rising_star Posted April 25, 2011 Posted April 25, 2011 Lesson learned. I have serious issues regarding decision-making. And I have to admit that you're more than right-on with that joke. Sigh. Everyone is probably right to tell me just to stick with it and enjoy (after all, it's ranked equal to my other choices)! But seriously: do people ever do a flip-flop within a 24 hour period? It's all been verbal so far, so no one has signed anything, but I was very unequivocal in my acceptance and rejections. I know it's a terrible idea. But is it POSSIBLE to do it without killing your reputation? Here's the thing: If you think you've made a horrible decision, you can ask for a release and accept another offer. Before doing this, check with the second school to see if you could still get funding if this change happens. Nothing is set in stone yet and no one is forcing you to stick with whichever school you've already picked. People can and do change their mind, you are definitely not the first. I know I made the right choice.... I was lucky to be accepted into a school that was an overall great fit. But my SO already accepted a program 700 miles away from me and just found out that she was waitlisted at the same school I will be attending!!! It's a pretty awful feeling She had to accept when she did but I just wish she could have had the option to go the same school. I wish they let her know earlier! If she gets in off the waitlist, she can ask the program she did accept for a release. There's a procedure for this. I am actually having buyers remorse right now. I chose a big-name ivy and not-the-best fit for an MA, versus a lesser-ranked school that was absolutely a perfect fit for the MA. Now i'm scared that I will have advising issues, and I'm not sure what to do! Again, you can and should change your mind. I'm not at all sure why you'd pick the big name school over the perfect fit. But, you should do some research on the advising possibilities before you make a switch.
leopolds Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 I think it's important to recognize that any time you make a decision in your life, you have to accept that you've also automatically introduced a loss as well. For every A you pick, you have to let go of the B (even if you didn't want the B to begin with, it's still a possibility that you can no longer fulfill.) I personally had to let go of the possibility of an MA at a top 20 school because of personal reasons but am still very thrilled with the school that I'll be attending in the fall. I know that it will give me a strong foundation from which to continue my education. But I can't spend time worrying about whether or not I made the right decision or wishing I could have done it differently because this is where I am in right now in my life, and other opportunities will become available as I'm ready to seek them out. I think it's best to do your research, know what you're getting into, consider all the variables (fit, finances, location, etc.) and then make a decision and move forward. That said, I know that some departments are very flexible when students have to change their plans for one reason or another so if you really can't shake it, get in touch with the departments and see if anything can be done about it. Otherwise, I would just suggest re-framing the issue. Instead of thinking obsessively about whether or not you made the right decision, ask yourself: "If I weren't thinking about this, what might I be thinking about?" Anxieties about whether or not one made the right choice, especially when they take on an obsession quality, are often just concealing other thoughts (perhaps excitement, doubt, nervousness, joy). Just my two cents! Best of luck.
lastminute Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 I think it's important to recognize that any time you make a decision in your life, you have to accept that you've also automatically introduced a loss as well. For every A you pick, you have to let go of the B (even if you didn't want the B to begin with, it's still a possibility that you can no longer fulfill.) This. All of this, actually! It took a while to let the panic subside and realize that I had really good reasons for choosing the school that I did. Historically I've had a hard time making decisions, and I didn't expect the decision process to be so painful. That took me by surprise. But now I feel really good about my choice. Reading this thread has been really helpful.
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