Content of recommendation letter??

[CHOCTICK]

I applied to grad. school and have one letter a professor did not want me to see. I want to ensure he said good things about me. What do you think of me asking the school I applied to with this letter if the professor in question represented me in the best light. I would go there in person and ask the office secretary--she seems like a nice lady. I got a B in this professors class and chatted with him during office hours on occasion.

I would not ask to read the actual letter--this would be against the professor's wishes and I don't want to go there. I just want some idea of what he is saying before I send this letter to other school. I would cry if he agreed to write the letter only to tell prospective schools I am dumb as a rock. Please advise. Thanks.

P.S:

I already have the letters. When I asked the professor in question if he would be willing to write the letter, he replied " I would be happy to." I am curious as to whether a professor who said " I would be happy to" would write a letter saying I am not cut out for grad. school. I have 2 of the sealed letters in hand--I could just open 1 and see what he said. But, I will honor his wishes and just keep them sealed. I am paranoid I guess. I really want to be able to rest assured he wrote something good about me.

[cliopatra]

Yes I think you should leave it sealed. There's a huge debate about whether students should have the right to see their letters (personally I think they should).

A thoughtful letter reccomender will let you see it, I think. But if it is sealed leave it this way as you said, honour his wishes. You have every right to go talk to this person and ask if they can give you an idea of what they said about you. There's a certain amount of trust that goes with recommendation letters and you would be breaking that if you opened the letter (it's different when they leave it unsealed it means you are free to see it).

Be up-front about your intentions as should they: you want to know if this letter gives you a shot at being accepted, and they should tell you honestly if they think you're grad school material. Saves everyone from wasting their time. "I would be happy to" is a good sign usually.

Edited September 29, 2011 by cliopatra

[butterfingers2010]

You can do what one of my dear friends did and just hold the envelope up to a bright light to take a sneak peak of what is inside But seriously...I doubt that a professor who gave you a good grade and said they would be "happy" to write your letter would choose to say bad things about you. Personally I would leave the envelope sealed as doing differently indicates a lack of integrity. I agreed with cliopatra...there is a certain level of trust that goes with LOR's, and if you don't trust this person to write a good letter, perhaps they were not the best choice.

I would not, under any circumstances, ask the school to see the letter. If you waived your rights to see the letters, they would not be able to show you, anyway. Maybe you could drop your professor a line and ask something like "Just out of curiousity, why is it your policy not to show students copies of their letters?" You could also say that you are thinking really carefully about your decision to attend grad school and contemplating whether you should get more work experience first,etc. Then ask the prof if they think you are good grad school material, or if there's things you need to work on. Obviously you are probably not rethinking your decision to go to grad school, but it's a gentler way of weaseling out the truth.

[remenis]

You should absolutely not open the letter or ask the school if you can see it. I think it would be perfectly okay for you to ask the office secretary if she thought it was a strong one or if you should ask someone else for a letter instead. You should not ask her to reveal anything he specifically said about you, but it is perfectly okay for her to give you a very general assessment of whether or not she thinks it is a strong letter of recommendation.

I don't want to worry you, but the problem is that some professors do happily, write mediocre letters for their students. And depending on the competitiveness of your program, it could be a big problem. I was advised that when asking for letters I should specifically say, "Would you be willing to write me a strong letter of recommendation." Since it's too late for that you should do everything you can to get a sense of whether or not the letter is actually going to help you. You cannot read it yourself, because it breaks trust, and you probably should not ask the professor to tell you what he wrote, since this will likely seem rude.

Does your school (whether current or alma mater) have a career services center? Because I know that one thing career centers do is read letters of recommendation and advise you on whether or not they are good. I think it would perfectly acceptable for you to ask him to send a copy to a career center (if you have access to one) so you can be better advised about your future plans, if you still stress that you will not be able to read the letter when he does so.

[ktel]

It would be extremely inappropriate for you to open the letter, and even more inappropriate to ask the school about the contents of the letter. It's a very strange request to make. I also think you are being way too paranoid, I can guarantee there is almost no way that he would say bad things.

