Just finish the program, get a job and figure out what you want to do then. Another part of me is thinking, What the HELL am I doing? I thought that I wanted to "work with students." Now I'm not so sure.

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@bgreenster...gee the way you arrived at your decision sounds a lot like my own path...I just started doing things that I wanted to do that led me to be a good candidate for the PC, I studied Russian in college because I wanted to, studied abroad in Moscow because I wanted to, which led me to my desire for something internationally oriented. I got my BA in International Studies, then joined the PC because it was everything that I wanted to do, ended up in Ukraine so all of that Russian experience that seemed to be only for my own satisfaction at the time really culminated into a body of experience that said "I'm qualified to do something in this part of the world." PC prepared me directly for what I want to do with the rest of my life despite not being so certain or specifically seeking this out while I was doing it...International Development is perfect for me.

your story is so good for the OP...you have to just start doing things because you're interested in them, no need for some carefully plotted path or to figure out the rest of your life in a single decision...it usually doesn't work out anyway.

Edited by Mal83
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@bgreenster...gee the way you arrived at your decision sounds a lot like my own path...I just started doing things that I wanted to do that led me to be a good candidate for the PC, I studied Russian in college because I wanted to, studied abroad in Moscow because I wanted to, which led me to my desire for something internationally oriented. I got my BA in International Studies, then joined the PC because it was everything that I wanted to do, ended up in Ukraine so all of that Russian experience that seemed to be only for my own satisfaction at the time really culminated into a body of experience that said "I'm qualified to do something in this part of the world." PC prepared me directly for what I want to do with the rest of my life despite not being so certain or specifically seeking this out while I was doing it...International Development is perfect for me.

your story is so good for the OP...you have to just start doing things because you're interested in them, no need for some carefully plotted path or to figure out the rest of your life in a single decision...it usually doesn't work out anyway.

It's funny how much of us are like this. I think there's so much pressure to have an answer for everything, especially when finishing undergrad. With everyone asking "what are you going to do now?" or my favorite "what can you do with literature degrees, you want to be a teacher?" it can get to you.

Bobbi, I would say don't worry so much. You certainly can't put a deadline on it. I suspect you're not ready for graduate school yet, and I would go do whatever you can to be in the "real world" and see what grabs your interest. I know far too many people who went straight from undergrad to grad school and either disliked it, decided they wanted to do something else, and/or dropped out (a lot of them were law students, which of course seems to be the fallback for many people facing graduation). I'm not saying you can't succeed in grad school straight out of college, but the people I know that did were really sure about what they wanted to do.

Try to fight the norms that say you have to do such-and-such a thing by such-and-such a time and wait until you find something you are sure about (even if it's bound to change anyway! ha) And answer all those probing questions with "I have no idea! What do YOU want to do with your life?"

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It's funny how much of us are like this. I think there's so much pressure to have an answer for everything, especially when finishing undergrad. With everyone asking "what are you going to do now?" or my favorite "what can you do with literature degrees, you want to be a teacher?" it can get to you.

Bobbi, I would say don't worry so much. You certainly can't put a deadline on it. I suspect you're not ready for graduate school yet, and I would go do whatever you can to be in the "real world" and see what grabs your interest. I know far too many people who went straight from undergrad to grad school and either disliked it, decided they wanted to do something else, and/or dropped out (a lot of them were law students, which of course seems to be the fallback for many people facing graduation). I'm not saying you can't succeed in grad school straight out of college, but the people I know that did were really sure about what they wanted to do.

Try to fight the norms that say you have to do such-and-such a thing by such-and-such a time and wait until you find something you are sure about (even if it's bound to change anyway! ha) And answer all those probing questions with "I have no idea! What do YOU want to do with your life?"

Thanks a lot. It's just that they say that your day job ends up becoming your career, and I always thought I could do more than just part-time retail work. We'll see...I'll continue sending my resume out there.

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Thanks a lot. It's just that they say that your day job ends up becoming your career, and I always thought I could do more than just part-time retail work. We'll see...I'll continue sending my resume out there.

Well, if that's the case, I have a brilliant serving/bartending career ahead of me ;)

I believe your day job doesn't matter, the things that you do in your "free time" do. Other than teaching ESL (which I also hope isn't my career or I'd be miserable) my jobs have been retail, serving, grocery store cashier, nanny, bagel shop worker, etc. simply due to that's what was available and I needed to make rent. However, in my spare time I always made sure to pursue my interests even if that just meant doing extra reading on my own, or volunteering somewhere. I think as long as you don't resign yourself to your present situation, it can't become your future.

It's a frustrating process that will make you doubt yourself, but hang in there. I firmly believe that life comes together.

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This might be silly advice.... but I figured out what I want to do by finding out what I didn't want to do.

It is true that you may not figure out what you want to do forever and ever in your 20s and I think there's nothing wrong with that. I followed the advice of a career counselor I saw once - and that was to start with your natural strengths according to your personality. Figure out what it is that you do WELL because chances are, not only will you enjoy some of the underlying tasks involved in that career, but you'll be good at it too.

She recommended a book called "Do What You Are." It offered me a lot of perspective and helped me to identify WHY the career I was in at the time felt like a uphill battle. It was because I was working mostly in areas of weakness rather than strength. That's a starting point to help you make some decisions about what to do with your life.

Grad school is a huge undertaking - mentally, time-wise, and sometimes, financially as well. Make sure you're sure before you start. Thats my best advice, having been there before too.

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This might be silly advice.... but I figured out what I want to do by finding out what I didn't want to do.

It is true that you may not figure out what you want to do forever and ever in your 20s and I think there's nothing wrong with that. I followed the advice of a career counselor I saw once - and that was to start with your natural strengths according to your personality. Figure out what it is that you do WELL because chances are, not only will you enjoy some of the underlying tasks involved in that career, but you'll be good at it too.

She recommended a book called "Do What You Are." It offered me a lot of perspective and helped me to identify WHY the career I was in at the time felt like a uphill battle. It was because I was working mostly in areas of weakness rather than strength. That's a starting point to help you make some decisions about what to do with your life.

Grad school is a huge undertaking - mentally, time-wise, and sometimes, financially as well. Make sure you're sure before you start. Thats my best advice, having been there before too.

DrKT, oh I could give you a long list of occupations I could never do! I don't know about you, but if I don't like a job, I can't do it even half well. After taking a Myers-Briggs test, I got diagnosed as an ISTJ.

I'm curious about teaching, engineering, and medicine. Although additional schooling would be necessary for any one of those. I'm only concerned about (1) making sure that what I choose to do in grad school is what I really want, and (2) getting in. Thank you for the warning. Also, I'll pick up that book. What did you end up doing?

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DrKT, oh I could give you a long list of occupations I could never do! I don't know about you, but if I don't like a job, I can't do it even half well. After taking a Myers-Briggs test, I got diagnosed as an ISTJ.

I'm curious about teaching, engineering, and medicine. Although additional schooling would be necessary for any one of those. I'm only concerned about (1) making sure that what I choose to do in grad school is what I really want, and (2) getting in. Thank you for the warning. Also, I'll pick up that book. What did you end up doing?

I didn't take her advice - not because I didn't see the value in it, but because I prioritized 1. eating and having a roof over my head over 2. my ideal job. I remember almost breaking out in hives about the prospects of being stuck in a career doing research and yet, when the bottom fell out of the economy and I was on the job market while completing my dissertation, I vowed to take the first decent job in a decent location. It just happened to be in - dun dun dun - research. I'm still working this job right now and I'm far from happy. I can *do* the work, I just don't like it. So sitting in an office doing something you don't like for 40+ hours per week is pretty awful, lol. I'm just now going back to my original advice and finding something that fits more with my strengths and personality. I'm starting a job teaching soon... and also working on a business to help others get into grad school and get out on the other side with a fulfilling career. Basically, helping others avoid all of the mistakes that *I* made.

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  • 3 weeks later...

What a great thread!

Bobbi, have you thought about sort of dipping one toe into health-care by working as a medical receptionist or something? I ended up with a job as an assistant one between undergrad and grad-school; it wasn't related to what I've been wanting to do since I was 17, but it gave me a surprisingly good look into patients and health-issues and appointments and referrals and treatment. Might be worth trying out!

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(Uh, and when I say that it gave me a surprisingly good look into patients, I don't quite mean it literally. * laughs *)

Ha ha. Thanks, perfect timing as a matter of fact. Just yesterday I applied for a couple med receptionist positions in my area. *fingers crossed*. :-)

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I always wanted to do art for a living...until I found out not only how hard it is to break into the world of professional art, but also how bloody cheap people are and how unwilling they are to pay you for how much your work is actually worth. That, and being made to go to what will be eight years of art school has made my passion for what I used to love doing dwindle considerably. I still draw and make art for fun, but I don't think I want to do try doing it for serious money. Mostly because I'm not good enough to make serious money (or even livable money) doing it. No one wants a mediocre artist with a diploma mill degree working for them.

There were other things I considered doing, but realized they were just as frivolous as art...namely psychology and parapsychology (ghost hunting). More practically, I considered funeral science...embalming. But when I found out I'd have to work around formaldehyde, I decided not to. The odor of that crap made me want to vomit in biology class and working with copious amounts of it on a regular basis would have done me in my first day on the job.

Basically, what I've learned is that sometimes passions should remain passions and not become careers too. If ever I could go to college totally for free like via full scholarship or an employer footing the bill, I would go learn to do something more practical because creative work will get you nothing. The term "starving artist" is more true than you may think.

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I worked for many years at quite menial jobs. In the end, I took an assessment of myself. If you don't know already, figure out what you are good at. What talents or skills do you have? Then find a field which prizes those skills. Maybe it sounds more simple than it is, but that's how I did it.

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