That being said, one of my reference letters for a major scholarship was shown to me and was quite weak. But I got the scholarship. It was my own fault as I didn't have strong references then, but I do now, and a reference letter he wrote for me later was MUCH better. So I can kind of understand your concern, but that's the nature of LoRs. The best you can do is try to develop a good relationship and try to guide the letter writer as much as possible. In the past I have even gone so far as to write a draft for them (at their request) or to specifically point out things I think they should highlight.

[cliopatra]

You cannot read it yourself, because it breaks trust, and you probably should not ask the professor to tell you what he wrote, since this will likely seem rude.

Can you explain how it is rude to ask the professor if they can give you idea of the contents of his/her letter? I don't think it's rude at all, in fact, the professor should be telling the student what is in that letter because their future is at stake. If the letter won't be strong then that saves everyone some time. The student can find another letter-writer and the professor doesn't have to write a mediocre letter. Or maybe it will be a sign that it's not a good idea to apply to grad school if you're finding it hard to get strong letters.

Edited September 29, 2011 by cliopatra

[ktel]

Can you explain how it is rude to ask the professor if they can give you idea of the contents of his/her letter? I don't think it's rude at all, in fact, the professor should be telling the student what is in that letter because their future is at stake. If the letter won't be strong then that saves everyone some time. The student can find another letter-writer and the professor doesn't have to write a mediocre letter. Or maybe it will be a sign that it's not a good idea to apply to grad school if you're finding it hard to get strong letters.

It's like you're implying that you don't trust their judgement. When you ask them in the first place, you should ask them if they can write a STRONG letter, and if they say yes, you're trusting them to do so. If you don't trust them, then maybe you should find another letter writer. I know this isn't easy, and I struggled to get references at one point in my undergraduate career, but have quickly learned how important they are.

[cliopatra]

It's like you're implying that you don't trust their judgement. When you ask them in the first place, you should ask them if they can write a STRONG letter, and if they say yes, you're trusting them to do so. If you don't trust them, then maybe you should find another letter writer. I know this isn't easy, and I struggled to get references at one point in my undergraduate career, but have quickly learned how important they are.

I can see how it would look like you're not trusting their judgement, but at the same time, it's crucial to know if it will be a strong letter. I guess what this means is that before they even get started on the letter, like you said, ask them if it's going to be strong. If not, then don't bother.

When I asked for letters while applying for my M.A. I asked them in general what the letters would say. I didn't feel like it was out of line and based on their responses, they were happy to oblige.

[CHOCTICK]

This is the issue. I have only applied to one school thus far and they received the recommendation letter in question. I have another school I will be applying to and I must get into one of these two schools. For this second school I have 2 options: apply and provide them with only the 2 recommendation letters I know are good or send them the 2 good letters and the suspect letter. "Send them the two letters you know are good," you quickly reply. Not so fast. My situation is unique.

I was dismissed from one grad program because my gpa fell below 3.0--I had a 2.5. I attribute this mostly to the quarter system at the school I left--please don't comment as to my ability to be successful in grad school. I know I can. Back to the suspect letter.

For the school I will be applying to, I want them to have an opinion from an engineering professor. The suspect letter is from an engineering professor and the 2 good ones that I have read--with permission--are from mathematics professors. This suspect letter--assuming it is good--will assuage any concerns prospective grad. programs might have concerning my earlier performance and potential for success as an engineering grad student. If I omit the suspect letter, they will only have the 2 good letters from 4 years ago. My undergraduate degree is in mathematics and I want to get a masters in structural engineering. Hope this makes sense.

[remenis]

I can see how it would look like you're not trusting their judgement, but at the same time, it's crucial to know if it will be a strong letter. I guess what this means is that before they even get started on the letter, like you said, ask them if it's going to be strong. If not, then don't bother.

When I asked for letters while applying for my M.A. I asked them in general what the letters would say. I didn't feel like it was out of line and based on their responses, they were happy to oblige.

It is not at all inappropriate to ask a person before they write the letter what kinds of things they are planning to say about you and in fact it's a really good idea to do so.

But It is considered rude to ask them after they have already written and submitted a letter on your behalf because in addition to the fact that it seems that you do not trust them, this is a favor that the person has done for you and you are implying that it you might not appreciate it and that they wasted their time.

It's very unlikely that the professor actually wrote damning, negative things, so you just have to decide how much it would hurt you if he wrote a weak letter saying you something like "he was an average, competent and pleasant student."